Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Even if there’s a murderer behind me, finish chewing before you tell me.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

January-me would not believe the life I lived this year.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, you’re drunk. Ducks don’t talk.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

The cinema vibe is my favorite, you literally forget about the world for like 2-3 hours.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Lord of the Rings is a story about a brave little Hobbit on a mission to destroy a ring and save the world, and his annoying friend Frodo.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

My kids wanted a spooky story from the olden days so I told them the internet used to scream when you turned it on.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

The 80s were wild, man. You had bands naming themselves after predatory cats with hearing problems.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Jesus, I need money to organize your birthday.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Fun prank: make people study for many years, and then don’t give them jobs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,569

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

“She’s so self-centered”—who’s supposed to be the center of my life? You?

Making waves on Reddit:

The government even made aliens boring.

Going viral on Telegram:

The first person to realize you can eat bone marrow must have really hated that cow.

Seen just now on X:

I wish I could have a kid just to see what it looks like… and then put it back.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Always keep a dog eared book on your nightstand so that people think you know how to read.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I would like to thank my middle finger for always sticking up for me when I needed it.

Making waves on Messenger:

All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

If i had $5 for every time I said up yours to someone, my butler would be saying it for me.

Just shared via Telegram:

Accessories can really boost a woman’s self-confidence. For example, I know I would feel 10x sexier if I carried a sword with me at all times.

Shared recently on WeChat:

People often mistake me for an adult because of my age.

Funny decline quotes

Funny decline quotes 😂 are the perfect way to say no with a smile 😄! Whether you’re dodging awkward invites or gracefully bowing out of plans, these witty lines add a splash of humor 🎉 to every polite refusal. Ready to turn your declines into moments of laughter? Let’s dive into some playful comebacks that keep things light and funny! 🎭✨

New funny decline quotes 👇

All funny decline quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on Facebook this month:

I want him in ways that are deeply deeply upsetting to modern feminism.

13 shares on Snapchat this month:

I should’ve existed as a tree.

91 shares on Pinterest this month:

You can’t be everyone’s cup of tea, let them sip on their own bland brew.

13 shares on Instagram this month:

The worst person you know is studying psychology.

17 shares on Pinterest this month:

I never used to worry about death but now I’m terrified it will break my winning Wordle streak.

23 shares on TikTok this month:

They’re bluffing when they say you can still get knocked off the nice list this late in the game. Santa’s been delivering gifts in Japan for hours by now; that list is locked. Do whatever you want.

54 shares on Instagram this month:

Interesting people are my favorite endangered species.

85 shares on Telegram this month:

The zero likes won’t stop me from posting. I will talk to myself if I have to.

77 shares on Discord this month:

Clubbing is a phase that you must go through and get over.

59 shares on Messenger this month:

The difference between the Olympic village and a normal village is that not everyone in the Olympic village is related to each other.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Social media is a great way to make new enemies.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My teen would like you to know I ruined her life when I did her laundry today.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Shout out to all you people out there who get asked if you’re okay a lot even though that’s the only facial expression you have.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My neighbors listen to really good music, whether they like it or not.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

In your twenties, there may be love. It’s very important to ignore this love and pursue a master’s instead.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Just told my cat I’d give her 500 bucks to stop meowing.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Cover letters are so embarrassing. Why am I writing a love letter to this shitty company?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If idiots could fly, TikTok would be an airport.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I thought I liked seeing movies, but it turns out I like eating candy in a dark room where it’s illegal to talk to me.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

A woman’s sigh can speak a 1000 words.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,264

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

You should be able to mute someone in real life. Annoying coworker? Silence them for 24 hours by booping them on the nose!

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Whoever said having a crush is when you feel the most like Carrie Bradshaw was so real for that.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Preparing for my beach vacation by watching Jaws.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m at a place in my life when errands are starting to count as going out.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Attention to detail is so sexy, study me, baby.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

I’d be less aggressive in the morning if I could drive to work in a tank.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

When I get to work, I always hide first, because a good worker is always hard to find.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

I want to be in Metallica, and they will not let me.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Mixed signals mean they don’t like you like that. It’s that simple.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

I have this ability where I can look at someone’s profile picture and determine whether they are evil or not.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

I said “cool tattoo” to be nice not because I wanted to hear the 45 minute origin story.

Just shared via Threads:

Shoutout to everyone who remembers their childhood landline number but can’t recall the password they made yesterday. You’re my people.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Don’t wait for later to eat the cake. Do it now, before another mammal of your household finds it.

Seen just now on Telegram:

If you’re tired of “food” and want to try something a bit more sophisticated, may I recommend “cuisine”?

Trending via WeChat:

At the beginning of a relationship, people call their partner’s odd behavior “cute little quirks”. Some years later, the police call it “motive”.

Shared recently on Instagram:

“Don’t shoot your gun at the hurricane” the government says. I’ll do my own research, thanks.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I’m not a dietitian, but if you eat pizza right at midnight your body doesn’t know if the calories go towards yesterday or today so they don’t count.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

You want to know how old you really feel? Stop drinking caffeine and popping Ibuprofen. Then, just wait.

Going bananas on Instagram:

My dogs don’t feel earthquakes because they have constant gas.

Trending via Twitch:

My day starts backwards, I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake.

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