Commentary:
Following influencers like it's a full-time career 😅📱 #CertifiedInfluenced
Author Archives: slickboy
Don’t be coming into my house and causing big spikes of cortisol.
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Entering my house with drama levels on high? This isn't a soap opera audition! 😂🏡🚫📈
Is there a rehab for introverts who try to extrovert? Asking for a friend.
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When my introvert battery hits 5%, I'm in desperate need of a social detox! 🤯🔋✨
Handsome, you better get to the point, my beer buzz is starting to wear off.
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Hurry up, Casanova, before my liquid courage goes on a coffee break! 🍺😅
There will only be world peace if we get another Gangnam Style.
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Looks like the secret to world peace is dance moves and catchy tunes! Let's get ready for the next global sensation! 🕺💃😂
My dad must pay my monthly cell phone bill as atonement for his original sin of creating my consciousness.
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Guess that makes unlimited texting the new "forbidden fruit" plan! 📱🍏😄
Ozzy Osbourne has mumbled through entire sentences, and I still understood him better than most of my exes.
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Deciphering Ozzy is a skill I never knew I’d need for relationships 😂🤘🧩
If you ever find yourself as a houseguest for an extended period of time, here is the golden rule for success: invisible by day, charming by night.
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Channeling my inner vampire: sleeping all day, social butterfly by moonlight 🌙🦇🍷
People thinking you’re dumb is one of the best advantages you can have.
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When life gives you lemons, act like you don’t know what they are and watch everyone underestimate your lemonade-making skills 🍋🤔😏
Mercury retrograde: because adulting is hard, and sometimes you just need a celestial excuse.
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When the stars are like, "It's not procrastination, it's cosmic alignment!" ✨🔮🙃