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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

TV lead me to believe grave digging would be a lot easier.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Men are like dogs. They’re actually cute, but having my own would be too much work for me.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

I’m so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-toe on top of it.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

I’m so old, I used to block people by simply holding the door shut.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

If you order a pizza with veggies on it, you can tell people you had a salad.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they’re the ones who can sign you into a home.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

HR: “Please complete our anonymous survey.” My boss then later: “Don’t forget the survey, HR said you are the last one from our team.”

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

British people never go downstairs; they just jump out of a window and open an umbrella like Mary Poppins.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

My immune system told me it’s a lover not a fighter.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

A wise man once said, “Bees don’t waste their time explaining to flies that honey is better than shit.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

Updated

8 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

My brain says “Let’s do something exciting today” but my body says “Don’t listen to that fool.”

Going viral on Snapchat:

So you like bad boys? Cause I’m bad at everything.

Just shared via Facebook:

My age is news to me every single time I remember.

Reported on Snapchat:

I bought a bag of M&M’s and they don’t have M’s anymore. They all have W’s, for woke.

Making waves on Pinterest:

What if we kissed while watching the decay of our society?

Trending via Reddit:

You cannot trust me at a zoo because I’ll release the animals.

Live now on Slack:

If GPT-5 will have ‘Ph.D.-level intelligence’, then GPT-6 will have the intelligence of someone who decided not to get a PhD.

Making waves on Slack:

Thinking about stepping down from being an adult, I’m just not in the right headspace for this position right now. I really appreciate the opportunity though.

Live now on Snapchat:

Gotta find someone you’re thermostatically compatible with. You can’t be a 74 dating a 62.

Going viral on TikTok:

Elevators frighten me. I take steps to avoid them.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

Updated

8 minutes ago

Users Online

3,430

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Marriages are like pancakes. Sometimes you gotta throw the first one out.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

I could tell my beard needed a trim when I started seeing some of the pictures my kids were drawing of me.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Some people can’t sleep because they have insomnia. I can’t sleep because I have Internet.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Every Reddit relationship post is like “My husband dropped a big piano on my head and when I emerged from the rubble my teeth had been replaced by the keys. Am I in the wrong?”

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

I’m going spiraling, do you need anything?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Waking up has backfired on me so many times.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Study so hard until Dior is like Shein to you.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Unfortunately, I wasn’t built for casual dating, I’m only built for intense soul crushing love at first sight.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

A 12 step program but it’s just me getting off the couch.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

If you hide the Easter eggs while you’re drunk, nobody knows where they are.

Just landed via X:

Having a good heart has done nothing but made me look stupid.

Going viral on WeChat:

Sometimes it’s the conversations you have with yourself that take the longest.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Instead of writing LOL, I’m going to start writing SALTS (smiled a little, then stopped). It’s more accurate.

Just shared via Instagram:

I’m the kind of crazy you weren’t warned about because no one knew this level existed.

Seen just now on WeChat:

The invention of locks was a key turning point in history.

Live now on Reddit:

Having Twitter is just like reading the newspaper, except the newspaper is on fire and all the writers hate you.

Going viral on TikTok:

To all the people who ask singles why they are actually single: Please don’t. We have sworn an oath and are not allowed to tell you the secret of our success.

Shared recently on Twitch:

If you’re not dropping it like it’s hot, then what the hell are you doing?

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