Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

It’s funny how people without pizzas in their hands actually think I’ll answer my door.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Don’t be boring. Create the gossip you would like to hear.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Love crawling into bed like it’s a spa retreat, only to wake up like I survived a bar fight.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

If you’ve never had a cheeseburger change your mood, you’ve never had a cheeseburger.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

That awkward moment when you try something on in a shop but you don’t know if you can get it off again.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

I need someone to wring out my brain like a dishrag.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Just so you know, it’s almost impossible to drink coffee while laying down.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

If a beer is 8 bucks, it’s a show. If a beer is 14 bucks, it’s a concert.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

I’m not alone. I have ants.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

I’m sick of diarrhea. I want to livarrhea.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,236

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

My cats won’t talk to me because I came home late from work.

Live now on X:

I don’t wish anyone strife in their relationship but I do wish my neighbors would enunciate a little more when they fight so I can hear better.

Breaking via Snapchat:

You can’t spell crypto without “cry”.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Men only have money the first month of dating, that’s recruitment budget, never confuse it with operational budget.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I aspire to be a stay-at-home mom with no kids.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Your soulmate wouldn’t do you like that, by the way.

Just shared via Slack:

Twitter is basically everyone’s therapist’s couch.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Saying “sounds good to me” in a meeting then quickly realizing a lot more was expected from you.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Not enough rap songs about stores suddenly changing their layout.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Why are plane tickets so expensive? You’re going that way anyway, just give me a ride.

Please twerk; I have just days left.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When your last wish is to witness some legendary twerking! 😅💃🕺 #BucketListGoals"

activity, days, deadline, fun, fun activity, humor, i, just, left, please, twerk, urgency

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.

0

2 months ago

awesomeness, back, confidence, humor, i, intimidate, personality, self-deprecation, shy
What part of “I don’t want to spend any more money” don’t I understand?

0

2 months ago

budget, debt, finance, financial, financial struggle, frustration, humor, i, money, personal, personal finance, self-control, shopping, spend, spending, struggle, understand, want
When I was in elementary school, we learned about a shape called a rhombus, and that was the last time I ever heard about that shape ever again.

0

2 months ago

again, education, elementary, ever, geometry, humor, i, last, memory, rhombus, school, shape, time
I’m opening a secret ice cream club called The Inside Scoop.

0

2 months ago

activity, club, cream, dessert, humor, ice, ice cream, inside, scoop, secret, secret club, social, social activity, surprise
I’m so smart, I got rid of cable and now I only have $638 in monthly streaming services.

0

2 months ago

cable, humor, i, money, monthly, only, rid, services, smart, streaming
“Stop overthinking.” Oh, wow. Hadn’t considered that. Solved.

0

2 months ago

advice, humor, irony, mindset, oh, overthinking, problem, problem-solving, sarcasm, solving, stop

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on X this month:

Never forget that your fave celebs were trying to sell you cartoon monkey pictures during a pandemic.

27 shares on Instagram this month:

Take me down to the Moria city, where the girls are green and the boys are stinky… and even Gandalf said ‘Nope, too freaky!’

76 shares on YouTube this month:

Establish dominance by showing up with all your childhood trophies.

80 shares on Twitch this month:

Kids these days are soft. I’m pretty sure I died once when I was 7, and my mom made me walk it off.

58 shares on Discord this month:

I have a complicated relationship with push/pull doors.

61 shares on Instagram this month:

You are the wind beneath my overly sensitive, motion-activated floodlight.

67 shares on WhatsApp this month:

They should invent something in between coffee and narcotics.

85 shares on X this month:

Donating blood today to make room for more food.

70 shares on Reddit this month:

Ludacris once said “If you ain’t got no money take yo’ broke ass home” and I haven’t left the house since.

35 shares on WeChat this month:

Just found out that rock bottom has a basement.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

When buying presents I like to think, what would Jesus have got you? So yeah, enjoy your fish sandwich.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Spell your crush’s name backwards, mine is yenom.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Theo Von’s entire life is like a raccoon that visits New York City.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Much like a candle, I was tall when I was young, but I get shorter as I grow old.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Pretty messed up that my body, a chemistry lab made of meat, simply chooses to make me feel a little bit nervous for no reason.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Mr. Mixed Signals decided he likes me today.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

I hate it when I’m gossiping at work and a customer wants to be served. How rude is that?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

The only difference between hungry and horny is where you insert the cucumber.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And the haters? They were right. They were correct. They even nailed the small details, frankly it’s amazing.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Driving behind a salt truck on a snowy day is a Midwest police escort.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

I’ve had two glasses of wine and responded with “Omgggg congrats, sweet girl” on an engagement post of someone I haven’t spoken to in 5 years.

Going viral on TikTok:

We’re all in the billionaire submarine now.

Trending via Telegram:

When I quit my job I’m setting one last OOO message that just says “your email will never find me again”

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I can’t believe I used to think I was stressed in high school.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Sometimes being alive feels like being a pornstar who is asexual.

Making waves on Messenger:

Good morning to everyone except my baby, who already said good morning to me at 1 a.m., 3 a.m., and 5:46 a.m.

Making waves on Reddit:

Spotify Wrapped, but for all your bad decisions this year.

Trending via TikTok:

New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

Just landed via TikTok:

ROMO (relief of missing out)

Going bananas on Telegram:

Once your parents move from “What time are you coming back” to “Are you coming back today,” you have won the war.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Please twerk; I have just days left.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.

What part of “I don’t want to spend any more money” don’t I understand?

When I was in elementary school, we learned about a shape called a rhombus, and that was the last time I ever heard about that shape ever again.

I’m opening a secret ice cream club called The Inside Scoop.

I’m so smart, I got rid of cable and now I only have $638 in monthly streaming services.

“Stop overthinking.” Oh, wow. Hadn’t considered that. Solved.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨