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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Like shark attacks on humans, it’s actually extremely rare. The majority of antique, porcelain headed dolls aren’t interested in murdering people.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Concert tickets should be 75% off if the artist is really super special to you.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Old age is like a glorious, extended long weekend, but you always know Monday’s coming.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Have an early flight tomorrow, so naturally I’m going to stay up late tonight and be weird in my room.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Ever since I turned 20, someone is always in Japan or Italy. Is it like this forever?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Dear phone, if you didn’t light up so many times to tell me you had a low battery, you wouldn’t have died so quickly!

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

I need a break from me.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Don’t invite me places. I was cesarean. I didn’t want to come out then and I certainly don’t want to now.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Welcome to middle age: your chin looks lonely; here’s another one.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Nobody’s more stubborn than an Android person that won’t switch to iPhone.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1839 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,001

Funny Quotes Topics

14,798

Funny Quotes Images

12,001

Updated

37 seconds ago

Users Online

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

If you ever need me, I’m always just a couple missed calls and text messages away.

Just shared via Messenger:

Cancel culture has been canceled.

Trending via Telegram:

Someone at my job mentioned severance, and I was like, “Oh my God, I love that show,” and they said, “No, I’m about to get fired.”

Just shared via Snapchat:

At Christmas time, all outstanding invoices are always transferred with the reference “Hohoho”.

Just shared via Messenger:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not exhausted, you’re just awake. Have a nice day.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Being loved right feels like telepathy and a little bit of witchcraft.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Anyone know how to create an Outlook rule that sends every email to junk, deletes it, blocks the sender, and sets my laptop on fire?

Just shared via TikTok:

That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you’re shopping for something else because they just won’t budge.

Reported on Telegram:

This year is starting to feel like it needs to be left outside until we see if it can act right.

Just landed via Twitch:

At some point, I need to admit my ‘guilty pleasure’ music taste is just my music taste now.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1839 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,001

Funny Quotes Topics

14,798

Funny Quotes Images

12,001

Updated

37 seconds ago

Users Online

3,451

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Typos keep me humble. Every email is a gamble.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

When I was a kid, there were two ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Starting is the hardest part. Unless it’s eating chocolate. Then stopping is the hardest part.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

I can’t wait to see my older sister so she can point out I have more gray hair than she does.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Wearing a condom while she’s on birth control is called two-factor authentication.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Best friends: they know how crazy you are but still choose to be seen in public with you.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

My child has entered the “Why?” stage of linguistic development, and I’ve realized I know absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

My doctor told me to try a milk bath. Adding the Cinnamon Toast Crunch was my idea.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

50 shades of single.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Guns N’ Roses: “Welcome to the jungle!” The jungle: “No more humans, please!”

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

It seems that after checking my bank account, I need to turn to a life of crime.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I drink all this water and for what. Just to pee? This planet is a prison.

Just shared via WeChat:

I just want a man to look at me the way Doc from ‘Back to the Future’ looks when something exciting happens.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Don’t go chasing waterfalls? The place where many video games hide easter eggs and other rare items?

Seen just now on Discord:

Hit my coworker with “you’re a lucky man” after I saw a picture of his wife just to let him know that I want to sleep with her.

Spotted on Telegram:

It’s so important to warm up before any physical activity, like getting out of bed.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Lorebombing is when you make a new friend in your thirties and you have to catch each other up.

Trending via Messenger:

My boyfriend invited the neighbors over for dinner, “sometime,” so now we have to move.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

One of the kids said, “Camping looks fun,” so tonight we’re watching The Revenant.

Going viral on Threads:

“Mom, how did we get so rich?” your father said, “Thanks, nothing from my end,” on thousands of important Zoom meetings.

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