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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

They say time is the solution to every problem. I’ve been waiting for five hours already and the room is still messy.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Like, who are those little paper umbrellas trying to protect?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

I was in Paris with a boyfriend once and he lit a candle in Notre Dame in order to ask God to raise the price of Bitcoin.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

It’s unbelievable how much work goes into having a mid-physique and a relatively clean house.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

The zero likes won’t stop me from posting. I will talk to myself if I have to.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

What’s a positive thought for beginners? I’ve been getting into optimism lately.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Saying “shut up” before skipping the YouTube ad is literally necessary.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Men, it’s really simple. We want everything, but nothing, at the same time or different times, sometimes but not always.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Peer pressure has nothing on me; all my bad decisions are made single-handedly.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Dates are weird, like, okay I guess I’ll dress up for my romantic interview.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,456

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WeChat:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d put him in a snow globe and shake it really hard.

Just landed via X:

Getting my next boyfriend a flip phone. He doesn’t need anything more.

Seen just now on YouTube:

“There are lots of benefits to working here. We have fun social events and activities after work!” And what are the benefits?

Just shared via Pinterest:

At my age, I see no good reason to act my age.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Been telling everyone, “It’s been a good year for horses.” No idea whether that’s true or not, but they keep nodding like it makes a lot of sense.

Making waves on Twitch:

James Bond really accurately predicted that the biggest threat to life on Earth is super-rich businessmen, whose money didn’t make them happy, and now their hobby is destroying the world.

Spotted on Facebook:

Warning: This movie contains “Adult Themes” such as interest rates, bad knees, back pain, and excitement about going to bed early.

Going bananas on Discord:

Once you understand why pizza is made round, packed in square boxes, and eaten as a triangle, then you will understand women.

Spotted on YouTube:

I received a bank alert text for suspicious activity. I was buying fruit.

Going viral on TikTok:

Almost all of my bad decisions are food-related.

The older I get, the more I realize being in a hurry is a terrible way to live your life.

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Commentary:
Who knew that slowing down could be the fast track to happiness? 🚶‍♂️🍃🚫⏰

, , , , , , , , , ,

Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on Facebook this month:

Emotions? No thanks. I’m trying to cut down.

12 shares on Slack this month:

Apparently, “I just don’t want to” is not a valid reason when your boss asks you why you’re not coming in today.

50 shares on Messenger this month:

Lorebombing is when you make a new friend in your thirties and you have to catch each other up.

51 shares on TikTok this month:

It was me, I let the dogs out.

46 shares on LinkedIn this month:

In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place wieners and/or cheese slices in your pockets, so the search dogs will find you first.

56 shares on Threads this month:

Dollar Tree needs to just go ahead and rename it to A Couple Dollars.

25 shares on Facebook this month:

You’re not a knight in shining armor, you’re just a knob in Under Armour.

49 shares on Threads this month:

Please don’t ask me what my hobbies are, I lost interest in life back in 6th grade.

75 shares on WeChat this month:

Do I work hard? No. But do I work smart to compensate. Absolutely not.

72 shares on Telegram this month:

Trying to explain that I’m fascinated by Japan for wood joinery reasons and not nerd or pervert reasons.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Every homemade dinner counts as negative calories because of the exercise we get waving pillows at the smoke detectors.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Victor Frankenstein being only 23 years old when he made the monster is crazy to me, he should have been at the club.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

“It’s been a long week!” Me, on a Tuesday.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Hate all political parties and you’ll never be disappointed.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s a disconnect between the decibel level of my car singing and my talent.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

How is a plant not able to handle direct sunlight? You’re from outside.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

When I was a kid I would say I’m whatever age and a half because I wanted to be older. Now I say I turned 40 a few years ago.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t even know who’s famous anymore.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

To be happy as a man, you simply need to replace your screen time with beautiful women time.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Responding to any and all emails with ‘wow ok’

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,405

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

If I don’t reply, assume I opened your message, nodded, and then got distracted.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Unless it’s manic, I don’t want to hear about your Monday.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Are there any medium rappers? They’re always Big or Lil.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Dear brain, please stop thinking so much exactly when it’s time to fall asleep.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Toilets are not a crime scene, traces may be removed!

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

No, I’m not depressed. I’m sure there’s just something wrong with the planets or stars or something.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Need a professional way to say, “I do not care, don’t mention this to me again.”

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Screaming into the abyss has lost some of its effectiveness, if I’m being honest.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Me: Maybe it’s the weed talking but your apartment seems enormous. IKEA Manager: Sir.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Unfortunately, I don’t think before I speak, so l am just a shocked as you are.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Diabetes was the God of sugar.

Just landed via Twitch:

If Facebook has taught us anything it’s that a lot of people aren’t quite ready for a spelling bee.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Do you think birds, once they get older, start people-watching?

Seen just now on Slack:

I poked your tweet with a stick, hoping it would do something.

Trending via Instagram:

Getting money from the Tooth Fairy is a gateway drug to organ trafficking.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I’m a big fan of that post-laundry feeling when you’ve got all your A-list clothes back in the game.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Can someone please invent 8 hours between 9 p.m. and midnight?

Shared recently on Reddit:

Legos are too expensive nowadays. They should go back to costing as much as they did when my parents paid for them.

Making waves on Threads:

Showering at night is so sexy and clean and self-care vibes. Showering in the morning is so productivity core, cog in the machine core.

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