Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

I don’t get vegetables on my pizza because I don’t like mixing business with pleasure.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Inventing the Grinch: “Santa needs a Wario!”

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Banks should have a gold bar that you can go in and touch when you feel poor.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Be the elephant you wish to see in the room.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

My toxic trait is consistently cutting off the resealable part of the bag of frozen vegetables.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Films and television have led me to believe that masquerade balls have a higher mortality rate than most wars.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Come on, karma, do your job.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

On a dare, my son sprayed deodorant in his mouth. Now he speaks with an Axe scent.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

I’m afraid that AI will quickly realize that the biggest problem on Earth is humans – and then solve the problem.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,460

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via X:

My watch battery is fully charged. So I got some time.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I always bring a glass of water to bed with me so I have something to knock over in the middle of the night.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I drink my coffee black because I like to save my calories for alcohol.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Which one of you shrunk all of my jeans?

Trending via Discord:

Apple, who gives you permission to turn the brightness down again when I’ve just turned it up?

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I am stoned and laying in bed reading, and the idea of Santa going on Ozempic popped into my head, and I whispered, “No!”

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I wish it were social acceptable to say “I don’t care” and walk away mid conversation when you’re bored.

Spreading quickly via X:

Common sense is so rare these days that it should be considered a superpower.

Going viral on Facebook:

The internet is making people stupid. Not me, though.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I don’t really care how you met your partner. Tell me about how you met your nemesis.

Funny beans quotes

Funny beans quotes are the perfect blend of quirky humor and legume love 🌱😂 Whether you’re a bean enthusiast or just in need of a good chuckle, these witty lines will spice up your day 🌶️✨ Get ready to giggle over the humble bean’s big personality and share some laughs with friends! 🫘🤣 #BeanThereDoneThat

New funny beans quotes 👇

All funny beans quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Slack this month:

In other news, congrats to my therapist for securing a 4 year contract with me.

40 shares on Threads this month:

Wouldn’t it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer and come out wrinkle free?

20 shares on Facebook this month:

A dating app for people who are shy called Mumble.

27 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

75 shares on Discord this month:

People pass a joint around like it’s no big deal, but the minute I ask someone to do that with their Subway sandwich, I’m a weirdo.

90 shares on YouTube this month:

If we date and break up, you gotta unlearn all my lingo and cool shit that I taught you. You gotta go back to being lame.

14 shares on X this month:

Obsessed with how Siri just doesn’t work at all, ever.

91 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sometimes, in the middle of eating a rotisserie chicken, I ask myself “did I just run a red light?”

21 shares on TikTok this month:

You guys ever play a game for hours straight? You start hallucinating the sounds.

83 shares on YouTube this month:

My playlist is so random, I be heartbroken, thugged out, and yeehaw all at the same time.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Before the internet, going viral meant your drawing made it to the fridge, and your sibling was furious.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Me: “I’m still young.” My bones: “No, we not.”

15 folks are currently checking 👀

And are the people who find you “hilarious” in the room with us now?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Me in hell: “So did it hurt when you fell from heaven.” Lucifer: “Get out!”

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Sunday without HBO feels like a meal without carbs — empty and deeply wrong.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I love being wrong, it’s just like being right except easier and I get to be stupid, which is my favorite thing.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The only way I’m gonna hit the gym is if I accidentally drive into it.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Julia Garner most confusing name because it calls to mind both Julia Roberts and Jennifer Garner, but she is neither.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If you wave your keys in front of a giant house, people will think you own it.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Losing jewelry is a different type of hurt.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,426

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Girls be like “forget it, I’m fine” then set your house on fire.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Everything is about sex except Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is about power.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

I know my limits. I don’t always obey them, but I know them.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

I’m so old, I still drink my coffee at home in the morning. From a real cup.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

I can’t watch Sex and the City anymore, because I get really upset at how much money these ladies have.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

I woke up again, it’s pathetic how much death fears me.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

If you want to hang out with me, all you have to do is ask, and I’ll say no.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Flat earth is too mainstream, hollow earth is where it’s at.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Not to brag but I am evidence of things unseen.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

I have more trips planned than I have money.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Every family needs a delusional daughter who is ambitious about relieving all her family’s struggles solely by winning the lottery one day.

Making waves on X:

You see how in cartoons, when they’re hungry, their friends start looking like a chicken leg? That’s how ovulation feels.

Just shared via Slack:

Looks like it’s just you and me tonight, family size Toblerone.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

What is Washington’s plan to make everything bagels less messy to eat?

Going bananas on Twitch:

Screaming into the abyss has lost some of its effectiveness, if I’m being honest.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I think the real reason this generation is so angry is that their music sucks.

Spotted on Messenger:

(british guy unhooking your bra) All right, what’s all this, then?

Live now on Discord:

I hate texting someone something freaky at night, and they reply in the morning like it’s still the vibe. Shut up. The sun’s out. I’m pure again.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Films and television have led me to believe that masquerade balls have a higher mortality rate than most wars.

Live now on TikTok:

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴