Commentary:
"Seeking advice from seven friends just to make them feel included before doing exactly what we were going to do all along 🤷♂️🙃 #TrustYourInstincts"
400 Funny going quotes
Deleted all dating apps, instead I’m just going to walk into a grocery store and look confused.
Commentary:
"Who needs swiping left or right when you can just aimlessly wander the aisles of a grocery store in search of romance? 🛒🤔 Who knows, you might just find your soulmate lost in the frozen foods section! ❄️😆 #LoveInTheProduceAisle"
Nothing worse than when I turn up to Park Run to find it is indeed going ahead.
Commentary:
"Ah, the dreaded realization of waking up early on a Saturday morning only to discover that the Park Run is ON! 🏃♂️🤦♀️ It's a conspiracy I tell you, a sneaky plot to make us exercise! 😅 #NotTheSaturdayStruggleWeSignedUpFor"
I’ve been heading in the wrong direction for most of my life, but since the earth is round, I’m just going to stick with it and see it through.
Commentary:
"Who says taking the scenic route isn't a valid life strategy? 🌍 Keep on circling that globe, my friend! Maybe you'll stumble upon some hidden treasures along the way…or at least a good snack stop! 🌮😄"
If the universe is continuing to expand then why does my rent keep going up?
Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal mystery of cosmic inflation vs. rental inflation 🌌📈 Maybe our landlords are secretly the architects of the expanding universe? 🤔💸 #RentIsOutOfThisWorld"
Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.
Commentary:
"Feeling optimistic? 🌟 Don't worry, life has a surplus of surprises lined up just for you! 🎁 Remember, disappointment is just another way of life saying 'plot twist'! 🔄 Keep marching on, your next letdown could be just around the corner! 🚶♂️💔"
Instead of renting an apartment, I’m going to save up for a lighthouse and go insane in it.
Commentary:
"Oh, the iconic lighthouse life! 🏠🤪 Who needs neighbors when you can have seagulls and solitude instead? 🌊 Just make sure you stock up on enough tea and books to keep your sanity afloat! ☕📚"
I wonder if the sun also takes pictures of humanity going down?
Commentary:
Hmm, good question! 🌞📸 Maybe the sun is just out there, photobombing our planet's sunsets with its own camera obscura. Just imagine all the Instagram filters it must have up its fiery sleeves! 🔥🤳 #SunsetSelfies
‘You’re going to die alone!’ Okay, when did dying become a group project?
Commentary:
"Oh, dying became a group project when I started working on my own fabulous exit plan! 💁♂️💀 Who needs a team when you can rock the afterlife solo? 😂 #IndependentDeparture"
If I ever die on some hill, rest assured, something fishy is going on.
Commentary:
"If my demise involves a hill and a fishy situation, it's safe to say I didn't go down without a trout 😉🐟 #FishyBusiness"