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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

My wife just pulled me into the other room, and I thought she wanted to have a serious talk, but she just wanted to give me M&M’s without the kids seeing.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

My favorite hobby is withering away.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

My body is a machine that turns traumatic experiences into 10 likes on X.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Clicking on a suspicious link at work just to feel something.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Tuesday is just another Monday, but reheated.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

How do you know I’m not just a figment of your imagination?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

American homes are so strange because, why is your front door in the living room?

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Delete a letter of his name from your contacts every time he makes you upset. When his name’s gone, he’s gone. Hangman that boy.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

All these years on the internet we have been working for artificial intelligence.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

My running speed is very slow because the Discman wasn’t allowed to shake in the past.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

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17,765

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15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,541

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

“There’s a particular type of insufferability that rich people from poor countries have, that I don’t yet fully know how to verbalize.”

Just shared via WeChat:

You can have kids or you can always know where your scissors are. You can’t have both.

Shared recently on Facebook:

The females who don’t go through phones will definitely find out through dreams.

Going viral on Threads:

Seems like paleontologists always have a bone to pick.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

It’s like no one in my family appreciates that I stayed up all night overthinking for them.

Just landed via Slack:

Caught my son chewing on electrical wires. So, I grounded him. He’s doing better currently and conducting himself properly.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

You ever wake up from your dreams impressed? Like, damn, that narrative structure was phenomenal.

Making waves on Facebook:

Gonna break into your house, toast all your bread and put it back in the bag.

Making waves on Instagram:

When you’re late for work, you gotta walk in fast and act like you’re mad.

Going viral on Telegram:

My acting reel includes clips of me “listening” during Zoom meetings.

Sometimes I’m just so exhausted I have to go to bed and scroll my phone for the next 2-3 hours.

2 months ago

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Ah, the classic bedtime routine: close eyes, open apps! 😴📱📚

addiction, bed, bedtime, digital, digital addiction, exhausted, exhaustion, fatigue, hours, humor, i, just, late, late night, next, night, phone, phone scrolling, procrastination, relatable, relaxation, scroll, scrolling, sometimes

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94 shares on Slack this month:

Accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to pull my blanket up, and if that doesn’t accurately describe my life, I don’t know what does.

85 shares on TikTok this month:

My reality check bounced, guess I’ll have to stay insane for the time being.

61 shares on Discord this month:

As you get older you become all of the seven dwarfs.

10 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t trust anyone who gets enraged over messed-up fast food orders.

42 shares on Telegram this month:

The words I can’t wait to hear someday, “I’m sorry, Mom, you were right about everything.”

51 shares on Pinterest this month:

I wish I were a wild horse in Kazakhstan. That would fix everything.

65 shares on YouTube this month:

If you can’t handle me while I’m broke, then you don’t deserve me when I have $600.

48 shares on Telegram this month:

Babe, is everything OK? You’ve barely accomplished anything at all in your entire life.

42 shares on Discord this month:

Nothing guarantees running into someone you know in public better than looking like a feral animal on two hours of sleep.

42 shares on Reddit this month:

My kids practically have medical degrees they’re at the nurse so much.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

I respect the moon because it controls three of our most precious entities: oceans, wolves & women.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

How do I get one of those fake corporate jobs where I work remotely, get paid for responding to one email a day, and have a laptop on with Outlook or whatever open?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Imagine not sighing when you think about your life.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Being the forward-thinking person I am, I kept my winter fat through the summer.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Kinda sucks that I actually own a skeleton but don’t get to show anyone until I die.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

I love you to the refrigerator and back.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Sorry, I wasn’t really listening but that’s awesome, unless it isn’t of course.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Sometimes I’m just so exhausted I have to go to bed and scroll my phone for the next 2-3 hours.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

You spend so long trying to think of a name for your cat only to end up calling them “for god’s sake” and “please stop”.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

If lying was a job some people would be billionaires.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Anyone know how to grow a money tree?

Shared recently on YouTube:

If you ever see me running, it’s either away from my problems or towards an ice cream van.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Potato chips ARE vegetables! I exclaim as I tear open the third bag.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Boyfriends sound cool and all, but unfortunately, I enjoy not talking for days at a time.

Making waves on Facebook:

“Unavailable” is my favorite state to be in.

Live now on Messenger:

“Be the bigger person” sounds too much like “accept the disrespect”.

Spotted on TikTok:

Normalize asking if this is an intervention whenever someone invites you over.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

People always ask me why there’s a chair in my shower. Who the hell eats breakfast standing up?

Breaking via Telegram:

Making art is making love to the world.

Trending via Threads:

I would pay extra for a dental hygienist who was comfortable with silence.

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Activity Log ✨

Sometimes I’m just so exhausted I have to go to bed and scroll my phone for the next 2-3 hours.

Some people are like wallpaper… same pattern repeating every time.

Rappers be making you feel guilty for no reason at all: “You was in the house eating dinner while I was in the streets hungry”. Like my fault, bro.

I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.

Male barista called me “my love” yesterday and didn’t say it today… getting mixed signals and feeling really upset.

I can’t believe she picked her husband, her boyfriend and her other boyfriend over me.

I don’t know why doctors only give stickers to kids? Like, hello, I was also brave today.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sometimes I’m just so exhausted I have to go to bed and scroll my phone for the next 2-3 hours.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Some people are like wallpaper… same pattern repeating every time.

Rappers be making you feel guilty for no reason at all: “You was in the house eating dinner while I was in the streets hungry”. Like my fault, bro.

I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.

Male barista called me “my love” yesterday and didn’t say it today… getting mixed signals and feeling really upset.

I can’t believe she picked her husband, her boyfriend and her other boyfriend over me.

I don’t know why doctors only give stickers to kids? Like, hello, I was also brave today.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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