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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Some people can start a task and then just finish it instead of trying to do a hundred things at once, like a squirrel on crack.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Think about how many more lovers you’d have if a cross country high-speed rail existed. That’s what they are taking away from you.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Any room can be an escape room when you have diarrhea.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

You sound unhinged. Let’s go get mugshots.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

The sun is so successful because it has the perfect bedtime and morning routines.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

My husband needs a hearing aid, but refuses to get one because it’s the key to our happy marriage.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Odd—my boss told me to meet him at the abandoned quarry at midnight for my performance evaluation.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Starting conversations with short people by saying “back when I was your height…”

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Kinda rude when I spend money, and it actually leaves my bank account. But okay.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

It was me, I let the dogs out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

817 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,979

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,979

Updated

25 minutes ago

Users Online

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

There are real people living amongst us who pay for Discord Nitro.

Just shared via Snapchat:

They invented the word metallic, because irony was already taken.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I may not have lost all my marbles yet, but there’s a small hole in the bag somewhere.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I grew up in a kinder, gentler age. We pitied our fools.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Have kids so you can say things you never thought you would like “please don’t vacuum your sister”

Broadcasted on Slack:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok.” Well, I just made some shit up, and people believe me because I’m well read and use big words.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Twitter is an abusement park.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Men be like, “But I’m different.” Yeah, a different type of disappointment.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Release that sexual frustration, get a burger.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Halloween is the only day you can ghost someone and blame it on being festive.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

817 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,979

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,979

Updated

25 minutes ago

Users Online

3,435

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

This meeting could have been a push down the stairs.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

I don’t even get disappointed anymore. I’m just like, “Oh, again? Okay.”

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

My sleeping cycle is completely backwards. In the morning I feel sleepy and at night I can’t fall asleep.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

How much chocolate is too much chocolate before it is technically no longer a salad?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Your skull is the only thing preventing your brain from floating away, unburdened as it is by any meaningful thought to anchor it.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Sex is cool but have you ever had a king size bed all to yourself.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

This is actually worse than Biff Tennan’s future.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

I refuse to listen to anyone give commentary on the state of society unless it’s in a TikTok video filmed inside their car.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

My Saturday was going pretty well until I realized it was Sunday.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Nobody is more stressed than a person who has a lot of interests or passions and is still confused about their career.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I feel like people just come to the airport to cough.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I’d pretend to care about football for you.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Trust me; this is the second millennium I’ve lived in.

Breaking via Telegram:

Tuah Kill a Hawkingbird

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Well, maybe grass should touch me for once. How about that?

Making waves on Messenger:

Not to brag, but my best yoga pose is awkward facing dog.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Fries, not lies.

Just landed via Threads:

Are you a software update, because not now!

Spreading quickly via Discord:

As a teen: secretly drinking in the park with friends. As an adult: secretly drinking in the park with squirrels.

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