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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Being a parent means hearing a noise at 3 a.m. and hoping it’s just a ghost and not your toddler getting up again.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Friends with benefits, but it’s just that they make delicious baked goods.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

One thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m dumb.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Maybe your baby is crying because he knows you don’t have rizz.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Getting a girlfriend is actually very easy, you just have to spin a basketball on your finger.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

I am at the age where I question throwing away a box because, “It’s a really nice box.”

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

In my 20’s: might hit the club tonight. In my 40’s: might go to the grocery store to listen to some bangers.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Spice up your work day by drinking your coffee from a flask.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Sorry I’m late, traffic is exactly how it’s been every day for the past couple years, and I was not expecting that.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Enjoy it now because you’re only going to get older and fatter.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,288

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

One day I will start learning from my mistakes. Today is not that day. Tomorrow isn’t looking so good either.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

You hit a couple of curbs, take out a trash can and all of a sudden it’s “you can’t drive”.

Seen just now on X:

My summer body is just my winter body with better lighting.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Welcome to your 50s. You used to be a lot taller.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I’m at that point on a Monday where no.

Just shared via TikTok:

Have your guardian angel call my guardian angel.

Live now on Snapchat:

Roses are red, tacos are delicious. I use paper plates, ’cause I hate doing dishes.

Spotted on Discord:

I feel like I’ve skipped the whole ‘go out and have fun’ stage and went straight to being an 80-year-old woman.

Shared recently on Messenger:

If I wore a mood ring, it would probably explode immediately.

Going viral on Pinterest:

You can’t get a good night’s sleep anymore because of woke.

Netflix had enough cash to buy Warner Bros., but cried poor when we shared passwords with our mom.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
If Netflix had its way, they'd charge each of my personalities for their own subscription 😂🍿💸

bros., buy, buyout, cash, corporate, corporate buyout, enough, entertainment, family, irony, mom, Netflix, password, password sharing, passwords, poor, service, shared, sharing, streaming, streaming service, warner, Warner Bros.

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

No haunted houses for me this year. If I wanna be frightened, I’ll just look at my 401k.

0

2 months ago

401k, adulting, fear, financial, financial planning, fright, haunted, haunted house, house, humor, just, planning, year
You can’t tell me there’s anything better than earplugs; I simply will not hear it.

0

2 months ago

anything, better, cancellation, ear, ear protection, earplugs, hear, hearing, humor, i, me, noise, noise cancellation, protection, sarcasm, simply, stubbornness, tell
Crying while wearing a backpack has unlocked a new level of humiliation I did not know was possible.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, backpack, crying, embarrassment, funny moment, humiliation, humor, i, know, level, life, moment, new, relatable, school, school life, while
He took my last fry, your honor.

0

2 months ago

court, food, fry, honor, humor, last, snack, theft
My mirror needs a screenshot button.

0

2 months ago

button, humor, mirror, needs, reflection, screenshot, self-image, technology, vanity
I’m not like other girls. I don’t have a podcast.

0

2 months ago

girl, girls, humor, i, individuality, media, podcast, social, social media, stereotypes

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on WeChat this month:

Don’t talk to me unless you are a ham sandwich.

66 shares on Telegram this month:

Why is 4-8 p.m. on a Sunday the most depressing time ever?

16 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t have a yoga mat, but I have a Twister mat, and it’s the same thing.

44 shares on Messenger this month:

If I say “with all due respect,” nothing respectful is about to come out of my mouth.

69 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t need your flipping advice, I am capable of ruining my life on my own.

31 shares on TikTok this month:

Uber drivers have secret access to a streaming service of exclusively the worst music you’ve ever heard.

43 shares on X this month:

No matter how sad you are, there is some form of potato that can make it better.

85 shares on Twitch this month:

The most attractive thing a man can do is hitting his own head and repeating “stupid, stupid, stupid”.

54 shares on Telegram this month:

You can just enjoy kombucha. You don’t need to go on a tirade about cleansing your gut.

96 shares on Messenger this month:

Asking Santa Claus for nudes.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

“She’s so self-centered”—who’s supposed to be the center of my life? You?

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Whoever first said, “It gets to a point,” was definitely at that point, and I feel them deeply.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

I can do anything, as long as there’s a looming deadline and serious consequences.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

I still can’t believe Aldi sells shopping carts for 25 cents. I’ve got 8 of them now and don’t really even have a use for them, it was just too good of a deal to pass up.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

To be gentle in this world is an act of rebellion.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

A pet resting their little paw on you is a sign of respect in their culture.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

89% of the time when my husband tells me I look great, what he really means is, “We needed to leave five minutes ago.”

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

This meeting could have been a cake.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Let’s build a fort with blankets and pillows, and just stay in it all day.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Terrifying if taken literally—if these walls could talk.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

A good way to get out of a conversation is to take off one of your socks and hand it to the person talking.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I bet my soulmate is out there somewhere pretending everything is fine.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I want this laziness removed from my body.

Live now on Discord:

For a long time, I didn’t know what to do with my strange thoughts. Then I signed up for Facebook.

Going bananas on Slack:

You were promised to me 3,000 years ago.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Every time my neighbors start moaning, I pause my music to rate the performance.

Spotted on Facebook:

Some call it flirting… I call it just being extra nice to someone who is extra attractive…

Making waves on TikTok:

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My legs for always supporting me. And my fingers because I can always count on them.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Lost my Thesaurus. Gutted. Really gutted. Like absolutely gutted.

Shared recently on Threads:

If craziness could fly, some people would have their own airport.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Netflix had enough cash to buy Warner Bros., but cried poor when we shared passwords with our mom.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

No haunted houses for me this year. If I wanna be frightened, I’ll just look at my 401k.

You can’t tell me there’s anything better than earplugs; I simply will not hear it.

Crying while wearing a backpack has unlocked a new level of humiliation I did not know was possible.

He took my last fry, your honor.

My mirror needs a screenshot button.

I’m not like other girls. I don’t have a podcast.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨