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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Gardeners are the only people who willingly go outside to get dirty, sweaty, bitten, and sunburned… and call it “relaxing”.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

If your name is “Guy”, you have lazy parents.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Me gasping and flipping off the vultures as they circle above the running track.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Sheep to the left of me. Cows to the right. Here I am. Stuck on a bus with a view.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

“Machines will soon be as smart as people.” Ok, but which people?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

For International Women’s Day, I’m going to celebrate by hitting every curb I see.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

House sitting for friends while they’re out of town. Never knew my buddy kept a diary.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Stop wasting your money on beauty products. The secret to looking young is to wear a baseball cap with a propeller on it.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Taking a guy from skinny jeans to linen trousers, that’s my way of giving back to society.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

782 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,944

Funny Quotes Topics

13,916

Funny Quotes Images

10,944

Updated

7 minutes ago

Users Online

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

“She’s so self-centered.” Who’s supposed to be the center of my life? You?

Reported on Pinterest:

Humans are just chaos wrapped in meat, going bananas on caffeine.

Spotted on Instagram:

Neighbors are fighting. Can I knock on the wall and ask them to speak up so I know whose side I’m on?

Trending via Snapchat:

The fewer friends at your birthday party means more cake for you. Follow me for more life hacks.

Trending via Twitch:

Turning regret into ulcers since the day I was born.

Just shared via Twitch:

I can’t wait til I have hearing aids, so I can just turn them off when I’m tired of hearing everyone.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Everybody loves that comfort food until you end up with that comfort body.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

A couple of birds are outside fighting. Wait. They’ve quieted down. There’s a third bird. I think he may be their therapist.

Seen just now on Reddit:

If you innocently act like you don’t know, people will explain dirty words to you and it’s hilarious.

Making waves on TikTok:

The sexual tension between me and a late afternoon coffee to get me through the workday.

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Funny wounds quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

782 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,944

Funny Quotes Topics

13,916

Funny Quotes Images

10,944

Updated

7 minutes ago

Users Online

3,422

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Love triangle? You mean this Dorito?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

If my cats are going to insist upon me getting up early, they’re going to have to learn how to make coffee.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Downloading the Titanic soundtrack. It’s syncing right now.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Don’t ever forget where you came from. That’s where you left your car.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

No, I’m not “dating anyone.” I’m really busy playing outside.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Sorry I didn’t text you back, I was pretending I didn’t see it and ended up actually forgetting.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Gnocchi: The small, chubby children of spaghetti and potatoes.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

I don’t get it when people say they are only a “little” angry, I am either not mad or will kill you.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

I don’t mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Be the reason someone smiles today. Or blocks you. Whatever.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Children are so giving. For example, my kids gave me a cold.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I am thinking of watching a movie with my boyfriend. Can anyone recommend a good boyfriend?

Just shared via Threads:

I hope this email kills us both.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I’d imagine the sound of clowns having sex would just be a cacophony of bicycle horns.

Trending via WeChat:

Parents will give you a lecture about fake friends and then get scammed by their own siblings.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Inventor of pink lemonade: yes, exactly the same, but cute and for the girls.

Trending via WeChat:

Everybody say a little prayer for my husband, he just told me to calm down.

Making waves on WeChat:

If alcohol damages your short-term memory, imagine what alcohol can do.

Trending via LinkedIn:

That uncontrollable urge to hurt myself and others when a film’s subtitles are slightly out of sync.

Spreading quickly via X:

I was talking to someone and combined “all good” and “no worries” by saying “all worries”, which was a lot more accurate.

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