Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

The art of letting whoever think whatever.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Breaking News: Jenny on Facebook is having salad for dinner tonight.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Nice tots you got there. Be a shame if someone tatered em.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Turns out I like you a lot more than I originally planned.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Public urination isn’t a crime if you do it in your pants.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

I need a massage for my brain.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

When two people argue online I believe whoever spells correctly.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

My wife has a weird habit of starting conversations by saying, “Are you even listening to me?”

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Because it is Friday, I will allow one beautiful woman to invite me for drinks.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Therapists probably have to struggle so hard not to ask to see pictures of the people their clients are obsessing over.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Dec 22, 2025

3,732

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

Insomniacs who are not afraid of the dark have nighty-night problems but the pitch ain’t one.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Having a dirty mind and an innocent face is truly a blessing.

Just landed via Instagram:

How does pasta water know when you’re not looking?

Shared recently on Facebook:

The only running I do is to chase the ice cream truck.

Going viral on YouTube:

You wake up at 6 a.m. and it’s like you have 48 hours instead of 24.

Shared recently on Threads:

November moving quicker than two lesbians who met three days ago.

Making waves on X:

The real body count is how many people are in therapy because of you.

Spotted on Twitch:

It’s almost time to switch from my everyday anxiety to my fancy Christmas anxiety.

Trending via Slack:

It’s time to stare blankly at my wall for hours straight and think about where I went wrong with my life.

Live now on Slack:

The breathing exercises from the birth preparation course are only needed once the child has reached puberty.

Eventually, kids get old enough to see which parent was the problem.

7 hours ago

0

Eventually, kids get old enough to see which parent was the problem.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like the truth finally emerged from the LEGO minefield 😂🧩🤷‍♀️

childhood, enough, family, humor, kid, kids, old, parent, parenting, problem

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I have been nothing but creepy and aggressive to you. Please respond.

0

1 month ago

aggressive, awkwardness, communication, creepy, humor, i, nothing, please, relationship, respond
I take issue with furniture that deliberately moves 1 inch when you’re in a rush to get by.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, design, furniture, humor, i, inconvenience, issue, movement, moves, rush, take
Imagine hating me and im just at my desk spinning reeaaally fast in my office chair.

0

1 month ago

activity, chair, desk, fast, hate, humor, imagine, just, me, office, spinning, work
I hope we get the nice AI that enslaves us and makes us their pets and not the bad AI that enslaves us to mine lithium or something.

0

2 months ago

AI, bad, hope, i, mine, nice, pets, something
It’s like 10,000 yawns when all you need is a nap.

0

1 month ago

exhaustion, fatigue, humor, nap, need, rest, sleep, yawn
The difference between a biography and an autobiography is self-explanatory.

0

2 months ago

autobiography, biography, difference, humor, literature, self-explanatory, wordplay, writing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on Messenger this month:

It’s normal that my retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding buried treasure at some point, right?

76 shares on Snapchat this month:

Roses are red, violets are blue, sunflowers are yellow. I bet you were expecting something romantic, but no, this is just gardening facts.

99 shares on Discord this month:

The mattress in the guest room was perfectly fine until I had to sleep on it once.

32 shares on TikTok this month:

In other news, congrats to my therapist for securing a 4 year contract with me.

91 shares on Discord this month:

You are born, you lie about how you are and then you die.

36 shares on Threads this month:

I have a brain that wants to be alone, and a heart that wants to be loved.

66 shares on YouTube this month:

Student life is all about convincing your parents that you are studying, convincing your friends that you are not, and convincing yourself that you’ll study from tomorrow.

94 shares on Pinterest this month:

So I think the mammals have now ravaged this planet long enough. It’s time for the reptiles to take over again.

25 shares on Instagram this month:

My friends wife threatened to leave him over his Star Wars collectibles and I was like “divorce is strong in this one”.

34 shares on Threads this month:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I want him in ways that are deeply deeply upsetting to modern feminism.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

An easy way to check if you’re attractive: send a “Hey” DM and see if they reply.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone’s gangster until they need to pee.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I have a very active anti-social life.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

“You never text back.” No, I be reading texts from the notification bar, then forget to text back.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine how loud a centipede would be if they wore tiny little flip flops.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been on Facebook for so long, I remember when it all used to be farmland.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Most people who have found themselves are amazed to discover that there is nothing there at all.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Went to the gym two days in a row. This is a fitness account now.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Sunsets and women are undoubtedly God’s best creations.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,998

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

This Thanksgiving, don’t ask me questions about my life, just pass the mashed potatoes.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

I couldn’t work at a zoo. I’d have a penguin in my car by the end of the shift.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Wouldn’t it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer and come out wrinkle free?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

A fabric tomato filled with needles. Don’t see that much anymore.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

When I watch hockey, I pretend they’re fighting over the last Oreo.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Even at my most powerful, I’m still a little sleepy.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

I can’t tell if I need coffee, a hug, or to just go live in the woods forever.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

My dream car is a taco truck.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

Apparently, “I just don’t want to” is not a valid reason when your boss asks you why you’re not coming in today.

Just shared via Slack:

When they make a Hate Island, somebody link me.

Making waves on Reddit:

A shark could swim faster than me, but I could probably run faster than a shark. So, in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.

Spotted on Telegram:

I can feel your energy from two planets away.

Breaking via TikTok:

Just remember, you don’t need a special reason to buy a cake.

Live now on Reddit:

If your problem can’t be fixed by coffee, tequila or sex then I’m out of advice.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I’m the person who requested weather reporters stand in the storms. I have no concept of wind or rain and love seeing needless suffering.

Spotted on Instagram:

Science has enough bodies, I’m donating mine to English lit just to spice things up a bit.

Just landed via WeChat:

I make sure to post my political opinions after my selfies have gone viral to cull the herd.

Spotted on Twitch:

Being insane should at least burn calories.

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