The next time someone texts me “we need to talk,” I’ll reply, “Yes, we really need to talk,” so that I won’t be the only one stressing.

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

Deciding if I should heal or just give up and go completely insane.

62 shares on Messenger this month:

After smartphones, we never got pictures of Bigfoot anymore. You know why? That’s right: 5G killed all the Bigfoots.

44 shares on Messenger this month:

Shoutout to all ladies dating silently without making noise on social media. May God give you another man as a bonus.

54 shares on Telegram this month:

Cats spend two-thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.

89 shares on Instagram this month:

There’s nothing like sitting by an open fire and watching the evidence burn.

18 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t care what other people think of me, at least mosquitoes find me attractive.

54 shares on Threads this month:

Edging my house plants by putting them next to the window when it rains.

75 shares on Facebook this month:

I actually think it’s quite beautiful that you have to be the one to save yourself.

46 shares on Telegram this month:

My favorite thing to do at the gym is stay home and eat a piece of cake.

43 shares on Twitch this month:

Your soul is out of balance because you have fallen out of touch with your consumer demographic. Pay more attention to your personalized ads, let them flow through you.