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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Wife asked if I could stop singing Wonderwall. I said maybe…

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

My first rodeo and my last rodeo were the same rodeo.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

I’m not starting a presentation with “ladies and gentlemen”, I’m using the gender neutral “to those who heed my warnings”.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

I wish I had a friend like me.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

I have this ability where I can look at someone’s profile picture and determine whether they are evil or not.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

I’m one of those lucky people that can eat whatever they want and not put on any clothes.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

I keep checking my phone like I mean something to somebody. Silly me.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Desperately seeking my soul, mate.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Thank you for the opportunity but I don’t think being human is a good fit for me. I’m going to go back to school to become an octopus.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

I’m not sure my body can handle much more of this “getting out of bed” nonsense.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,352

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Whoever removed the 30th and 31st from February, come get the 14th too.

Live now on Slack:

The lion does not concern himself with divorce papers.

Going viral on Messenger:

I need an emergency cheeseburger.

Spotted on Pinterest:

God forbid a girl uses shopping as her coping mechanism.

Live now on Pinterest:

Can’t believe, as a kid, I thought 21-year-olds had their lives figured out.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Your email finds me deeply unwell. Teetering on the edge really.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I just can’t watch football, there’s too much “penetration in the backfield” for me to not giggle like an immature maniac.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I think every app should, by law, let you deactivate all of its short-form video content.

Breaking via Facebook:

Ctrl Alt delete my fat.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

My goal weight is getting a magician to saw me in half.

Funny excess quotes

Funny excess quotes are here to tickle your funny bone and celebrate going a little over the top! 🎉 Whether it’s too much food, wild parties, or extra everything, these hilarious lines capture the joy of living life to the fullest (and then some) 😂🔥 Ready to laugh at the art of overdoing it? Let’s dive into the world where more is definitely more! 🚀🍕🎊

New funny excess quotes 👇

All funny excess quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on Reddit this month:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I’d have to do.

57 shares on YouTube this month:

The first Humans saw the sun go up and then back down, and so they decided to call it a day.

29 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You can tell they named the aardvark early in the week and the anteater on a Friday.

12 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t mind pulling your cart — I’ve been chasing the carrot anyway, and it’s in the same direction.

46 shares on Threads this month:

The Netflix “Recommended For You” list is why I have trust issues.

89 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m trying to be awesome today, but I’m too exhausted from being so awesome yesterday.

32 shares on Snapchat this month:

Whoever came up with the spelling for “receipt” was an idiopt.

74 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Bro, are you a black hole, because you suck energy and light?

72 shares on Telegram this month:

British people be like “I’m Bri ish” cause they drank the “T”

84 shares on Twitch this month:

Love is not pushing them down the stairs when you have the opportunity.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If a tree falls in a forest and doesn’t make a sound, maybe that’s where your kid should be practicing the piano.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Just so you know, what you now call an energy bar is what my father gave the canary.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

These people act like they’ve never seen anyone wearing a Speedo in a laundromat before.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Whenever I go down the stairs next to an escalator, I always move faster than the escalator to prove to the people I made the better decision.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is short, unless you’re listening to a kid describing an episode of PAW Patrol.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Establish dominance by maintaining eye contact whilst twerking.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t believe there was a time in my life when someone had to make me take a nap.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

That little pocket on jeans is the perfect size for the money I have left over after I pay all my bills.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

When I get married, I want my wedding video to be filmed like it’s an episode of The Office. I want camera zooms, eye contact, side commentary— all of it.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Grandma complained that with age, her joints were getting weaker. Told her to just roll them a little tighter.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,641

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Here’s a question for all the mind readers out there.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

I’d rather you don’t watch me while I’m liking my own post.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

I’ve been closer to death than a stable relationship.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Zoom is really only for one thing: realizing our dream of staring at ourselves while talking to other people.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Is there a rehab for introverts who try to extrovert? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

I’d rather be spotted in a strip club than a Subway.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m basically the human version of tangled up Christmas lights.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

My favorite kind of gender reveal is the one where the parents find out, and they just tell everyone through text instead of making me go to a party.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Lady on the streets, Cheeto crumbs in my sheets.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Slack:

Babe, are you ok? You’ve barely talked about the horrors of being alive.

Just shared via Instagram:

The world would be a much nicer place if we just turn off the news.

Just landed via YouTube:

Dance like nobody’s watching, except God, the NSA, and Santa Claus.

Just landed via Facebook:

“I made this with AI.” Yeah, we can tell.

Spreading quickly via X:

If I were Juliet, I would NOT be pleased to find a man standing under my balcony at midnight. Sir, I am in my jim-jams.

Seen just now on TikTok:

If only my bank balance was as high as my daily calorie intake.

Spotted on Instagram:

Your child learning to say mommy is when your life begins and ends.

Just shared via Threads:

Unfortunately, I’m not nonchalant or mysterious. I’m just a naturally awkward person who becomes talkative once I’m comfortable.

Trending via Slack:

The best part of Thanksgiving is being with family and friends, and a vast array of pies.

Just shared via Snapchat:

What is that job called where you put the little stickers on fruit? I think I would be good at that.

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