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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

I think the bowl of ice cream I ate earlier gave me a stomach ache, so I ate a another bowl to make sure.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Some of you aren’t reading the room. Not even listening to the room on audiobook.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m looking for a moisturizer to hide the fact that I’ve been tired since 2010.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

I’m at the age where using the wrong pillow makes you feel like you broke your neck.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Deleting my mental health to focus on social media.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Ants can be found on every continent except Antarctica, which is weird considering their name.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

I only go on LinkedIn to see what my coworkers looked like 15 years ago.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

I wish religion made people nicer to each other.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Sports bars exist. There should be bars for monitoring the situation.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,963

Funny Quotes Topics

14,762

Funny Quotes Images

11,963

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Discord:

Just overheard someone describe their hike as “it was like mountain climbing, but flat”.

Just landed via TikTok:

My couch better stop looking at me like that, it knows exactly what it’s doing.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t turn into a disaster.

Trending via Discord:

Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

Spotted on Slack:

Bob was hungry. He ripped open a new bag of tortillas only to discover a convenient, resealable opening on the other end.

Reported on Instagram:

Hear me out. A waiting room where the doctors wait.

Trending via Telegram:

Relationship status: my last pickpocket had really gentle hands.

Going viral on X:

Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves while he does.

Making waves on Threads:

Being abducted by aliens could be just the vacation I need right now.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

People who are on Twitter and put intelligent in their bio, good one.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,963

Funny Quotes Topics

14,762

Funny Quotes Images

11,963

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Everytime I spend $20 I think this is fine because I won’t do it again. And then would you believe.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

I’m an expert at having a really funny story to tell and then wording it so badly that it’s not even funny anymore.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

My neighbor won’t stop talking about his Rolex and I can’t believe someone stole it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

At least I’m part of the generation that at 30 still looks like it’s in its early 20s.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Urgh. Trying to buy a copy of Catch-22 online but the seller won’t post it until I’ve paid and I won’t pay until I’ve received it.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Why put off until tomorrow what you can have an intern do today?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

The sole purpose of your child’s middle name… is so they know when they’re really in trouble.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

The struggle to get off the couch and into bed is real.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

I feel like I’ve skipped the whole ‘go out and have fun’ stage and went straight to being an 80-year-old woman.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

The best part of the relationship is before you meet them, and you’re single.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

The only time anyone should watch the news is to study how psychological manipulation works on the general public.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

“Beauty sleep” is bullshit. I sleep 14 hours a day and still look like trash.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by saying they look tired.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Many men also have a walk-in closet. For them, it’s just called a floor.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Getting paid to sleep would be such a dream job.

Just shared via Threads:

My neighbor told me he heard me having sex this morning. I was putting on my shoes.

Just landed via Discord:

The worst thing you can do when cleaning your house is “sit down for a minute.”

Spotted on YouTube:

I used to schedule naps, but now they’re little surprise parties my body throws at all hours of the day.

Trending via Twitch:

My husband threw away a perfectly good box as if we might not need it in 20 years.

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