Author Archives: slickboy

Anyone else get excited about going to bed because you know there’ll be coffee in the morning, or is that just me?

Commentary:
Espresso-ing my excitement for morning already! ☕😴✨

Who you are when someone reaches over to take food from your plate… is the real you.

Commentary:
Oh, so my true self is a protective food ninja! 🥷🍽️😂

Flirting is easy until it’s someone you actually like.

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When you like someone, flirting suddenly turns into a game of charades, and you're losing 🎭🙈

Therapy isn’t gonna cut it, I need vengeance.

Commentary:
Sounds like it's time to unleash your inner action hero! 😎🍿💥

Your Honor, that doesn’t sound like me.

Commentary:
This has my voice, but not my actions! Misunderstood superhero in disguise! 🦸‍♂️🗣️

The problem with expensive things is that you tend to want them.

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Budget be like: "I'm not a wish granter, I'm a reality slapper!" 💸😂

I have re-entered the Band of Brothers rewatch stage of male depression.

Commentary:
Entering the emotional trenches again, I see! 🍿🤣💔

“Devil’s advocate” implies the existence of heaven’s prosecutor.

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Wonder if heaven's prosecutor gets paid in good karma or just really nice hugs 😂👼⚖️

Either the tables are going to turn, or I’m going to flip them.

Commentary:
Sounds like someone's about to either redecorate or re-evaluate 🎲🪑😆

I be like, “I needed this,” and it’s just me getting drunk.

Commentary:
Drowning my responsibilities one drink at a time! 🍹😂