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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

The worst thing is finding out the “sweet guy” is just a lustful loser.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

My soulmate is chocolate cake.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a hot tub.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

My life is based on a true story.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Not to brag, but I just stood up without making a sound. Don’t be jealous.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

I now feel I’ve watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I’ll be able to successfully make it in prison.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

This salad tastes like I’d rather be fat.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

I’m like a semicolon, most people don’t know what to do with me.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Billionaires are so weird. What are you saving up for? Hell?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

I be like, “I needed this,” and it’s just me getting drunk.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,550

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

Going from “I can fix her” to “I don’t care if she lives or dies” in the same beer.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

There should be a three-day weekend: one day to do nothing, one day to do something, and one day to do laundry.

Making waves on Telegram:

The term “bisexual” is so confusing. Are you sexual twice a week or once every other week?

Just landed via Slack:

Give it to me straight, doc, what can I do to be healthier besides changing my entire lifestyle?

Just shared via X:

Welcome to your 40s: you get tired from sleeping now.

Spotted on Instagram:

I remember when the only in-flight movie choices were either you watched or you didn’t.

Just shared via X:

I wish flies spoke English, so I could say, ‘Hey, if you don’t leave right now, I am going to kill you so hard.’

Breaking via Instagram:

Bottle of Worcestershire sauce tipped over in my fridge. The mess is unpronounceable.

Trending via Discord:

Good morning, dickhead, your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.

Breaking via Discord:

How do you text “okay” but in the rudest way possible?

Funny farting quotes

Funny farting quotes 💨😂 bring a cheeky twist to everyday moments! Whether you’re trying to break the ice or just need a giggle, these witty one-liners turn a natural (and often awkward) bodily function into pure comedy gold 🤣💥. Ready to laugh out loud and embrace the silly side of life? Let’s dive into some hilariously honest truths about that sneaky little toot! 🎉💫

New funny farting quotes 👇

Some nights I stay up hella late just farting.

2 days ago

bodily, bodily function, farting, function, habit, humor, i, just, late, late night habit, night, nights, stay, staying, staying up late
I’ve mastered farting, and it be loud and quick, but the key is don’t make a face or look around, so people can’t pinpoint it to you. Just act natural.

2 months ago

act, advice, around, comedy, confidence, disguise, embarrassment, etiquette, face, farting, funny tips, humor, humor advice, just, key, loud, natural, people, prank, quick, social, social etiquette, tips

All funny farting quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on WeChat this month:

I hope the next time you’re stressed, it’s because you’re choosing between Japan, Bali, Switzerland, or the Maldives.

47 shares on TikTok this month:

I want to learn scuba diving but I’m terrified of the orchestral music in underwater documentaries.

76 shares on Facebook this month:

Saw a big spider crawl into my closet last night. He’s probably in there trying on all my clothes, acting like he’s me.

49 shares on Discord this month:

Why can’t opportunity just come back later?

53 shares on X this month:

And for my next trick, I’m going to miss you in a million unspoken ways.

64 shares on Messenger this month:

People see me spending money and think I’m rich. No, bro, I’m just irresponsible.

70 shares on YouTube this month:

A toddler in their “why” phase makes you realize how little you know.

89 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I have this ability where I can look at someone’s profile picture and determine whether they are evil or not.

86 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Our neighbor complained that our cat is always running through his garden. My father said: “Okay, I’ll tell her.”

37 shares on Discord this month:

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I have so much to offer. It’s all bad, but still.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag but this cashier is checking me out.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

For Halloween, I wanna be loved.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

First date idea: you rescue me out of the tree I got stuck in while looking through your windows.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The older I get, the more I understand why Grumpy Old Men exist.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s protein in foods that have never been protein before.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Almost all of my bad decisions are food-related.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

When is this robot army coming to take my job?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is the black sheep of the web, always in the corner, loudly arguing with itself.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

It turns out when someone asks who your favorite child is, you’re supposed to choose from your own. I know that now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,440

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

My dentist said my teeth were stained and asked if I smoke or drink coffee? I said, “I drink it.”

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

The amount of sleeping I’ve done over the past few days has been phenomenal. I genuinely love doing absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Ok. I blinked 182 times. What happens now?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Find someone who looks at you the way I look at a cheeseburger.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

One person’s logic is another one’s “what the heck?”

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Enjoying the consequences of my actions.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Am I just an Untitled Document to you?

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

How can people lift weights? My arms get tired just by putting my hair up in a ponytail.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Called off work. Feeling fat and wearing jeans.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Being a woman is trying to guess what the hell is going on with your body three times a week.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

I don’t understand the desire to rock climb. We have stairs for that now. Problem solved.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

All my life choices led me to this post right here, and if that’s not an indictment of free will, I don’t know what is.

Making waves on X:

I can’t believe I was arrested for impersonating a politician. I was just sitting there doing nothing.

Freshly posted on Slack:

If I were God, I’d tell everyone that I created the animals and that I don’t know what happened after that.

Shared recently on Discord:

If you think Dry January is hard, wait until you try Abstinence August.

Live now on Twitch:

I deal with my personal problems the same way I study for tests, I don’t.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Home is where you trust the toilet seats.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I was always told to eat all my food so that I’d grow to be big and strong. When exactly does the strong part kick in?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I may look fine on the outside, but on the inside I’m hungry again.

Just shared via Messenger:

A weekend spent doing nothing is a weekend well spent.

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