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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, “Don’t text and drive.”

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Went to an antique show and people started bidding on me.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Hey man, just wanted to reach out and say I loved how much you drank at my wedding last night.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

I like warm weather but only to a certain degree.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

I am very depressed and in a really bad mood. Perhaps it will get better if I sit inside on a beautiful day and dwell compulsively.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

The term “bisexual” is so confusing. Are you sexual twice a week or once every other week?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Sorry, I can’t go out this weekend. I went out last weekend, and I’m still recovering from that.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

“Unavailable” is my favorite state to be in.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Work meetings would be a lot more fun if they took place in a giant IKEA ball pit.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

I’ve been doing Dry January, but it’s literally just been my lips and skin.

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Updated

Jan 20, 2026

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Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

Sometimes I delay my haircut intentionally to look rugged just to make that glow-up more iconic.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

None of this matters and we are all going to die. Have a great weekend!

Making waves on TikTok:

Do you ever stress about money, then accidentally order from Amazon?

Live now on TikTok:

The amount of water you actually need to drink to be hydrated is so obscene. Who does this body think it is? A data center?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Remember when you were a kid, you slept on the couch and without saying anything you found yourself in your bed. Now you sleep in your bed and if you say anything, you end up on the couch.

Going viral on TikTok:

Someone at work just farted and I panicked and said ‘compliments to the chef’.

Live now on Slack:

Liquor store clerk: “Do you need help?” Me: “Yes, but I decided to come here instead.”

Going bananas on Instagram:

Offering someone food, and secretly hoping, they don’t want it.

Trending via Facebook:

I told my GPS I needed direction in life, and now it insists on recalculating every hour.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Being on a diet isn’t so bad if you don’t follow it.

The next time someone texts me “we need to talk,” I’ll reply, “Yes, we really need to talk,” so that I won’t be the only one stressing.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
Adding "Let's talk about how much I love anxiety!" 😂📱💬

anxiety, communication, conversation, humor, i, interaction, me, message, need, next, only, reply, social, social interaction, someone, stress, talk, text, text message, texts, time, yes

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Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on Pinterest this month:

I be like “communication is the key” then put my phone on do not disturb.

76 shares on TikTok this month:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” I asked God to strike me dead with lightning.

88 shares on Telegram this month:

The worst is when it’s too late to take a nap but too early to go to bed.

29 shares on Pinterest this month:

“You live and you learn!” Bro, I don’t want to do either of those things.

60 shares on Twitch this month:

People found guilty of not using punctuation deserve the longest sentence possible.

15 shares on Threads this month:

Who called it a biological clock and not an egg timer?

98 shares on YouTube this month:

The fatigue is reaching levels that shouldn’t even be possible.

75 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ve just found my wide pants again. They weren’t gone at all, they’re just my tight pants now.

46 shares on Messenger this month:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I would love to see AI be unemployed.

21 shares on Reddit this month:

I swear people go to Starbucks and just say random words. “Lemme get a grande iced mocha no foam quad soy hexagon vortex hypothesis with steamed ice”.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

“You’re a cardiologist? Is that like a fancy name for an auto mechanic?”

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

AI won’t replace me because I’m already useless to society.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

My spirit animal is that bird that knocks itself unconscious flying into windows.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Once I get my UFO, don’t be asking me for rides.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Women always want to marry intelligent men. What they don’t know: Intelligent men don’t want to marry.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

I love when someone is like “I’m funny because I have trauma and it’s a coping mechanism” and it’s like “Okay, not to add to your trauma, but you’re not funny!”

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

When you’re over 40 and a part of your body starts hurting for no reason that is nature sending a “what ya doing?” text.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Hello taxi, off to Friday please. Money doesn’t matter!

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

(to the boys in the yard) I hope you brought your own milkshake.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Online shopping gives me a reason to live for another 3-5 business days.

Shared recently on Twitch:

For Halloween, I will be okay.

Just landed via X:

Whoever first said, “It gets to a point,” was definitely at that point, and I feel them deeply.

Just shared via Threads:

Before you just FaceTime me randomly, please don’t.

Just shared via Messenger:

Hey girl, are you an extraterrestrial? ’Cause your husband’s out here acting like you don’t exist.

Going bananas on Messenger:

If life was a video game, right now would be the time where I randomly press buttons because I don’t know what to do.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

The only downside to dating hot men is that when it ends, he’s still hot.

Going bananas on Slack:

Aliens: We are here to take over. Me: Thank God.

Making waves on Reddit:

Girls only want one thing, and it’s to be photographed candidly on 35mm film.

Shared recently on Slack:

What a time to be alive, it’s like the collapse of Rome, but with memes.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The next time someone texts me “we need to talk,” I’ll reply, “Yes, we really need to talk,” so that I won’t be the only one stressing.

Shutting up is gluten-free. Maybe add that to your diet, princess.

It may sound crazy but some of us are nice without hidden agendas.

Do you think Yoda says “7-6” instead?

I want a president who promises no jobs. I don’t want to have a job.

Egyptians did pretty well for a civilization that wrote entirely in emoji.

The most annoying child in our house is that of my mother-in-law.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The next time someone texts me “we need to talk,” I’ll reply, “Yes, we really need to talk,” so that I won’t be the only one stressing.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Shutting up is gluten-free. Maybe add that to your diet, princess.

It may sound crazy but some of us are nice without hidden agendas.

Do you think Yoda says “7-6” instead?

I want a president who promises no jobs. I don’t want to have a job.

Egyptians did pretty well for a civilization that wrote entirely in emoji.

The most annoying child in our house is that of my mother-in-law.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨