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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Watched Titanic for the 14th time. Still sobbing. Still yelling, “SCOOT OVER, COW!” like it’ll change the ending.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

I Knew Better, But I Did It Anyway: A Memoir

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

God: “I genuinely don’t remember making you all this stupid.”

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Is it healthier to drink tap water and let the fluoride calcify my pineal gland or drink bottled spring water and let micro plastics settle in my balls?

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Texting random numbers “It’s done.”

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

I broke up with the gym. We were just not working out.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

On the internet it’s super easy to take credit for stuff you had nothing to do with. That’s why I invented it.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

If cats could text you back, they wouldn’t.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

I’ll never tell anyone your secret because that would mean talking to people.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

Updated

56 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Threads:

Dancing alone in your home is its own kind of therapy.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Sometimes you send an email that requires a response, and the other person writes back right away, and it’s like NO NOT YET.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I need a break from me.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I would go out more if there weren’t any humans out there.

Reported on LinkedIn:

My favorite part of leaving the house is looking forward to going home.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Meteorologists are always talking about the weather and hardly ever about meteors.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Men love to show you a YouTube video. It is a sign of deep respect in their culture.

Just shared via Telegram:

Girl math is crying for two hours and then realizing it wasn’t that deep.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Autocorrect has become our worst enema.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

My wife and I always eat dinner as fast as possible so we can have a popsicle.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

Updated

56 minutes ago

Users Online

3,439

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? I don’t even know where I am right now.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Best friends: they know how crazy you are but still choose to be seen in public with you.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

For someone who is afraid of failure, I’m very unmotivated.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Meow means woof in cat.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Why does the phone ring longer when you’re ignoring the call?

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

When I was little, I didn’t care what I wore. I just went along with what my parents chose. When I look in old photo albums, l realize that they didn’t care either.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you’re shopping for something else because they just won’t budge.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Everyone is all “love is patient” during the wedding, but when there’s a long line for the open bar, not so much.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

If you can’t laugh at yourself, I will.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

I use a headshot from 2008 on my LinkedIn to prepare future employers for disappointment.

Live now on X:

You’re an atheist? Well, I don’t believe you. See how you like it.

Live now on YouTube:

Just because your parents planned you doesn’t mean you weren’t a mistake.

Spotted on Reddit:

Everyone’s a gangster until the grocery store switches their aisles around.

Just landed via Twitch:

I switched from coffee to orange juice and told my doctor I felt better. He said it’s the vitamin C and natural sugars, but I think it’s the vodka.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I have no desire to work now. I had five days off in a row where I dined at a feast and was entertained at a cinema. I have flown too high to return to a laptop.

Freshly posted on Discord:

If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.

Live now on Facebook:

“I could see myself living here,” I said, in a different city for more than 24 hours.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Dating me is super easy. I text you at 8; you reply at 8:00:01.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I always work very hard and intensively to ensure that my wife can proudly say: “That idiot over there? Yes, that’s mine!”

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