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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

You ever met someone so dumb you gotta take a deep breath before responding to them?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

This coffee isn’t working. Think I need holy water.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Does the HDMI cord have the most dominant run of any cord ever?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Vanilla perfumes are so nice. It’s like walking into a bakery but you are the bakery.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

You are depressed because your ancestors fought, danced, and ate meals together, and you eat alone in the dark while staring at a glowing rectangle.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Work beers should be a daily thing.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

I can actually be quite charming if you would let me out of the guillotine.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

I may be sensitive, but everyone else could be a little kinder, too.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Does anyone else feel like their brain has a hundred tabs open at once?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Of course, because I’m wearing a white shirt, my coffee chose violence.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,712

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Last time I laid on his chest, I heard girls in there laughing at me.

Just shared via TikTok:

This meeting could have been an oil painting.

Trending via Reddit:

Nobody flirts better than a girl with zero interest.

Just shared via Threads:

Ever since I learned the show is called Suits because of lawsuits and not because they wear suits, I have harbored a hot white rage within me beyond anything mankind has ever known.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Don’t fall in love. It’s bad.

Just landed via X:

Whenever I’m sad, you’re there. Whenever I have problems, you’re there. Whenever I lose control, you’re there. Let’s face it, you are bad luck.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure!

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Do u guys also have a story in your head, and when you’re bored, you just add more to it and continue from where you left off?

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Balloons are so weird. “Happy birthday, here’s a plastic sack of my breath.”

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Not arguing with a man that can cook. Whatever you say, handsome.

Funny babysitter quotes

Funny babysitter quotes bring to light the hilarious and often chaotic experiences that come with watching over kids. 👶🤣 From managing the wild antics of little ones to dealing with unexpected surprises, these quotes capture the essence of the babysitting adventure with a touch of humor. Dive in and enjoy the laughs that come with the territory of babysitting! 😂👀

New funny babysitter quotes 👇

All funny babysitter quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Instagram this month:

I tell my kids winning isn’t everything and then I steal money from the monopoly bank.

51 shares on Pinterest this month:

Stop blaming everyone for your problems. Pick one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

25 shares on X this month:

Anyone who deals with customers on a professional basis should be allowed to hand out one face slap per day.

78 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m ugly but I can make u laugh.

84 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The phone is the most evil screen. The computer is somewhat evil, but less so than the phone. The TV is benevolent.

75 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s almost time to switch from my everyday anxiety to my fancy Christmas anxiety.

64 shares on Twitch this month:

Uber Eats “you forgot to finish your order” notification is funny because I didn’t forget, I just came to my senses.

57 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m at the age where an uncomfortable bed will have me injured for a couple of days.

81 shares on Twitch this month:

As I get older, I’m understanding why everything needs to be done before 12 p.m.

98 shares on TikTok this month:

Statistically speaking, people don’t object enough at weddings.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

In England “booster shot” is spelled “borchestershire shot”.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Tried counting sheep, but now I’m emotionally invested in their backstories and I think one might need therapy.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Cupid’s arrow should have just killed me instead.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

No revenge, because losing someone like me is enough.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If you shouldn’t go food shopping when you’re hungry, then you should definitely not go clothes shopping when you’re naked. Trust me on this.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Terrifying if taken literally—if these walls could talk.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Home: Where I can look ugly and not care.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m always best at the things I shouldn’t do.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If I climbed all the way to the top of Mount Everest and looked up, then I’d finally see the top of our family’s weekly laundry pile.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I think I should talk to my colleagues more often. Until I talk to my colleagues.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,447

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

“How am I supposed to avoid Al when I’ve procrastinated on a paper?” With a night full of caffeine and nicotine like your forefathers, you babies.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

There are two classes of travel: first class and with children.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

A couple of birds are outside fighting. Wait. They’ve quieted down. There’s a third bird. I think he may be their therapist.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

“Mom, how did we get so rich?” your father said, “Thanks, nothing from my end,” on thousands of important Zoom meetings.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

If I could have immunity to anything I would pick calories.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

After my death, I’ll be very busy. The list of people to whom I want to appear as a ghost is getting longer every day.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

I love beating a dead horse with the girls. There is nothing better than a Saturday night rehashing, and never letting that horse rest in peace.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

When you tickle a man to death by accident, it is manslaughter.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

You can’t ’48 Laws of Power’ me.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

I don’t miss calls, I stare at them.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Twitter is great because you can get good life advice from other emotionally unstable adults.

Shared recently on Messenger:

My back and I are definitely not the same age.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Dinosaurs are always described as “roaming” the earth, which is patronizing as hell, I bet they had places to go and important shit to do.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

It’s wild that “Jason” is a name from ancient Greece, because it sounds like it was invented in Florida in 1983.

Spotted on Facebook:

Someone tongue kissed me recently in a way I can only describe as 5th base.

Spotted on Reddit:

I’ve realized about a third of my life is spent trying to ignore the fact that I have to pee.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Men make it so easy to hate them.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Have a good weekend, unless you have other plans.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Getting my next boyfriend a flip phone. He doesn’t need anything more.

Just shared via X:

Withholding sex from you people isn’t working.

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