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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Why learn new slang? Stay bogus.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

I had a million opportunities to waste money this year, and I took them all. In fact, even when there wasn’t an opportunity, I created one.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Nobody has ever been more surprised than a husband hearing about his wife’s plans for the second time.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Even though he murders a lot of people, you can tell Freddie Kruger is a fun loving guy cause he goes by Freddie and not Fred or Frederick.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

“It’s the most wonderful crime of the year!” I crooned running away with the pot of Santa’s donations.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Old age is always 15 years older than I am.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Should we all just give up and get really into drugs? Wait, this is literally what happened in the 60s. That just clicked for me.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to a happy life.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

You’re no Sultan of Swing, buddy, you’re hardly a Governor of Groove.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,706

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

“Beauty sleep” is bullshit. I sleep 14 hours a day and still look like trash.

Breaking via WeChat:

Pretty sure the best place to hide a dead body is in a new tab you opened to read later.

Breaking via Twitch:

Only after moving in together do you realize your girlfriend’s little quirks. Mine, for example, stores vegetables in the beer compartment.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Can’t stand when I’m determined to see something in a negative light, and somebody offers a different, healthier perspective. I already made up my mind to be upset. Don’t be rude.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Girls want a bad boy to fix. Boys want a good girl to corrupt. Me? I just want a rumbustious monkey as a butler.

Going bananas on TikTok:

How are there low birth rates when everyone here is a big baby?

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Coke Zero sounds like a government pledge to eliminate fizzy drinks by 2030.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

The good old days, when you didn’t have to charge your watch and it didn’t constantly remind you how fat you were.

Making waves on Messenger:

Sorry, I can’t talk right now. The seam of my sock feels weird.

Going viral on Reddit:

I don’t want to brag but I found a recipe online, and then within three weeks not only made the recipe, but closed the tab on my browser.

Funny traumatic quotes

Funny traumatic quotes bring a hilarious twist to those cringe-worthy moments we all secretly love to laugh at 😂✨ Turning awkward fails and unexpected disasters into comedy gold, they remind us that sometimes life’s biggest mess-ups make the best stories 🎢🤣 Ready to smile through the chaos? Let’s dive into the perfect blend of trauma and humor that’ll have you giggling and relating all at once! 🎭🔥

New funny traumatic quotes 👇

All funny traumatic quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on WeChat this month:

If a stranger starts talking to me in an elevator I say “I don’t want to talk in case we get stuck and I have to eat you” that usually shuts them up.

52 shares on WeChat this month:

My boss denied me a raise before my shift today. What’s some music you have never wanted to hear in a coffee shop?

46 shares on Threads this month:

Fancy restaurants are self-esteem destroyers because good luck not leaving an embarrassing stain on the white table cloth. Ever.

44 shares on Reddit this month:

Discovered a new coping mechanism called lashing out and making your loved ones resent you.

46 shares on WhatsApp this month:

They should invent a Twitter where the timeline doesn’t refresh against your will.

13 shares on Pinterest this month:

AI could never replace me, you can’t put this much self-loathing into a machine.

18 shares on Snapchat this month:

Getting up early would be easier if we could keep our eyes closed.

67 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t need your flipping advice, I am capable of ruining my life on my own.

55 shares on WhatsApp this month:

We need a holiday at the end of every summer that honours all the women who wore sundresses.

64 shares on Reddit this month:

Dear ghosts, if you can move stuff around and flicker lights, then you can use a mop.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Could you even imagine the crime rate if no one drank coffee or ate bacon.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Before ball parks were invented there was pretty much no way to give someone a rough estimate.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody seems more shocked, disappointed and dismayed than the person behind the post office counter when I arrive and say I’ve got something to post.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Laxatives help you live up to your full pooptential.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I look deep into my colleagues’ eyes to check if you really can’t see the back of their skulls.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

People without a sense of humor should not be allowed to decide what people with a sense of humor are allowed to laugh at.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting out of bed should count as resistance training.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at that age where I can no longer refer to other people as “elderly.”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Some days you just feel like a hotel microwave. You’re here, but you don’t have enough power to actually do anything.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Have kids so you can say things you never thought you would like “please don’t vacuum your sister”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,327

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Coming back to your own bed after a few days away is peak coziness.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Me: what can possibly go wrong though. Anxiety: I’m glad you asked.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

My DMs are always open if you want to talk to yourself.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the theater.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

“We told you to stop at 2012!” – The Mayans

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

I think I’ll spend my savings on a lifetime supply of pasta. Worth every penne.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on Facebook every day.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Not to upset anyone, but Monday is waiting outside.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

At this point, I’m rooting for the aliens.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

I’m just here to make you wish I wasn’t.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

Sorry, can’t make it, just remembered I don’t want to.

Just landed via Facebook:

People really be like, “I would never do that to you,” and then do it with a remix.

Breaking via Twitch:

Girls with long hair will literally leave little traces of themselves wherever they go, like feathers falling from an angel’s wings.

Going viral on Messenger:

Seeing people exercising outside my house really motivated me to get up and close the blinds.

Trending via TikTok:

Men are only nice for 3 weeks, then surprise you with another personality.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Making a cult with only intuitive introverts so we can all sit in silence, side-eyeing each other suspiciously.

Trending via Twitch:

The neighbor sneezes loudly from the balcony. And because I’m a polite person, I shout loudly: Disgusting!

Making waves on LinkedIn:

When I’m president, everyone who listens to techno, house or rap will be allowed to drive a little faster than others.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

They should make a tanning bed that constantly rolls you over like a gas station hotdog.

Going viral on X:

You should be able to call in sad to work.

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