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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ί has shared:

I thought there was a spider on the rug but it was just yarn. It’s dead yarn now though.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡° has viewed:

I’ve just learned terrible news. My department at work is planning a team-building retreat. Thank you for your thoughts during this difficult time.

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡Ή has bookmarked:

I’m always best at the things I shouldn’t do.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡° has bookmarked:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had a can opener that actually works?

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡» has downloaded:

God created childbirth so women could know how men feel when we have a cold.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Ό has shared:

β€œYou let your cat on the bed?” I would put her on my life insurance.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡­ has copied:

I was so locked in, to the point where we were tongue-kissing with morning breath.

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡΅ has downloaded:

God, I wish I had enough money to discover it doesn’t make me happy.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ώ has copied:

My favorite things about Texas are definitely toast and chainsaw massacres.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡­ has shared:

There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,391

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Going viral on Telegram:

Never trust a man that’s good at flirting. He’s had too much practice.

Shared recently on Threads:

Can you check if my lips taste like cherries?

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Grant me the serenity to supernaturally change the things I cannot accept.

Shared recently on X:

Ever since I turned 20, someone is always in Japan or Italy. Is it like this forever?

Live now on Messenger:

Pro tip: Avoid the news for a couple of days and have some fun.

Trending via Telegram:

One thing I miss about the pandemic is getting to rip my mask off like I just botched a surgery.

Making waves on WeChat:

Not to brag, but I can put my socks on without sitting down.

Shared recently on WeChat:

That’s me in the corner eating Nutella with a spoon.

Spreading quickly via X:

The cold water does not get warmer if you jump late.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I want a president who promises no jobs. I don’t want to have a job.

Funny goods quotes

Funny goods quotes bring a burst of laughter πŸ˜‚ to everyday items, turning ordinary things into hilarious treasures πŸŽ‰. Whether you’re shopping for quirky gifts 🎁 or just need a chuckle πŸ˜„, these witty sayings add personality and fun to any product. Get ready to smile, giggle, and maybe even share a clever line or two with friends! 😜✨

New funny goods quotes πŸ‘‡

All funny goods quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes πŸ‘Œ

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Telegram this month:

The only narcissist I allow in my life is my cat.

59 shares on Telegram this month:

Halloween candy isn’t bad for you if you keep it in a salad bowl.

78 shares on Instagram this month:

My entire life changed once I found out that a crush is just a lack of information.

61 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My body is a temple. An ancient, creaky temple with questionable plumbing.

97 shares on Slack this month:

In my 20’s: I want to find true love. In my 40’s: I just want a toaster that gets me.

36 shares on WeChat this month:

People keep wishing January was over like the worst month of the year isn’t coming up next. Thats like wishing someone would stop arguing with you and just punch you in the face.

49 shares on Discord this month:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying works.

59 shares on Reddit this month:

Don’t give up on your dreams. Go back to bed.

19 shares on Twitch this month:

My sneeze is the reason people in the middle ages believed sneezing was caused by demon possession.

92 shares on Telegram this month:

Just found out that rock bottom has a basement.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

My life goal is to make you feel as awkward or awesome as you are making me feel.

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

A Twitter swear jar could end world hunger.

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

If my neighbors keep fighting like this, I might need to cancel some of my streaming services.

23 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Deleting dating apps to meet someone the old-fashioned way (in the HR department).

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.

8 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’ve worn oversized T-shirts so much that I suffocate if I wear one that actually fits.

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

It’s so hot, I just saw a squirrel fanning its nuts.

8 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

There are 400 billion stars in our galaxy and perhaps two trillion galaxies in total, and I just wonder if Miss Universe fully understands her achievement.

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

A sandwich has the power to change your entire life.

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Remember when you could lay in one position for hours, now you have to rotate like a rotisserie chicken every 15 minutes or a hip hurts.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,353

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡² has downloaded:

Please pray for my husband, he’s struggling to find me.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡­ has bookmarked:

People my age are parenting actual humans, and I’m over here promising myself snacks if I fold the laundry.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ή has shared:

Fun fact: If Celine Dion sang only the vowels in her name, it would be the lyrics to Old McDonalds Farm.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡ͺ has viewed:

Why do birds love going apeshit first thing in the morning?

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡¦ has bookmarked:

I thrive in a waiting room. You need me to sit in a chair and look at my phone? No worries, love, I do this at home.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ί has shared:

If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡½ has bookmarked:

Ginger ale is the champagne of soda.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡ͺ has downloaded:

I was an ugly baby. It’s been downhill since then.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¬ has copied:

My New Year’s resolution is to be less presumptuous and rude to others. I’ll bet yours is to lose weight, isn’t it?

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡³ has copied:

The delivery guy absolutely hates it when I call him my pizza mule.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Trending via Twitch:

The egg doesn’t swim to the sperm, girl. Never chase a man.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Dads hate stopping on road trips because then all of the vehicles they worked hard to pass for the last hour get back ahead of them.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

God, never seen San Francisco this bad. Spiderwebs completely covering entire business, skeletons just strewn about sidewalks in every neighborhood. Things have got to change!

Going viral on LinkedIn:

“Get a life!” Have you seen some of the lives out there?

Making waves on Pinterest:

Iced coffee and crying, the most Californian afternoon.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Twitter is the only place you argue with CEOs and heads of states while sleeping in the kitchen.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

The medicine for headache goes to the stomach to do what, exactly?

Going viral on Telegram:

People who quit their jobs before having a backup job lined up ain’t scared of nothing.

Spotted on Snapchat:

The most valuable breed of cow are the Cash.

Going viral on Discord:

Women are like a fitted sheet. No matter what you do or how hard you try, they just never seem to cooperate.

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