Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Just said “shitted feet” instead of “fitted sheet” in front of my my son and his friends. If you need me, I’ll be in the closet.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Some days you have breakfast for dinner and live life on your own terms.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Thank you for being friends with me. Baffling decision, but thank you.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

I actually think it’s quite beautiful that you have to be the one to save yourself.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

All day I think about sleep but when it’s time to go to bed I don’t wanna.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

How many times does one have to open the fridge door before cake appears inside?

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Whoever was the first to shorten “Richard” down to “Dick” must have really hated that guy.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

When you think about it, Jesus really accomplished a lot in the four months between Christmas and Easter.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Google Maps should start screaming the more wrong turns you make.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who turns every black shirt into an abstract deodorant mural.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,709

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

My problem is, I wanna be the only one at the gym when I go.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Parents be like “Boys are easier,” and then their daughter has to save the family from ruin.

Spotted on Threads:

Whenever you are feeling down, remember you’re the sperm that won.

Just shared via Telegram:

Your 20s are for trying soup, making new soups, and discussing soup or soup related topics.

Spotted on X:

I hate when people ask me, “What did you do today?” Like, buddy, listen, I woke up at noon and then it was five p.m., okay? I don’t know.

Shared recently on X:

There should be significant punishments for people at the grocery store with no spatial awareness.

Just shared via X:

I want a pet eagle that’s trained to steal people’s sandwiches for me.

Live now on Threads:

I’m a total go with the flow kinda person as long as the flow is meticulously scheduled well in advance and there are no mid-flow changes whatsoever.

Spotted on WeChat:

To all the people with grammatical issues, don’t worry, I also have problems with badly timed periods.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Why is 4-8 p.m. on a Sunday the most depressing time ever?

Why would a needle be in a haystack, anyway?

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Who knew hay had such sharp fashion sense? 🐴🧵😂

confusion, haystack, humor, irony, needle, question, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I was going to learn to play the violin, but it was too much of a commitment. I wanted something with no strings attached.

0

2 months ago

activity, attached, commitment, decision, fun, fun activity, going, humor, i, learn, music, no strings attached, play, something, strings, violin, wanted
“What’s something you’d tell your younger self?” You can have ice cream for dinner, nobody will stop you.

0

2 months ago

advice, cream, dinner, freedom, fun, ice, ice cream, indulgence, nobody, self, stop, tell, younger, younger self
Googling symptoms until you cry.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, cry, diagnosis, Googling, health, humor, internet, search, symptoms
Slipping into something more comfortable, another dimension.

0

4 months ago

alternate, alternate reality, another, comfortable, dimension, humor, reality, slip, slipping, something
If I’m too much, go find less. I’m not running a clearance sale.

0

1 month ago

attitude, boundary, clearance, confidence, dating, humor, independence, less, much, personality, relationship, running, sale, self-worth, too
One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to go back to work after a long weekend.

0

1 month ago

adult, after, back, blues, hardest, long weekend, Monday, Monday blues, motivation, office, productivity, returning, things, weekend, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on X this month:

Adult life sucks. Friends don’t even ask to see how fast you can run in your new shoes anymore.

66 shares on Snapchat this month:

My new coffee table book, “Accidental Screenshots,” is available for pre-order now.

35 shares on TikTok this month:

Instead of likes, we should get a little kiss.

100 shares on Pinterest this month:

My brain has too many tabs open and one of them is playing music I can’t find.

10 shares on Slack this month:

“Lmao” has survived and even thrived over the years, but its cousin “rofl” has faded into indignity. The cruelty of fate.

84 shares on Discord this month:

Spring is what we call the time in between complaining about the cold and complaining about the heat.

83 shares on Instagram this month:

I have no idea how people meet at the gym. I turn into a disgusting, angry swamp witch every time I exercise.

61 shares on TikTok this month:

My body cracks like a glow stick every time I move, but refuses to light up.

71 shares on Slack this month:

God: “You can’t just say ‘Goddammit!’ and expect Me to damn it. There’s a procedure. File the paperwork.”

33 shares on Instagram this month:

I named my wifi “The Promised LAN” because it always connects, but occasionally leaves you wandering in the desert looking for a better signal.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

They need to increase life expectancy so I can squeeze in another mid-life crisis.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

In retrospect, I guess “one drunken night of stupidity” isn’t the best response when a child asks you where babies come from.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

I don’t need to bring anything to a knife fight, because I don’t go to knife fights.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

The only thing you can count on with some people is that you can’t count on them.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, no, I shut it off and back on again. Why are you still here?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Me: Please let me sleep! Brain: Nope, we have to stay up together and go over every bad life decision we have made so far.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

I’m at an age now where I start sentences with “I’m at an age now.”

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

I met a microbiologist today. He was a lot bigger than I expected.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

January-me would not believe the life I lived this year.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

My husband refused to get glasses. But that was before he brushed his teeth with fake tan.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

Nudes are played out. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

Just landed via Telegram:

My wife and I are going to quit our jobs and travel until we run out of money. I estimate we’ll be home around 9 p.m. tonight.

Breaking via Facebook:

You say “multitask” like it’s a good thing.

Spotted on Facebook:

I don’t like this new trend of old people wearing shirts of bands I listened to when I was a kid.

Just shared via WeChat:

You’re an atheist? Well, I don’t believe you. See how you like it.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Checked myself, but unfortunately, after I wrecked myself.

Just landed via Instagram:

I love routine. Until I’m bored, then I love excitement. Until I’m overwhelmed, then I love routine.

Live now on Pinterest:

I need a break from me.

Just landed via Reddit:

I giggle before I go crazy. Gotta start my engine.

Spotted on Slack:

I was not meant to work a job; I was meant to lay down and ponder.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Why would a needle be in a haystack, anyway?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I was going to learn to play the violin, but it was too much of a commitment. I wanted something with no strings attached.

“What’s something you’d tell your younger self?” You can have ice cream for dinner, nobody will stop you.

Googling symptoms until you cry.

Slipping into something more comfortable, another dimension.

If I’m too much, go find less. I’m not running a clearance sale.

One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to go back to work after a long weekend.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨