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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Your childhood wasn’t complete unless you were chased by a dog… or a goat… or even worse, a chicken.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

I believe in you. I also believe in Bigfoot so don’t get too excited.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Saving on divorce lawyers by staying single.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Increasing the amount of high fives I give my boss each day until he quits his job.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Every night at bedtime I do one small ritual: six hours on my cell phone.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

It really cannot be overstated how many of your problems disappear once you have a beautiful woman who is in love with you.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

I’m not going to die because of an accident. Nor because of an illness. But from small talk. Someone will say one boring sentence too many and I’ll drop dead.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Being insane should at least burn calories.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

In my defense, I was left alone unsupervised.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

A freshly cleaned bathroom triggers an irresistible urge in men to trim their beard.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,713

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

Driving is great because it combines my love of sitting with my love of being mad.

Shared recently on X:

Life is way too short to pretend you’re not into some freaky stuff.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I avoid those club cameras like my life depends on it.

Live now on Instagram:

Dear algorithm, only show this post to the most attractive and successful people.

Trending via Telegram:

I feel like I should give my air conditioner a plaque for employee of the month.

Seen just now on Telegram:

There should be a Mad Max movie that reveals the world outside Australia has actually remained pretty normal.

Just landed via Discord:

When I’m president, I will add an additional hour between 6 and 7pm.

Live now on WeChat:

Pool rules: You’re not allowed to do anything that begins with the words ‘Hey everyone watch this!’

Trending via Messenger:

The person opposite me has a donut. I do not have a donut. That should be my donut. This person is now my arch nemesis.

Trending via Pinterest:

If you apply enough sunscreen, the rain simply rolls off.

Funny Apple Watch quotes

Funny Apple Watch quotes bring a burst of laughter to your wrist⌚️😂! Whether you’re tracking steps or just checking the time, these clever and quirky sayings add a spark of joy to your day📱✨. Perfect for sharing with friends or spicing up your smartwatch game, get ready to smile every time you glance at your Apple Watch! 🎉⌚️#TechHumor #WristGoals

New funny Apple Watch quotes 👇

All funny Apple Watch quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I went to clean bathroom and I’m 99% sure my kids shoot their toothpaste out of a cannon.

46 shares on YouTube this month:

If you inject Botox into a raisin, does it turn back into a grape?

26 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I will sit in the rain about this.

51 shares on Pinterest this month:

Due to financial reasons, I will now be performing photosynthesis.

46 shares on Instagram this month:

Someone needs to invent a kid that listens the first time.

73 shares on Pinterest this month:

My five-year plan only requires a few acts of God.

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Due to the humidity, my hair has chosen violence.

76 shares on X this month:

I hate when the lotion bottle pump squirts the hardened remains of its mucus plug into the palm of your hand.

78 shares on Pinterest this month:

80 percent of my life now is just “hmmmm… should I bring my jacket or not?”

94 shares on X this month:

How late is too late to still be lying in bed, naked, drinking coffee?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I have to stand in the shower about this.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The leading cause for injury in old men is them thinking they are still young men.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Unless you’re dead wearing a sheet, you got no business ghosting people.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag but there are so many movies out there that have watched me sleep.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when a guy asks “can you cook?” Can you build a house?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Automatic doors that don’t open fast enough make me look dumb.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If I say, “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared peer-reviewed research, data, and charts, and I will destroy you.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I see posts like, “If food is too expensive, just grow your own.” Okay, Einstein, why didn’t I think of that?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t mean to disrupt the hotel industry, but how about checkout is 24 hours after you check in?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Just saying “Think about it!” is enough to overwhelm many people these days.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,530

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Apart from “It’s okay”, what other death threats do women use?

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Pretty cool that we all come together on Christmas and celebrate the birth of Santa.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m at the age where I see a huge, beautiful mansion in a movie and think, “How much does it cost to heat that house in the winter?”

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

So tonight me and my phone are playing hide and seek. So far my phone is winning.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Duolingo does everything except actually teach you the language.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

No longer praying on your downfall. I will be directly involved.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

I’m beginning to think that for some of you, the wheels on the bus do not go round and round.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one-night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

80% of Americans just want to put on sunglasses and say, ‘Let’s do this.’

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying seems to be working.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

I’ve just found my wide pants again. They weren’t gone at all, they’re just my tight pants now.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

There should be a website where you post your wishes, and rich people who don’t know what to do with their money give you an anonymous gift.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

At the doctor’s office, booing all the names being called that aren’t mine.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

This entire month could’ve been an email.

Spotted on Messenger:

When God created the giraffe, he probably slipped with the mouse on the screen. This is how its neck was created.

Breaking via YouTube:

I always carry a knife with me in case I run into someone with 10,000 spoons.

Making waves on Reddit:

Apparently, the job interviewer doesn’t like it when your biggest weakness is beautiful Latinas.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Putting a hot frying pan into a sink running with cold water makes me feel like a blacksmith.

Live now on X:

I decided to be me and now we have a problem.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I’m sick of blessings in disguise. I am ready for a blessing with absolutely no disguise whatsoever.

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