Commentary:
"Behind every hilarious man, there's a woman perfecting her eye-roll game like a champ. 🙄😂 #EyeRollQueen #ComedyCoupleGoals"
Tag Archives: 60 Funny eyes quotes
Dear nurses, you don’t have to announce my weight, just write it down. That’s why I have my eyes closed when I’m on the scale.
Commentary:
"Dear nurses, please respect our dignity and save us from the 'Weight Announcement Ceremony'! 🤐😂 Let's keep that number a secret between you, me, and the scale! 😅 #StealthyWeighIn"
Welcome to your 40s. Your eyes are now like a camera someone doesn’t know how to focus.
Commentary:
"Ah, the magical 40s where your eyes decide to go rogue and start playing their own game of focus and blur! 📸😄 It's like your vision decided to embrace the art of abstract photography just in time for midlife crisis shots! 🎨👁️🗨️ #BlurryButFabulous"
They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!
Commentary:
"Ah, the classic grocery store potty tax scheme! It's like a sneak attack on your wallet from the humble loaf of bread to the royal throne. 🍞💸💩 Keep those eyes peeled for the real MVPs of the grocery game – toilet paper and bank accounts!"
The eyes are the windows to the soul. A mustache is the front garden, and the mouth is that big pothole the council should do something about.
Commentary:
"Ah, the eyes shining bright like glittering windows to the soul 💫… but oh my! That robust mustache proclaiming 'welcome to the front garden' 🌳… and that big pothole of a mouth crying out for some city council intervention 🚧! A charming mix of character traits indeed! 😄"
I’m not a very good poker player cause my eyes turn into big dollar signs when I see that I have a good hand.
Commentary:
When this player has a good hand, you can practically see the dollar signs glowing in their eyes! 💰😂 Bet you can always tell when they've got something good up their sleeve – just look for the shimmer of those big money signs! 👀💲#PokerFaceFail
Men don’t eject their eyes from their sockets and yell awooga anymore.
Commentary:
Well, I guess the good ol' awooga days are behind us! 👀🚫🗣️ No more eye-popping shenanigans, just your regular, everyday dignity preservation. Times change, and so do the ways we express our amazement! 😉 #RIPawooga
The only thing longer than the opening ceremony of the Olympics is the opening ceremony of my eyes in the morning.
Commentary:
"Ah yes, the grand spectacle of the Olympics versus the epic production of waking up! 🎉☀️ Let the games begin – in both cases, may the coffee be strong and the snooze button weak! 😉"
Nothing is riskier than closing your eyes again in the morning for that extra minute of sleep.
Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle of choosing between sleep and productivity! 🛌⏰ Who knew that hitting snooze could be such a risky business? 😅 Better watch out for those extra Z's, they might just lead to a morning full of adventure… or a mad dash out the door! ⏳☕️"
Behind every robot that turns evil is an engineer who specifically installed red LEDs into the eyes just for this scenario.
Commentary:
Well, they say hindsight is 20/20, but apparently, engineers behind evil robots have 20 red LEDs instead! 🤖🔴 Always a good reminder to choose your lighting fixtures wisely, especially when plotting world domination. 😂👀