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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Using Twitter as a semi-vague posting journal for memory purposes.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

My teen being nice to me is getting really expensive.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Diarrhea. Having it. Spelling it. Everything about it is shit.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

My five-year plan only requires a few acts of God.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Adulthood is just saying “it is what it is,” and then crying in your car to a song from 2012.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Are you stupid, sand? You could just lay here forever on this beautiful beach, but no, you have to try with all you’ve got, to get into my shoes.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

People my age are raising children, and I’m just here trying to bribe myself with treats into doing my own chores.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

I need something good to watch while I’m on my phone.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m changing the game. I’m starting to thank people from the top of my heart.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,290

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Take me back to the night we met so I can never give you a chance.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Unfortunately, I don’t give ugly men a chance, because they wouldn’t give me one if I were the ugly one.

Spotted on Telegram:

Welcome to adulthood: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Going bananas on Messenger:

The pigeons are plotting to overthrow the government. It will start with a coo.

Just shared via Twitch:

Those guys holding fish in their dating profile pictures are just demonstrating how they’ll carry you over the threshold after marriage.

Making waves on WeChat:

Thursday is really unnecessary. Today could’ve been Friday.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Before the internet, people thought that there was only one idiot per town. We were so wrong.

Just shared via Messenger:

Sarcastically saying “you’re welcome” to the people who don’t say thank you when I hold the door for them is something I’ll never stop doing.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

December calories don’t count. That’s the law.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Sometimes you just need to eat shredded cheese straight out of the bag.

Funny Etsy quotes

Funny Etsy quotes bring a burst of laughter 🌟 to your creative shopping spree! Whether you’re a crafty genius 🎨 or just love quirky vibes, these witty sayings add charm and giggles to your day. Perfect for sharing, gifting, or brightening up your workspace 💡, they capture the playful spirit of Etsy’s handmade magic. Ready to smile and get inspired? Let the fun begin! 😄✨

New funny Etsy quotes 👇

All funny Etsy quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Pinterest this month:

This meeting could have been a cave painting.

81 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Thank God they have medical marijuana in this state. I need it for my joints.

99 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If social media has taught me anything, it’s that we are all crazy in a different way.

28 shares on Messenger this month:

I love how women can go from obsessed to not interested at all when a man makes that one wrong move.

96 shares on Messenger this month:

Nothing is smaller than the X on ads to click them away.

60 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You can talk about any topic for 30 mins if you’re a confident liar.

62 shares on X this month:

The problem is that younger me didn’t account for the fact that there’d be an older me.

52 shares on Reddit this month:

Yesterday, my boss asked me what I did for a living.

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I put the hot in psychotic.

32 shares on Instagram this month:

I never feel more alone than when I’m trying to put sunscreen on my back.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The secret to being a private person is to overshare dumb shit so people think you are an open book but then not tell them any of the important details of your life.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I watched a woman clean her whole house on YouTube today, in case you thought I lacked ambition.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Due to rising prices, Dollar Tree is changing their name to ‘Tree Fiddy’.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

You get your hands on a real serious pair of scissors and wonder what the hell they were doing with the regular ones.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here plucking chin hairs.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Has anyone seen my invisibility cloak?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Debugging is like being the detective in a crime where you are also the murderer. Following the clues of an idiot.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Out of all my body parts, I’m sure my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least 463 eye rolls a day.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m tired of being forced to eat microplastics. I’m ready for big plastics now.”

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not saying I’ve aged like fine wine, but I am currently being stored in a dark place and avoiding sunlight at all costs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,540

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

If I would’ve known that you were going to ask me what I was thinking, I wouldn’t have been thinking what I was thinking.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Worst part of being in my 20’s is to be reminded that I’m actually in my mid-40’s.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Wanna go back to my place and meow at each other?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

My mayor is Muslim, my bagels are Jewish, my Dior is Christian.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Waiting patiently for the alien invasion.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

We all need to put the phone down, or it’s over for civilization.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

August is almost over. September is next week. Time to pick out a Halloween costume and start your Christmas shopping. Happy New Year, everybody.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Picking up a hitchhiker is not worth the risk of being forced to make small talk with a stranger.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Put my height in bio. Hope it lands me a girlfriend.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

Headed to a wedding but my wife said I’m not allowed to refer to the bride as ‘the veiled threat.’

Freshly posted on Discord:

The man who invented autocorrect walks into a barn. He orders a bear.

Trending via Pinterest:

Do you think protein wants to be in all these things?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Airports are the perfect place to see people who are experiencing their first day on Earth.

Seen just now on Discord:

I don’t trust anyone who gets enraged over messed-up fast food orders.

Spotted on TikTok:

I hate checking my bank account after having a good time.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I love replying “Need him” when someone posts their boyfriend on their Instagram story.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I’m retired. I was tired yesterday and I’m tired again today.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I’m a private person except for when I’m publicly trauma dumping on social media.

Going viral on Messenger:

A person’s character can be read quite reliably from the way he or she interacts with service personnel.

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