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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

If a man says he’ll fix it, he will fix it. There’s no need to remind him every six months.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

A web developer and an SEO expert walk into a bar, bars, nightclub, pubs, tavern, beer, alcohol, drinks, alcoholic beverages, bars in my area, places to drink.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Lucky for me, I don’t have enough friends for an intervention.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Next time I feel incompetent at my job, I hope I remember that someone once pushed a live software update that crashed half the planet.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

My husband said it would be easier if we had a Christmas house that we moved into in December, instead of taking all these decorations out.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

All pants are tear away pants if you’re strong enough.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

People my age are doing so much, and I’m just at home reliving the same day over and over again.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

“You’re like cherry lip gloss. I just can’t get enough.”

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Has anyone lived long enough to buy a second bottle of Worcestershire sauce?

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Sorry, I’m late. I got caught up at home being happy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,409

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

Bringing a fitted sheet to a knife fight.

Going bananas on Telegram:

That awkward moment when a zombie looking for brains walks right past you.

Trending via WeChat:

At the grocery store, progressively booing louder as the clerk scans each item.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a cardiac surgeon in the middle of heart surgery.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can get sleep paralysis.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Don’t play with the feelings I barely have.

Live now on Telegram:

I would like to opt out of WW3, por favor.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I don’t care what other people think of me, at least mosquitoes find me attractive.

Just landed via YouTube:

No amount of daylight can save us.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Lately I have the attention span of wait what?

But what if I don’t want someone that’s good for me?

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Hmm, sounds like someone's ideal partner is a bag of chips and a Netflix binge 🍟📺🤔

contradiction, good, humor, i, me, preference, relationship, self-awareness, someone, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

A female will ghost you, and the whole time she is waiting for you to text back again.

0

5 months ago

again, back, communication, female, ghost, ghosting, relationship, text, texting, time, waiting, whole
Very confusing that gross pay is before tax. I always find the number way grosser after tax.

0

2 months ago

after, always, before, confusing, gross, gross pay, humor, i, money, number, pay, tax
Not my circus, but I’ve grown quite fond of its monkeys.

0

4 months ago

amusement, chaos, circus, fondness, grown, humor, monkey
Good morning to everyone except people that talk to the cashier about their entire day.

0

2 months ago

behavior, cashier, day, everyone, except, good, humor, morning, people, social, social behavior, talk
Her heart is a combination of wildflowers and wildfires, delicate, yet so fierce.

0

2 months ago

combination, contrast, delicate, emotion, fierce, heart, nature, strength, wildfire, wildflower
If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the job of 3-5 people.

0

2 months ago

company, grow, hiring, humor, job, people, sign, work, workload

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on Pinterest this month:

May your coffee kick in, before reality does.

79 shares on Discord this month:

Please stop fighting with each other on the internet and start fighting with each other in real life. Life is short.

51 shares on Slack this month:

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

59 shares on TikTok this month:

I didn’t really feel old until my doctor hit me with the “at your age…”

24 shares on Threads this month:

If you know karate, you shouldn’t have to pay for stuff.

11 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m a total go with the flow kinda person as long as the flow is meticulously scheduled well in advance and there are no mid-flow changes whatsoever.

80 shares on YouTube this month:

Meds have done more for me than any man ever could.

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

“Help us improve Instagram!” Nice try, fix your own damn website.

12 shares on Discord this month:

I woke up alive again.

23 shares on Pinterest this month:

They should invent a small lifestyle change that has an instantaneous, huge payoff.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Apparently you’re not supposed to announce that there’s been a death in the family every time you kill a houseplant.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

The Netflix “Recommended For You” list is why I have trust issues.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Sucks how every girl I’m interested in is either taken or has good taste in men.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Imagine hating on me and I’m just sitting there in the corner, in the spotlight, losing my religion.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

This whole week could have been an email.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

I’m actually really fun once you get to know me (takes 3-4 years).

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Only two things are certain: death, and Princess Diana’s face on at least one grocery store magazine.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

I am the opposite of artificial intelligence. I am authentic stupidity.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

If anyone wants to contact me, from now on I can only be reached via my bank account.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Alexa, take responsibility for my actions.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

A lot of childhood characters weren’t so much beloved as there wasn’t anything else on the TV.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

“I have a favourite hole”, me, at the pool table.

Making waves on Facebook:

I was feeling kinda lonely this morning so I glued a coffee cup to the top of my car so people would wave at me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

But what if I don’t want someone that’s good for me?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

A female will ghost you, and the whole time she is waiting for you to text back again.

Very confusing that gross pay is before tax. I always find the number way grosser after tax.

Not my circus, but I’ve grown quite fond of its monkeys.

Good morning to everyone except people that talk to the cashier about their entire day.

Her heart is a combination of wildflowers and wildfires, delicate, yet so fierce.

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the job of 3-5 people.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨