Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Intro to salsa class was weird, I starved myself all day, there was no chips or dips and then these weirdos were all grabby and dancing around.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

I bought a 12 year old whiskey. His parents are furious.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Asking him what his favorite dinosaur is on the first date to determine compatibility.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

It’s cute when kids say what they want to be when they grow up. You’re gonna write emails on the computer, buddy.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Kinda in the mood to let my feelings impair my judgement.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Stores should accept “I bought this while depressed” as a valid reason for a return.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

How do I tell Instagram I don’t want to see guys almost eaten by gators?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Replying to all emails with “ya think?”.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Noam Chomsky sounds like the legal name of the very hungry caterpillar.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

People always say, “There’s plenty of fish in the sea” … yeah, but I’ve got my eye fixed on that specific, emotionally distant salmon who has commitment issues.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,507

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

Welcome to your 40s: you get tired from sleeping now.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

We need a word for that weird feeling you get when you learn what a podcaster looks like.

Live now on WhatsApp:

There are people who have a favourite colour, and there are people whose favourite colour is purple. These are very different things. Purple fans are different creatures.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Scrolling the feed as a mature person, not judging anybody.

Shared recently on X:

I don’t understand why people have to “get ready for bed.” I am always ready for bed.

Spotted on Threads:

I’m a Leo so I just eat the other astrological signs.

Making waves on X:

You come from dust and you will return to dust. That’s why I don’t dust. It could be someone I know.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

What is rizz if not swag persevering?!

Making waves on Telegram:

It’s only a family vacation if you think “We’re never doing this again” at least once.

Spotted on Instagram:

Loving her was my second biggest mistake. Not buying Bitcoins in 2010 still remains the first.

Achieving AGI by reducing the intelligence of the average human rather than increasing the intelligence of AI.

3 days ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like humans are bringing the average down, one failed CAPTCHA at a time! 🤖🔄🧠

AGI, AI, artificial, artificial intelligence, average, human, humor, intelligence, technology

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I realized being an adult is just feeling too tired to function, and then functioning.

0

2 months ago

adult, being, fatigue, feeling, function, functioning, humor, i, just, relatable, tired, tiredness, too
If you shouldn’t go food shopping when you’re hungry, then you should definitely not go clothes shopping when you’re naked. Trust me on this.

0

2 months ago

advice, clothes, experience, food, humor, hungry, me, naked, shopping, should, trust
I love the smell of freshly brewed delusions in the morning.

0

3 months ago

coffee, delusion, humor, i, love, morning, sarcasm, smell
Shazam but for random noises outside.

0

2 months ago

creativity, humor, noise, outside, random, random noise, Shazam, sound, superhero
Buying new glasses this week, so a whole bunch of you are about to get a whole lot uglier.

0

2 months ago

appearance, buying, change, glasses, humor, joke, new, ugly, week, whole
You look like you can go as yourself for Halloween.

0

2 months ago

appearance, comment, costume, funny comment, Halloween, humor, joke, self, yourself

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on X this month:

If I text you an accordion emoji, it means you better start acting accordingly.

94 shares on Reddit this month:

Spending 5 minutes looking up every word I want to use in a sentence to make sure I can define it in case they ask.

100 shares on Twitch this month:

Unless you fell off the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.

23 shares on Slack this month:

Definitely thought I’d be solving mysteries and unmasking ghosts in a van with a dog by this point in my life.

33 shares on Facebook this month:

You know you’re getting old when you and the grocery store have the same playlist.

66 shares on Reddit this month:

I am cool with January lasting forever because rent is due February 1.

42 shares on X this month:

I’m not old, I’m vintage.

46 shares on X this month:

I know that we aren’t supposed to self diagnose but I’ve googled all of my symptoms and I’m fairly sure I’m a raccoon.

94 shares on Twitch this month:

Rent really don’t make no sense. Like, why is my apartment getting a raise every year? Who is doing the performance review?

73 shares on Messenger this month:

There’s something so spiritual about new life. When I look my baby nephew in the eyes, I can’t stop thinking about how amazing it will be to connect with him on LinkedIn.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Whatever you do today, do it with the confidence of a 4-year old wearing a Batman cape.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

I’ll never be badass enough to walk around chewing on a toothpick.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

You could go camping or you could stay at home, not shower, leave dirt on the floor and let some squirrels in.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Y’all ever postpone an outfit? Like, nah, let me save this for a better day? Same.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

If the only person you’re competing with is yourself, how could you lose?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

My wife refuses to hire a housekeeper because she doesn’t want them to see this mess.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

My rock bottom keeps refreshing.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” is not a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

A DM? Flirt on the timeline like a real man.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

I hope the ghost of Michael Jackson Hee-Hee’s in your ear while you tryna sleep.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

I always carry a knife with me in case I run into someone with 10,000 spoons.

Just shared via Slack:

Forget pheromones, barbecue smells are always attractive.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Me, to the printer: “Hey, could you print this out for me?” Printer: “Sure, but first I’ll show you all the sounds I can make.”

Just shared via Telegram:

Anything can be a dating app if you aren’t a coward.

Making waves on TikTok:

Not a gold digger, but the other night a woman told me her grandpa owns a Christmas tree farm. That shit had me rubbing my hands like a fly.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

We all have that one coworker whose sole purpose is to reduce our life expectancy by ten years.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Fake laughing at work is mentally exhausting. Please just leave me alone.

Shared recently on YouTube:

We all have that person who insists on using a blanket on the couch, no matter the weather.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I’m just here to make you wish I wasn’t.

Just landed via WeChat:

Be nice today, the world is on fire.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Achieving AGI by reducing the intelligence of the average human rather than increasing the intelligence of AI.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I realized being an adult is just feeling too tired to function, and then functioning.

If you shouldn’t go food shopping when you’re hungry, then you should definitely not go clothes shopping when you’re naked. Trust me on this.

I love the smell of freshly brewed delusions in the morning.

Shazam but for random noises outside.

Buying new glasses this week, so a whole bunch of you are about to get a whole lot uglier.

You look like you can go as yourself for Halloween.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨