Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

It’s so hot outside that when I opened my front door I thought I was checking on my oven.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

My wallet is empty, just like my soul.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

My shadow quit because I’m too boring.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

I can’t wait until I’m old enough to pretend I can’t hear.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

I’m looking for a moisturizer to hide the fact that I’ve been tired since 2010.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

May he drop his phone on his face while he’s texting other girls.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

“It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

9am: anything is possible. 2pm: maybe tomorrow.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

I don’t need a midlife crisis. My whole life is a crisis.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,385

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WeChat:

One of the most embarrassing things in the world: walking downhill.

Live now on Twitch:

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said “less McDonald’s”, but I’m pretty sure I know what he meant.

Breaking via YouTube:

“Thanks for your payment!” Shut up. I paid that bill against my will.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Putting together a piece of furniture today, so my kids are about to learn swear words that haven’t even been invented yet.

Just landed via Telegram:

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the terms and conditions I do not read.

Broadcasted on Threads:

“It gets to a point” is one of my favourite phrases because it literally does get to a point sometimes.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

When you realize a 9 to 5 is actually an 8 to 7, since you cannot teleport to work.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I’ll see you in your nightmares.

Spotted on Twitch:

A haunted house but in every room someone is asking you to say a little something about yourself.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Somewhere, a therapist you never met knows about you.

Funny choking quotes

Funny choking quotes bring a hilarious twist to those awkward moments when things just don’t go as planned 😅🍴 Whether it’s a slip of the tongue or a literal food mishap, these witty lines will have you laughing through the struggle 🤣🔥 Ready to turn cringe into comedy? Dive in and enjoy the lighter side of choking moments! 😂💬

New funny choking quotes 👇

All funny choking quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on Slack this month:

My favorite thing to do when I see people I know in public is to pretend I didn’t.

37 shares on Twitch this month:

Remember: if nobody hates you, you’re not trying hard enough.

85 shares on Reddit this month:

The clitoris has 8,000 nerves, if you gonna get on my nerves, get on one of those.

79 shares on Discord this month:

Big city friend is complaining about a 10 minute wait for a subway while I sit here waiting for the rail replacement horse.

52 shares on YouTube this month:

Threatening my husband with tariffs every time he tries to make me watch sports on TV.

41 shares on YouTube this month:

Most men will receive their first bunch of flowers at their funeral.

35 shares on Slack this month:

So a baby crawls across the floor to it’s bottle and it’s cute but when I do it Im in need of an intervention?

23 shares on Reddit this month:

Incredibly annoying that exercising, eating right, and drinking water can make you actually feel good.

88 shares on Telegram this month:

If I buy the circus, the monkey will be the manager.

92 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I just finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m often mistaken for an adult because of my age.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Crazy that caffeine has no short or long-term negative side effects. Just a super drug from God.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever named the grapefruit when there was already a fruit named grape. Incompetent legend. I wish we could hang out.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I think nervous flatulence would be helpful if you were ever kidnapped.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing is funnier than seeing how angry someone gets when they realize they can’t manipulate you.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s important to listen to both sides of the debate because you need to hear both the reality of the situation and also the dumbest thing anyone’s ever said.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Opened two gifts this morning, and they were my eyes.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Sleeping in now means waking up without the alarm clock, but still at the same time.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s healthy to be a little insane sometimes.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,466

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

You could be having a nice day and then somebody your own age says they bought a house.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Pumpkin spice season comes earlier every year and yet some still deny climate change.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

I bought a little bag of air today. The company that made it was kind enough to put some potato chips in it as well.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

I used to mix Mountain Dew with the cheapest vodka I could find, and I called it the Blood of Mannaroth because it’s green and turns you into an orc.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

I forgot how to panic. Help!

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Some people aren’t just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

“Overdressed” is a social construct created by hating girls.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

When I was a child, my social network was called ‘outside’.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Can’t threaten me with screenshots. I’ll get a microphone and say it again.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

Welcome to your 50s, your joints are now meteorologists.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Still waiting for aliens to abduct me, which feels pretty rude considering I’ve been dressed and ready for years.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

My grandmother is a shining example of how you can live until 90 years of age, sustained by nothing but spite and biscuits.

Spotted on Instagram:

Nasa is launching a satellite to say sorry to the aliens. They’re calling it the Apollo G.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I refuse to learn the color coding for heart emojis. Your heart means what I want it to, and vice versa.

Shared recently on Threads:

Turns out I like you a lot more than I originally planned.

Making waves on Telegram:

Girlfriend is temporary, ex-girlfriend is forever.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

The only ex I cheated on is my exam.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Expecting your first baby’s exciting, but have you ever ordered a new coffee machine?

Trending via Facebook:

Are cassette tapes considered classical music yet?

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