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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

At this point, if I get picked up by aliens, I’m just gonna go ahead and consider it a rescue mission instead of an abduction.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

British people be like “It’s Chewsday, innit?”

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Good morning. Does anyone know what is right and what is wrong?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

At my age, I see no good reason to act my age.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

We are all just prisoners here of our phone device.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Parents saying “I know my child” will forever be the funniest joke.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Back in my day, we had to walk to the TV to change the channel. Uphill, both ways!

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

About 40 muscles are activated when you eat just one donut. Follow me for more fitness advice.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

My mood is currently on “shuffle”.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

I am so full of love and anger, like a lava lamp.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,331

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

Scrolling should count as cardio.

Just landed via Messenger:

Human interaction is a great way to learn all the new swear words your subconscious mind has come up with in the lab.

Live now on Twitch:

“Made with love,” means I licked the spoon and kept using it.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Me every time I wake up: Oh no, not again!

Freshly posted on X:

“God has a plan for you.” OK, is God open to a little feedback?

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Someone at work just farted and I panicked and said ‘compliments to the chef’.

Seen just now on Threads:

We really do need a separate grocery store for people who’ve been on Earth before.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

He just walked right into my heart and switched on the lights.

Spotted on Slack:

The divorce process is easier than breaking up with your hair stylist.

Making waves on Facebook:

“PTO” stands for “prepare the others” because you’re not gonna be there.

Funny zen quotes

Funny zen quotes bring a lighthearted twist to mindfulness and calm 😌✨, proving that finding inner peace doesn’t have to be serious all the time! Whether you’re seeking a chuckle 😂 or a clever perspective 🧘‍♂️, these witty gems will brighten your day and make zen practice feel refreshingly fun. Ready to laugh your way to enlightenment? Let’s dive into some playful wisdom! 🌟🦄

New funny zen quotes 👇

All funny zen quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on Slack this month:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please make it study.

49 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sorry, I’m poor, I can’t afford to pay attention.

44 shares on Messenger this month:

God: “You’re all really bad at this.”

61 shares on TikTok this month:

When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.

44 shares on LinkedIn this month:

May he drop his phone on his face while he’s texting other girls.

39 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Can I sell my feelings on ebay, I don’t want them anymore.

40 shares on Discord this month:

The zero likes won’t stop me from posting. I will talk to myself if I have to.

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My husband threw away a perfectly good box as if we might not need it in 20 years.

91 shares on Pinterest this month:

Awkwardly stares into the abyss in between meetings.

46 shares on TikTok this month:

I can clean the whole house if I want to, but if someone asks me to do it, suddenly I’m lazy.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Accidentally said “normal” when they asked what milk I wanted at the leftist cafe.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Just paid my bills. The only thing left on my card is my name and expiration date.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Going to ragebait men by asking, “Do you ever wish you were tall?”

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Online shopping gives me a reason to live for another 3-5 business days.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Lego bricks are classic educational toys. You step on them once and you can do ballet.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

You may think no one is there for you, but there’s laundry. Laundry is always there for you.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I read somewhere that playing white noise helps you sleep better, but I didn’t find country music helpful at all.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The longer you go without something, the more comfortable you become without it. That goes for people, too.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

D was probably like “lmao ok” when they named the alphabet the ABCs

5 folks are currently checking 👀

80% of Americans just want to put on sunglasses and say, ‘Let’s do this.’

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,400

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Getting old is not fun. Sometimes I have to check my texts and photos when someone asks me what I did yesterday.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Being sleepy all day is just part of who I am.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

A lot of men actually do forgive cheating, as long as their homies don’t know.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

I would like to be reincarnated as less tired.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Guys only want one thing and it’s my grandmother’s meatball recipe.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

It’s important to get out of the house every once in a while to get excited about going home.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Got fired from my job at the zoo because I kept trying to wax the turtles.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Making things weird is probably the only thing I’m good at.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

These aliens are taking forever.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Vatican City should be called Popenhagen.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

Every time I spend my own money, I feel like somebody needs to reimburse me.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Enjoy your 30s, because in your 40s, your first check engine lights come on.

Shared recently on Instagram:

January 1st: anything is possible. January 2nd: but not today.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I love my bodyguard. I would take a bullet for him.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Accidentally made eye contact with the sweets at the grocery store and now have to declare bankruptcy.

Just shared via Slack:

“You’re an adult, maybe it’s time to stop fighting with people on the internet.”

Trending via X:

I don’t always say something stupid. But when I do, I keep talking and make it worse.

Going bananas on Threads:

If you don’t have anything nice to say, sign up for Twitter.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Seriously? I came out of hibernation for this?

Going viral on Instagram:

You’re always bitching about your alarm clock, but put yourself in his shoes. The first thing he sees in the morning is your face.

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