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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

The lion doesn’t concern himself with much of anything these days.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Adulting’s a total scam. Bills, taxes, and a laundry pile that breeds in the dark, were not in the brochure!

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

You know you’ve mastered marriage when you shout to your husband, “Take the thing off the thing,” and he immediately knows what to do.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

This Monday has Monday written all over it.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

I say “long story short,” and suddenly we’re in Act III with an intermission.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

I have to pee. Story of my life.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

I’m not a dietitian, but if you eat pizza right at midnight your body doesn’t know if the calories go towards yesterday or today so they don’t count.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

When things get hot, they expand, so I’m just getting warmer, not gaining weight.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Why is everyone against sugar? Who stood beside you when things went wrong and you were sad? It wasn’t lettuce, for sure.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Every morning I wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,455

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

I’m of the very strong opinion that sex ed should be taught by a woman 37 weeks into her third pregnancy, while her husband sits scrolling through his phone, and her other two children run wild.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

It’s funny how it’s often easier to access academic resources illegally, even when you have university library access.

Spotted on Instagram:

Stress in private, complain on Twitter, happy in public.

Trending via Pinterest:

Onion rings? I’m answering.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Floppy disks are like Jesus. They died to become the icon of saving.

Going viral on Reddit:

I’m glad laughter is the best medicine because my insurance sucks.

Trending via Reddit:

Feeling like a bug without his rug.

Going viral on Discord:

The best part about being single is sleeping around. You can sleep all over that bed of yours – left, right, middle.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I look stable, but I talk to animals, and wait for them to reply.

Spotted on X:

Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.

Funny weekly routine quotes

Funny weekly routine quotes bring a burst of laughter to the everyday grind 😂✨ They turn mundane Monday blues and midweek slumps into moments of joy 🎉 Whether you’re hustling hard or just winging it, these witty reminders keep spirits high and smiles wide 😄 Ready to laugh through your week like never before? Let’s dive into some seriously silly sayings that make routine anything but boring! 🚀🎈

New funny weekly routine quotes 👇

All funny weekly routine quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on YouTube this month:

To save money, you really just gotta stay at home.

67 shares on WeChat this month:

My summer body is just my winter body with better lighting.

62 shares on Reddit this month:

People who don’t admit their mistakes disgust me. I would absolutely admit to a mistake if I had ever made one.

48 shares on Messenger this month:

Spoiler alert: Eventually you will pay a price for the way you treated people.

64 shares on WeChat this month:

Sometimes I say “huh,” then answer the question before you can repeat your question.

45 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Missed garbage day today, if you’re looking for a bad boy that doesn’t play by the rules.

31 shares on Snapchat this month:

Zara makes clothing for occasions that don’t exist.

43 shares on Pinterest this month:

Everytime I spend $20 I think this is fine because I won’t do it again. And then would you believe.

85 shares on Messenger this month:

My favorite thing to do when I see people I know in public is to pretend I didn’t.

30 shares on Facebook this month:

Hanging out with a couple and saying, “May this love never find me,” every time there’s a slight conflict.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

There should be a calorie refund for food that didn’t taste as good as you expected.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

You are the wind beneath my overly sensitive, motion-activated floodlight.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Full-time employment will have you making lists of thoughts to think.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My cats won’t talk to me because I came home late from work.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

McDonald’s needs a 3rd window so you can trade in all the wrong stuff they gave you.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish my wife’s sighs came with subtitles.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

You get to a certain age and realize stretching is non-negotiable.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My brain is 80% song lyrics.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Earth is hard.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

You are the Monday of my life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,639

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

“Are you single?” No, I’m in a hallucinationship.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Lord, remove any laziness from my body and push me to my full potential the rest of this year.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Hangman is so great. No better way for a child to learn how to spell than by having to save a man from hanging to death.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Going to ask seven friends for advice and then execute my original plan.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Santa punched a hole in my wall because I left him soy milk.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

One of the best examples of someone posing a question that they already know the answer to is the WeightWatchers website asking me if I accept cookies.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

My life is a constant cycle of waiting for the weekend.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

You don’t realize how incorrect and annoying YouTube video essays are until they’re about something you like.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Rain cancels plans, upsetting some and delighting others.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

I really appreciate where you’re coming from. I just wish you’d go back.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

Parallel lines have got so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.

Making waves on Twitch:

I always sit in the middle stall so I have a bathroom buddy.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I want to sleep but my brain won’t stop talking to itself.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I could put my keys in the same spot every day, but why deprive myself of a treasure hunt that makes me late.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

It’s curious how kids are always really hungry right before dinner and right after dinner, but never during actual dinner.

Breaking via TikTok:

Beginning to understand why deer throw themselves in front of cars.

Seen just now on Reddit:

My anti-theft device in my car is that it’s manual.

Freshly posted on Threads:

“I can’t wait to go back to bed tonight!” Me, 5 minutes after waking up.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Have been dipping my toe into doing Pilates, and let me tell you, women are real sickos.

Live now on Telegram:

One sec, lemme just find the off switch for my brain.

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