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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Guys with grey in their beards will do that thing you like.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

“The heart wants what the heart wants,” I whisper as I slowly walk up to the dessert table.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

I have a sundress and no man to bend me over in it, sad day.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Long-term relationship? Like Tom and Jerry?

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Therapy? You mean birdwatching.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Good morning to everyone who still believes what they see with their own two eyes.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Any tips on being smart? For someone just getting into thinking.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Everyone’s a gangster until their doorbell rings.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

I hate when I get ready too quickly and have to sit on the couch, fully dressed, and wait like an idiot.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Starting my period on election day because I’m a true patriot who bleeds for this country.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,497

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Reddit:

They should invent a DoorDash but for a kiss goodnight and getting tucked in.

Going viral on Slack:

On the upside, my kids are helping with the dishes. On the downside, my kids are helping with the dishes.

Just shared via Instagram:

All day I think about sleep but when it’s time to go to bed I don’t wanna.

Spotted on X:

Hey babe, wanna come over and fold me like a fitted sheet?

Making waves on Facebook:

Just once I’d like to hear a doctor say, “Your guess is as good as mine.”

Shared recently on Telegram:

Just blocked someone for correcting my spelling and it feelded great.

Making waves on Discord:

That made me feel good. I think I’ll become addicted.

Freshly posted on Discord:

“Bye, have a great day, I’ll see you after school”, I tell the orange in my kid’s lunch.

Just shared via Messenger:

God: “You’re all really bad at this.”

Breaking via Messenger:

Sometimes I worry that avoiding all human interaction isn’t a real hobby.

Funny fight club quotes

Funny fight club quotes 🥊😂 bring a hilarious twist to the intense world of underground brawls! Whether you’re a fan of clever one-liners or witty comebacks, these gems pack a punch that’s all about laughs, not bruises 🤣✨. Ready to lighten the mood and crack a smile? Dive into the funniest moments that prove even in a fight club, humor always wins! 😎🔥

New funny fight club quotes 👇

All funny fight club quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on Instagram this month:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely responded to my telepathic messages.

86 shares on Pinterest this month:

Not gonna lie, the age I’m turning this year sounds a little serious, and I don’t like it.

19 shares on Reddit this month:

I think my boss is delusional; he keeps shaking his head and calls me Jesus Christ.

59 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own stuff.

97 shares on Pinterest this month:

The lion does not concern himself with social proof.

46 shares on WhatsApp this month:

So cool that avocados come with those little wooden balls inside, I think I have collected the whole set.

48 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m trying to be awesome today, but I’m too exhausted from being so awesome yesterday.

41 shares on Discord this month:

“I’m like Sisyphus but with dishes. Dishyphus.”

78 shares on Slack this month:

I drive safer when there’s food in my passenger’s seat than when there’s a person sitting there.

21 shares on Facebook this month:

Welcome to your 40’s: it’s ten years of people saying “wait until you’re 50”.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s time for basic human empathy to make a comeback.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

That uncle who kept his distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense to you as you get older.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing ruins your weekend faster than remembering Monday is lurking in the shadows.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Yes, liquor store clerk, I do need help. But I decided to come here instead.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I worry a lot about the wild animals in my neighborhood, but I’m beginning to think they don’t worry about me.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

On a dare, my son sprayed deodorant in his mouth. Now he speaks with an Axe scent.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If you pass out in front of your kids they will either try to call an ambulance or use you as a trampoline. You just don’t know.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I consider the second page of Google results the dark web.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The trick is to not let people know how weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I love hard, but I stupid harder.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,634

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Arguing through text will have you standing in one spot for 40 mins.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Nobody ever talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah were walkable cities.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

The void screams into me.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Everybody’s back hurts until it’s time to have sexy time.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Probably the worst thing about pyramid schemes is how they make you advertise to all your friends and family that you are part of a pyramid scheme.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

My workout is reading in bed until my arms hurt.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

I am cool with January lasting forever because rent is due February 1.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

I don’t follow washing instructions, you’re my clothes you don’t tell me what to do.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

McDonald’s will “anything else” you to death. Can you wait a McMinute?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

God, please — if you don’t want someone to love me, at least make me a millionaire.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I did vote once but only because I thought the line was to a buffet.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Crossing my fingers one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

Just landed via Discord:

It’s so beautiful when two real perverts find each other.

Just landed via Telegram:

Thinking about taking some time off to focus on cheese.

Just landed via Facebook:

Do you say “Excuse me” to your pet when you walk by them, or are you rude?

Just shared via X:

“Yeah no” is my favorite combo.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

You give a man your heart and he’s gonna put it under another girl’s picture.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Mad that so many renaissance artists were named after ninja turtles.

Breaking via YouTube:

Did anyone else use grocery bags as textbook covers, or was I just that poor?

Trending via LinkedIn:

You’re old if you’re excited to learn how to play Mahjong.

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