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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

I live in my own little world. But it’s ok, they know me here.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Online shopping gives me a reason to live for another 3-5 business days.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Going to the beach the day after watching Jaws hits different.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

“You should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

As a student, the most comforting words you’ll ever hear are “I haven’t started either.”

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

You can tell me what you want, but alcohol and eye contact are a dangerous combination.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Self-help books are brain rot. Return to fiction.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Do you all introverts ever open a text and think, ‘I’ll reply when I have the energy,’ and then it’s three weeks, and you have to live with the guilt of being a horrible friend.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

I’m not calling anyone daddy unless I’m asking for money for the mall.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

He thinks I’m so smart because I read books. Baby, they is FAWKING in these books.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,676

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Reddit:

“Treat yourself. You deserve it,” she says while adding the shoes to her cart.

Trending via WeChat:

Pasta is something I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Really just want to meet someone who knows what songs not to talk over.

Going bananas on WeChat:

No one talks about how uncomfortable it is to ask for your own money back.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Excited for my husband to get back from his trip, so I can sit him down for a little presentation of all the internet videos I saved for him to watch.

Trending via Reddit:

People in their 20s be like, “This is my emotional support master’s degree.”

Seen just now on Discord:

Soccer: I love when they hold up the sign and a brand new, beautiful boy takes the place of a dirty, sweaty, ruined one.

Just landed via Pinterest:

If you respond to my sarcasm with better sarcasm, then I might just catch feelings.

Making waves on X:

The real body count is how many people are in therapy because of you.

Going bananas on X:

Never trust a wet fart.

My goal in life is to not have to commit seppuku.

Humorous text about avoiding extreme life commitments with a playful twist.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Seppuku? Ain't nobody got time for that! 🙅‍♂️ Let's aim for a life goal that doesn't involve sharp objects or ceremonial self-disembowelment, shall we? 😂 #GoalsWithoutGore"

, , , , , ,

Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on Reddit this month:

I need someone to peer pressure me into doing things.

80 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Someone is probably in the worst argument of their life right now. LOL!

99 shares on Messenger this month:

Got so emotional thinking about the Toy Story aliens. They have each other.

51 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t think you all understand. If Taylor Swift didn’t have a private jet, she’d be Taylor Slow.

57 shares on TikTok this month:

Women do not snore. The sound they make at night is just the rewinding of the vocal cords.

73 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m one of those lucky people that can eat whatever they want and not put on any clothes.

35 shares on Slack this month:

Science has enough bodies, I’m donating mine to English lit just to spice things up a bit.

46 shares on Discord this month:

Probably the worst thing about the death of print media is the devastating effect it’s having on the producers of traditional ransom notes.

43 shares on Facebook this month:

If a vegetarian who eats fish is a pescatarian, is a vegetarian who eats chicken called a poultrygeist?

53 shares on WeChat this month:

Sometimes I want to go back in time and punch myself in the face.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Anyone who deals with customers on a professional basis should be allowed to hand out one face slap per day.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

At my age I don’t sleep, I nap between pee breaks.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If at first you don’t succeed, that’s so embarrassing. Why are you so bad at this?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Cowboy outfits should be called ranch dressing.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I had the most impatient and rudest cashier. I’m never using self-checkout again.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Yogurts should come in a five-pack, not a four-pack, or make the workweek four days.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I always bring a glass of water to bed with me so I have something to knock over in the middle of the night.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

There must be an invisible mechanism on my book. Every time I open it, my husband starts trying to talk to me.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Travelling through the US by car is beautiful because you feel like a blood cell in a very sick man’s body.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,483

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Wouldn’t it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer and come out wrinkle free?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

When people say I don’t mean to brag, they’re bragging about not bragging.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Ruined a Ferrari guy’s day today by telling him that I loved his Corvette.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

You don’t need to leave a message in a bottle. If the bottle is full of tequila, I’ll get the message.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Opposites often not only attract each other, they often also undress each other.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

The ugliest version of me is the version that comes out when I play board games. I don’t know who she is, but she is a monster. She is not fit for human interaction.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

All the wrong decisions in this country are based on the fact that my balcony faces out the back and so I can’t speak to the people.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Introverts don’t recharge with sleep, we recharge by being left completely alone for 3–5 business days.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Establish dominance at work by drinking iced tea in a wine glass.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Not really into dating right now, but very into flirting, and that’s where things get complicated.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

Festival is when you pay a fortune to live like a homeless person.

Trending via WeChat:

I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.

Trending via Facebook:

The main problem is that far too many people have far too easy access to podcast equipment.

Going viral on Messenger:

Are you telling me these billionaires don’t have my best interests at heart?!

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Post-standing clarity is like, damn, I could have been sitting this whole time.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Pilot is one of the few jobs where you can get fired for going above and beyond.

Spotted on WeChat:

Parenting sometimes feels like you’re an elevator. Lots of ups and downs and the kids love to push your buttons.

Going bananas on YouTube:

If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.

Seen just now on X:

I think it’s time we acknowledged how incredibly stupid most super wealthy people are.

Just landed via Messenger:

A fun wedding bit is to sit next to a random guest, point to the bride or groom & whisper, “it should’ve been you”

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