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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Passive income? Brothers, I need massive income.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Half of Twitter is horny, half is depressed, and the other half don’t know how to do math.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Yes, I know there is a really special place in hell for me. It’s called a throne.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Funny that all this nonsense just stayed in people’s heads before Twitter came along.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

You have never experienced true fear until a poster falls off the wall in the middle of the night.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

“It gets to a point” is one of my favourite phrases because it literally does get to a point sometimes.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

I was an ugly baby. It’s been downhill since then.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

You’re old if you’re excited to learn how to play Mahjong.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Caught the bouquet at the funeral.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Іf Empire Strikes Back isn’t a Christmas movie, then why is there so much snow in it?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,746

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

She’s the kind of beautiful that makes me do 40 push-ups in my room at 3am.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I don’t know why doctors only give stickers to kids? Like, hello, I was also brave today.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Seeing people exercising outside my house really motivated me to get up and close the blinds.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Home: Where I can look ugly and not care.

Seen just now on Facebook:

This is about the time of year where my enthusiasm about shoveling snow turns into “it will probably melt on it’s own”.

Going bananas on Facebook:

The marriage rate has been trending downward. Choreographed wedding dances may be the reason.

Going viral on TikTok:

I’m at the stage in life where I stay out of arguments. Even if you say 1+1=5, you’re right. Have fun.

Spotted on Instagram:

Twitter is basically like a mental institution where everyone thinks they’re the sane one, and everybody else is crazy.

Making waves on Messenger:

Skinny people are easier to get blown around by storms. These donuts are for my safety.

Just shared via TikTok:

Today is one of those days where I have to remind myself that you’re not allowed to strangle people.

Funny unsolicited quotes

Funny unsolicited quotes pop up when you least expect them, bringing unexpected laughs and eye rolls alike 😂💬. Whether from strangers or that one overly confident friend, these gems remind us that humor doesn’t always need an invitation 😉✨. Ready to dive into a world of hilarious wisdom and cheeky truths? Buckle up, because these spontaneous snippets are here to brighten your day with a side of surprise! 🎉🤣

New funny unsolicited quotes 👇

All funny unsolicited quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on Instagram this month:

When a door closes in life, sometimes it’s better to grab a hammer and nails and make sure the damn thing stays shut.

22 shares on WhatsApp this month:

So I think the mammals have now ravaged this planet long enough. It’s time for the reptiles to take over again.

91 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

57 shares on Slack this month:

All of my passwords are protected by short-term memory loss.

57 shares on Pinterest this month:

A dating app to meet other people with low IQ called OK Stupid.

63 shares on WeChat this month:

Therapy? I have Spotify.

66 shares on WeChat this month:

“I’m getting tired of everything being 100 dollars and 100 degrees.”

61 shares on TikTok this month:

Another fine day ruined by waking up.

30 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Hear me out. What if we don’t elect another president, and we all just promise to be really good?

58 shares on WeChat this month:

Sorry I’m late. I was in the car waiting for my song to end.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t always seize the day. Sometimes I poke the day with my index finger and go, ew, ew, ew, ew.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

People my age are raising children, and I’m just here trying to bribe myself with treats into doing my own chores.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so lazy that I’ll break my tooth trying to get this tag off before I get up and get a scissor.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m capable of doing a lot of things but listening to people chew their food is not one of them.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a social media influencer in that I’ve influenced people to ignore me on social media.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Texting is so boring. Just show up to my door with roses.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

You can get addicted to a certain kind of swagness.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

“Real Housewives” is a great oxymoron because nothing about them is real.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The good news is that I’ve been finding new ways to waste my time.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

You seem really unhinged, we should grab coffee sometime.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,711

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Ever since I was young, I wanted to check my email for a verification code.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

So apparently problems don’t go away if you ignore them.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

We should be able take jets and tanks and stuff whenever we want, we paid for them.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

“Are you seeing anyone,” like hallucinating?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

As you get older, nothing loses its sting more than an authority figure saying they are disappointed in you. Like, I don’t know what to tell you, dude, we can’t both live in the prison of your expectations.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m getting to the age where it’s rude to pull out a bottle of ibuprofen if I don’t have enough for everyone.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Middle-aged math is going out drinking and feeling half your age then waking up the next morning feeling twice your age.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Twitter hits different, cause it’s like the only social media app you can use effectively while playing music.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

So I got a call from a telemarketer, and he said he couldn’t understand me. I told him, “Press 1 for English.”

Making waves on Slack:

I’m just a crazy person looking for a crazy person who finds me completely normal.

Trending via LinkedIn:

They say dress for the job you want, so I walk around dressed like Darth Vader.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

People found guilty of not using punctuation deserve the longest sentence possible.

Going viral on Threads:

I wish it were social acceptable to say “I don’t care” and walk away mid conversation when you’re bored.

Breaking via Twitch:

Women are actually very understanding if you’re honest with them, especially if they like you. You don’t even have to do all that lying.

Freshly posted on X:

Remember when we were young and said “I’ll sleep when i’m older”? Well, now we can’t when we want to.

Shared recently on Facebook:

In the autumn there are two types of creatures who collect acorns: squirrels and toddlers.

Spotted on Threads:

If you ever need me, I’m always just a couple missed calls and text messages away.

Spotted on Reddit:

Life is short. Make sure you spend as much time as possible on the web arguing with strangers.

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