Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Don’t know how to explain this, but “hot honey” is the pickleball of condiments (derogatory).

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Kind of miraculous how much love can be summoned and how much your day can be improved by just looking at an animal and saying stuff in a weird voice.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Cloud 9 is a very high place to fall from.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

“You’re a cardiologist? Is that like a fancy name for an auto mechanic?”

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Hate when anxiety gives me stomach problems. Like, baby, you are supposed to be a mental disorder, please stay in your line.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Maybe dogs are smarter than us because they found a way to get fed and housed without having to go to college and get a job.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

I went to clean bathroom and I’m 99% sure my kids shoot their toothpaste out of a cannon.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

I’m at the age where the first thing I do when I get somewhere is look for a place to sit.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

No, I can’t tonight. I already have plans to look at my phone somewhere else.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,604

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

My mom asked me where I’m taking her to eat on Mother’s Day. I told her we have food at home.

Trending via Slack:

Some people peak in high school. I peaked when I realized I never had to see them again.

Trending via Pinterest:

Does my career know that I’m pursuing it, or is it another one-sided relationship?

Just landed via Reddit:

I hate commas. It’s not my job to tell you when you breathe. Work it out, you’re a grown adult.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

My superpower? I can look you dead in the face while you’re talking and not hear a damn word you said.

Freshly posted on Threads:

It’s that time of year again where I go to random restaurants to tell random women, “So this is why you cancelled our date?”, while they’re out with their significant others.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I see why grandmas used to cook dinner at 3 p.m. and sit down the rest of the day.

Live now on Discord:

The season is back when women are 80% scarf.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Brother: What are you bringing to Thanksgiving dinner? Me: Wine and unresolved issues. They pair nicely.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The golden rule of three beverages: one to hydrate, one to caffeinate, and one to celebrate.

“Are you getting your period?” God forbid I’m just evil.

3 months ago

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Commentary:
When your "evil plans" are mistaken for hormones 😂🔮🩸

attitude, evil, getting, God, humor, just, mood, period, sarcasm

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55 shares on Reddit this month:

Paid my rent and slept in every room of my house this week, kitchen and laundry room next.

100 shares on Discord this month:

The feelings I have for Tom Cruise are the closest approximation I have to what patriotism must feel like.

31 shares on X this month:

You are depressed because your ancestors fought, danced, and ate meals together, and you eat alone in the dark while staring at a glowing rectangle.

95 shares on Telegram this month:

It’s not a competition, but if it was I would win.

83 shares on Snapchat this month:

He was only called Mr. Pepper until he published his groundbreaking research on fizzics.

59 shares on Facebook this month:

Last night my guardian angel came to me, covered me up, gave me a kiss on the forehead and whispered in my ear: “You’re a pain in the ass!”

99 shares on Threads this month:

Tired of my landlord depending on my rent. Bro, get a job.

34 shares on TikTok this month:

“She’s so self-centered”—who’s supposed to be the center of my life? You?

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

The closest I have ever come to bungee jumping was when I was born.

26 shares on Instagram this month:

When they have a dream sequence in a movie, how do they film the person’s dream?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

There is no physiological reason to yell when you sneeze. People who do that are simply weak and rude.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Spotify Wrapped has a special talent for pulling up an artist I’ve literally never heard of and telling me I actually listen to them 2,000 times per day.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Don’t invite me if there’s nowhere to sit down.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Remember those days when you missed school and you’d check the time and think, “They’re eating right now.”

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

God, please — if you don’t want someone to love me, at least make me a millionaire.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Parents be like “don’t believe everything you see on the internet” then believe everything they see on Facebook.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Awake? You may be entitled to compensation.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Scrolling to your birth year is a humiliation ritual.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Twitter is like talking to yourself in public and some random dude walking by agrees with you.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

The evening news: Where they begin with “Good evening” and then proceed to tell you why it’s not.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Sometimes I apologize to my car when I hit a pothole.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Seems like the ‘how to use a fire extinguisher’ video on YouTube shouldn’t have a 30-second ad before it.

Just landed via Slack:

Can anyone recommend some good behaviors for someone who just started behaving?

Trending via WhatsApp:

Petition to lower the retirement age. I’m tired now.

Spotted on Threads:

The shrooms told me that we need to get our shit together. That humanity is a bundle of bad habits. I’m headed back in a few weeks, and they need a response from us. What do I tell them?

Live now on Discord:

“So if I had kids, my kids would never…” Spoiler: Yes, they would.

Freshly posted on Slack:

It’s perfectly normal if you want to watch an actor’s entire filmography because you find them attractive. Don’t let anyone stop you.

Spotted on Instagram:

Putting together a piece of furniture today, so my kids are about to learn swear words that haven’t even been invented yet.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Somebody should tell James Cameron the world doesn’t need any more frigging Avatar movies.

Trending via Twitch:

Someone from Facebook Marketplace is coming over to either buy the chairs I have for sale, or to murder me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“Are you getting your period?” God forbid I’m just evil.

The problem with people starts when we expect things from them, or have anything to do with them.

I always need to pee, but it’s just because my heart is so big it pushes on my bladder.

On a scale of quack to quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack, what do you think of my duck-based numbering system?

Learning to be Alpha from YouTube.

Wife asked if I could stop singing Wonderwall. I said maybe…

I love my cat, but I hope in her next life she’s reincarnated as the owner of a very whiny cat.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“Are you getting your period?” God forbid I’m just evil.

Keep the laugh going 😂

The problem with people starts when we expect things from them, or have anything to do with them.

I always need to pee, but it’s just because my heart is so big it pushes on my bladder.

On a scale of quack to quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack, what do you think of my duck-based numbering system?

Learning to be Alpha from YouTube.

Wife asked if I could stop singing Wonderwall. I said maybe…

I love my cat, but I hope in her next life she’s reincarnated as the owner of a very whiny cat.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨