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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Sorry I’m late. It’s just because of who I am as a person.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

The secret to a good marriage is that it’s all about give and take. Giving each other frequent back rubs and ordering lots of takeout.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

4 out 3 people struggle with math.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Okay, I’ve proved I’m not a robot, now you prove you’re not a human.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Bought a house plant so I wouldn’t be the only one dying of dehydration around here.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Like, who are those little paper umbrellas trying to protect?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

I’m not worried about WWIII. I’ve been feeding a crow army for three years.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Forget all this adulting stuff, let’s bring back Saturday morning cartoons.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

I’m going to hell in every religion.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

I have now spread out a blue tarpaulin in the garden. I want it to look like I have a pool on Google Maps.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

786 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,948

Funny Quotes Topics

13,918

Funny Quotes Images

10,948

28 minutes ago

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life.

Just landed via Facebook:

She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

Making waves on Reddit:

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

Just landed via Snapchat:

All my life lessons were learned by watching people who took my advice.

Reported on Reddit:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying, “What kind of trees are those?”

Making waves on Discord:

If they don’t look at you like you’re magic, disappear like Houdini.

Spotted on Telegram:

Expecting your first baby’s exciting, but have you ever ordered a new coffee machine?

Freshly posted on X:

Had salad for the third night in a row and now I get why you’re so angry, vegans.

Making waves on X:

That awkward moment when you have to pretend that you like the gift.

Spotted on Discord:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you started eating chips.

Home » Funny Everything Bagel Quotes

Funny everything bagel quotes

New funny everything bagel quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: What is Washington’s plan to make everything bagels less messy to eat?

Commentary:
It seems Washington is really focused on the important issues here – tackling the age-old problem of messy everything bagels! Perhaps his plan involves implementing tiny bagel bibs or creating a special bagel-eating etiquette course for all citizens. Either way, it's clear that Washington has his priorities straight when it comes to the most pressing matters of our time!

For even more funny everything bagel quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny everything bagel quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

786 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,948

Funny Quotes Topics

13,918

Funny Quotes Images

10,948

28 minutes ago

3,427

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

We go together like Drunk and Disorderly.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Hundreds, nay, thousands of movies about falling in love but only one movie about a beach that makes you old.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Typos is the Greek god of spelling errors.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

The amount I’m sighing these days could fuel a small wind farm.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

If you’re looking for another bad decision, I’m here.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

The most valuable breed of cow are the Cash.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

We can do things one of two ways. My way or my other way.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Men have nice skin because they stress out everyone but themselves.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

I love when really expensive products say, “apply generously,” like, of course, you would say that.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Kinda sucks that I actually own a skeleton but don’t get to show anyone until I die.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Threads:

Karma has taught me to never laugh at a stranger being attacked by a seagull.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Forget tagging friends, I want to be able to tag my enemies.

Just shared via X:

The ’90s were a time of blissful ignorance where we expected rock stars to sleep with groupies.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not a jar of Nutella.

Spotted on Reddit:

Video games are great. They let you try out your craziest fantasies. For example, on The Sims, you can have a job and a house.

Shared recently on Slack:

Everyone’s gangsta until they spot a double rainbow in the sky.

Going viral on Facebook:

I have poor night vision so I upgraded to LED headlights because it’s important to me to ensure nobody else can see either.

Just landed via Facebook:

Living your life to the fullest does not have to involve selfies with bison.

Going viral on Telegram:

Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they “can’t make it to the phone right now.” You carry the phone with you. It’s the only constant in your life.

Trending via Messenger:

I know how to use an abacus as a tambourine.

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