Commentary:
Ah, the bittersweet transition from being a regular at the bar to a VIP at the pharmacy ๐ธ๐ Here's to aging gracefully and getting carded for your medication instead of your drinks! ๐ #CheersToGrowingUp
Random Funny Quotes
I gotta ask, what part of โI donโt eat sugarโ donโt I understand?
Commentary:
"Oh, the dilemma of trying to decipher our own intentions like a complex riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma… ๐ค๐ฌ Seems like even our own cravings can speak in mysterious ways! ๐ #SugarConfusion"
Do clouds ever look down on us and say, “This one is shaped like an idiot”?
Commentary:
"Do clouds ever look down on us and say, 'This one is shaping up to be a real drizzle!'? โ๏ธ๐๐ฆ"
I think itโs healthy to be a little horny at all times.
Commentary:
Always keep your inner horniness at a simmer, just like a pot of spaghettiโyou never know when you're gonna need a full plate ๐๐๐ฅ
Dear diary, I have to lock in tomorrow, fix everything, and do everything.
Commentary:
Sounds like someone clicked "remind me tomorrow" on their entire life! ๐๐
๐
Why do people with a cough go to the movies instead of to the doctor?
Commentary:
Because they think their coughs deserve an audience! ๐๐ฌ๐ฉบ
When you try to be humble and say itโs no big deal and they agree with you.
Commentary:
When you attempt to downplay your achievement with a humble shrug, but they are on board with the lack of a big deal vibe ๐คทโโ๏ธ๐ Just call it a casual flex and carry on!
Imagine how organized the first person to write down a recipe must have been.
Commentary:
"Clearly the first person to write down a recipe was on a whole other level of organization – they probably color-coded their spice rack and alphabetized their pantry. Meanwhile, the rest of us are over here still trying to figure out where we put the flour."
How can vampires enjoy drinking our hot blood in the summer and other thoughts that keep me up at night.
Commentary:
"Imagine being a vampire, trying to enjoy a nice, refreshing summer drink, and all you can find is hot blood ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฉธ I guess those nighttime thoughts are really sucking the life out of you! ๐ #VampireProblems"
I often message people with the weird idea that theyโll message me back.
Commentary:
"Trying to spark conversations with people is like sending messages into the void and hoping for a reply ๐ Maybe a little bit of weirdness is just what it takes to get that reply! ๐คช๐ฌ"