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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

The people that ask Grok everything are the same people that follow Google Map directions straight into a lake.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Bugs Bunny was my introduction to opera. Can’t say I’ve kept up with it much since.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

What’s my net worth? Buddy, I don’t own a net.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

I hope one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

I hate porn that starts off with sex. I need to know why they have sex.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

You know you’re getting old when the radio stations and bars play music you don’t like, but the supermarket is throwing out banger after banger.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

People be like, “I’m a work in progress” and never make any progress.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

I have friends in high places (birds).

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Everyone tells me “take care”, but no one tells me why.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

I don’t know how to knit, so I made you a tinfoil hat.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,570

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

Sorry for being so cringey and awkward. It will definitely happen again.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

How many times does one have to open the fridge door before cake appears inside?

Shared recently on Discord:

My soul leaving my body when the lecturer says “let’s hear from someone who hasn’t spoken yet”

Shared recently on Facebook:

I don’t hide from my problems, I just ignore them until they lose interest.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Me attempting to flirt: So do you like doing things?

Spotted on Messenger:

Sharpening pencils at the bin was the biggest link-up.

Going viral on Instagram:

If we start flirting now, we could be in matching pajamas on a Christmas card before the holidays.

Just landed via Slack:

Everyone on the bus thinks that they are the main character, when in reality the main character is the bus.

Going viral on Instagram:

Every night at bedtime I do one small ritual: six hours on my cell phone.

Trending via WeChat:

It’s never too early to start making bad decisions.

Funny tombstone quotes

Funny tombstone quotes offer a witty and lighthearted take on the final resting place. 🪦😄 These quotes blend humor with a touch of reverence, making us chuckle while reflecting on life’s inevitable end. Dive into these amusing epitaphs that show even in death, a good laugh is always welcome! 😂🌟

New funny tombstone quotes 👇

All funny tombstone quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on Snapchat this month:

I bet when you invited me to Thanksgiving dinner you didn’t think I’d stay this long.

27 shares on Instagram this month:

People always tell me I’d be “late to my own funeral” like it’s a bad thing. They’d be lucky if I even showed up to that depressing shit.

99 shares on Facebook this month:

Salary week, but salary weak.

60 shares on Twitch this month:

If you love someone, let them go. If they come back with snacks, it was always meant to be.

15 shares on Instagram this month:

Humanity doesn’t always make a compelling case for its continued existence.

20 shares on Twitch this month:

Neurodivergents will be like, ‘I’m so tired,’ and then refuse to sleep because they haven’t had enough me time after surviving the day.

65 shares on Slack this month:

I’m almost finished reading your tweet. Love it so far.

83 shares on TikTok this month:

The real flex is how many wounds you can turn into wisdom.

79 shares on WeChat this month:

I wonder how many people think, “What the hell?” after talking to me.

95 shares on Threads this month:

My boss wants me to train some other employees so it’s pretty obvious he has no idea I am completely incompetent.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Opening a bakery and calling it “I’m a crepe. I’m a weird dough.”

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Confucius says: “Those who drink a lot die earlier, but have seen twice as much in life.”

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Half of all the problems in life can be solved by duct tape. For the rest, you’re gonna have to reboot that computer.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Falling off academically is worse than a heartbreak.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop checking your phone every minute. No one loves you.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Only difference between me and someone in a psych ward is I’m outside.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If you see me out running, you should run too, because something is definitely chasing me.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Just remembered I can just get drunk after work instead of quitting. That was a close one.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I say things I don’t mean on spicy chicken.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,687

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across the bed.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

I think my bank account has been taking Ozempic.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Went to HR to complain about my coworkers but my mom said she can’t fire my kids.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Don’t go chasing waterfalls? The place where many video games hide easter eggs and other rare items?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

I knew school was a scam when my business teacher didn’t own a business, and my PE teacher was fat.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

We’re in the middle of a snowstorm with no cake in the house. I never expected to perish like this.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

The web is a great place to befriend people who you’d never let in your house.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Never faked an orgasm before, but the joy of ugly presents.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Sometimes I delay my haircut intentionally to look rugged just to make that glow-up more iconic.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

My mom sent me a text message so long I had to refill my Adderall prescription to read it.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I did the math and a second job would help me get out of debt as long as I start it twelve years ago.

Shared recently on WeChat:

When you decorate your whole house for Christmas, what you’re really saying is “I’m not going to dust for at least a month.”

Just shared via Pinterest:

If I had a bf, I’d be a gf.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.

Freshly posted on Threads:

This post is highly top-secret. You need to forget that you’ve seen it immediately.

Going bananas on Slack:

The guy who drills the holes so you can assemble IKEA furniture is clearly having problems at home.

Seen just now on Facebook:

December calories don’t count. That’s the law.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Is there an app yet that converts voice messages into text messages?

Just landed via TikTok:

I don’t think you all understand. If Taylor Swift didn’t have a private jet, she’d be Taylor Slow.

Seen just now on Discord:

Spent most of the day making sure my couch still works. So far so good.

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