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Finally laying down is the ultimate adventure—no passport required! 🛌😂
What kind of psychopath wants to be the life of the party?
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When you're the life of the party but just want to be the snack table's bodyguard instead! 🥳🕵️♂️🍕
Shutting up is gluten-free. Maybe add that to your diet, princess.
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What a deliciously silent idea! 🥐🚫🤐👸
If you see this, straighten your back, you banana-shaped mess.
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Straightening my back is the closest I'll get to doing yoga today! 🍌🧘♂️
Girl math is deactivating social media accounts to avoid only one person.
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When you use girl math to ghost someone in the most dramatic way possible 😂📉 #SocialMediaVanish
Thanks to social media, you can now meet weirdos from the comfort of your own home.
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Meeting weirdos from my couch: the future is now! 🛋️🤪📱
I don’t know when people started calling hot dogs ‘glizzys,’ but I hate it, and you all need to stop immediately.
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Who knew hot dogs had a secret rap name? 🌭🎤 Please, let's not turn them into urban legends. 😂
We should bring gargoyles back, more buildings need freaky little guys on them.
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Can't wait for the next architectural trend: spooky rooftop roommates! 🏰👹
I must retire to my chambers about this.
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Isn't that just a fancy way of saying 'I'm going to my blanket fort'? 🏰🛌🤣
Unfortunately for the both of us, I really like you.
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Well, looks like we're both stuck in the "like" trap! 😅❤️