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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Curly fries are my favorite as they’re salty and spiraling, like me.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry I roasted you, I was trying to flirt.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Rule number 1 at a concert: Don’t sing while filming!

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Flying bugs can basically go anywhere they want, but still choose to fly right into your face.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Doggy style is out cat style is in. It’s where I let you touch me until I’m satisfied then ignore you and scratch you if you try and touch me again.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

I finally got 8 hours of sleep. Took me four days, but whatever.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

I enjoy driving because it combines my desire to sit with my talent for being angry.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

My chess strategy is eating one of your pieces every time you look away.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Remember when we were kids and did everything we could to grow up? We were so stupid!

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

“Lmao” has survived and even thrived over the years, but its cousin “rofl” has faded into indignity. The cruelty of fate.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2405 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,567

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,567

38 minutes ago

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

Why can’t you just be happy for me and then go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person?

Just shared via Reddit:

The global energy crisis could be solved if only we could harness the power of my wife slamming my car door.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place wieners and/or cheese slices in your pockets, so the search dogs will find you first.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Drugs do not ruin your career. Drug tests do.

Trending via TikTok:

Everything is dishwasher safe if you don’t care enough about it.

Spotted on Reddit:

Adulthood will turn Gmail into part of your social media routine.

Spotted on Instagram:

If there’s no open mouth cougher on the plane they hold the flight until they can find one.

Reported on Messenger:

Like a fine bourbon, we get better with age. Or, at least, … we feel better about our age after drinking lots of bourbon!

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Men are only nice for 3 weeks, then surprise you with another personality.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Me, one week before the new year: Not to brag, but I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of the year.

Home » Funny Weighted Quotes

Funny weighted quotes

Funny weighted quotes bring a hilarious twist to those deep, heavy moments in life ⚖️😂! Whether you’re feeling the pressure or just need a chuckle, these witty lines lighten the load and keep things playful 🎈😜. Perfect for sharing with friends or brightening your day, they prove that even the weightiest topics can come with a side of laughter 😄✨. Ready to giggle through the gravity? Let’s dive in!

New funny weighted quotes 👇

4 months ago
Share →: Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

Commentary:
"Who needs fancy bedding when you've got a mattress for that extra *weight* in your life? 💸😴 #BudgetSleepingHacks"
5 months ago
Share →: A weighted blanket isn’t enough today, I need to be compressed into a zip-file.

Commentary:
"Feeling the pressure much? 🤣 Maybe it's time to upgrade from a blanket to a USB stick for that extra zip-file compression! 💾💤 #TechNapGoals"
6 months ago
Share →: I prefer my weighted blanket in human form.

Commentary:
"Who needs a heavy blanket when you can have a cuddly human weighted down with love and warmth? 😂🤗 #HumanBlanketUpgrade"
6 months ago
Share →: I need a weighted blanket that won’t let me get out of bed in the morning.

Commentary:
"Looks like we need a 'weighted blanket with a lock' edition to make sure the morning escape mission remains impossible! 🛌⛓️☀️ #NotAMorningPerson"
6 months ago
Share →: Who needs a weighted blanket when you’ve got the weight of the world?

Commentary:
"Who needs a weighted blanket when you've got the weight of the world? 💪🌎 Maybe a nice cup of tea and a nap on a cloud could help lighten that load! ☁️😄"

For even more funny weighted quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny weighted quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2405 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,567

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,567

38 minutes ago

3,449

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Sometimes when I’m having a particularly stressful day, I take a pregnancy test to remind myself that at least one thing in my life is still going as planned.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Maybe coffee is addicted to me?

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Unfortunately most of my sex noises come from trying to get out of bed.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

No kids at my wedding. Gonna Uber the flower girl home when she’s done.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

A dating app that matches people by the conspiracy theories they are interested in.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

“I made this with AI.” Yeah, we can tell.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Workplace Wrapped: you had 60k minutes of meetings this year that could’ve been an email.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Very disappointed to find out that the universal remote control I bought does not control the universe.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Social media is a great way to make new enemies.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

I ordered a new umbrella on Amazon and had it delivered straight to the lost and found office to maximize efficiency.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Snapchat:

Guns N’ Roses: “Welcome to the jungle!” The jungle: “No more humans, please!”

Just landed via TikTok:

You don’t get to tell me what to do, you’re not my cat.

Making waves on Instagram:

I never sit around waiting for anyone except for the pizza delivery guy.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Just had a salad but it didn’t make me laugh like women in stock photos.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

The only way to my heart is with a knife.

Spotted on Threads:

“Follow your heart,” as advice, is sort of like “abandon yourself to cognitive bias.”

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

The agony of thinking you’re finished doing the dishes, only to turn around and, to your horror, the pot.

Just landed via Facebook:

Not many things sadder than an untickled fancy.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Don’t forget to whine and complain about Monday today.

Live now on Snapchat:

Memes are the most information-dense form of communication.

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