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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ό has shared:

I want the job where I push scared skydivers out of planes.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡¦ has copied:

Kinda sucks that I actually own a skeleton but don’t get to show anyone until I die.

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡³ has bookmarked:

I often wonder how men could discover entire continents. Mine can’t even find the butter in the fridge.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡· has viewed:

You know you’re old when you you barely do anything all day, but still need a nap to continue doing barely anything.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡§ has copied:

Washing mushrooms is the quickest way to figure out exactly how much dirt you’re okay with eating.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¦ has downloaded:

Daylight savings is just a made up holiday to sell more daylight.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡¬ has bookmarked:

Please go out, have fun, have friends, make connections. That mysterious lifestyle won’t save you.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡― has viewed:

Pilots lowkey have an aura when they walk past you in the airport.

Someone from πŸ‡ΌπŸ‡Έ has copied:

It really cannot be overstated how many of your problems disappear once you have a beautiful woman who is in love with you.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡ͺ has shared:

You can name literally any food or drink to the dentist and they’ll be like β€œohhh, that’s actually so bad for your teeth. You should only eat water and toothpaste.”

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,693

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I like my messages, how I like my nuts – MIXED.

Shared recently on Threads:

You ever wake up from your dreams impressed? Like, damn, that narrative structure was phenomenal.

Seen just now on Slack:

But what if I don’t want someone that’s good for me?

Spotted on Messenger:

Situation monitoring is not for the uncaffeinated.

Breaking via Messenger:

That uncontrollable urge to hurt myself and others when a film’s subtitles are slightly out of sync.

Spotted on Facebook:

I used to think the cat was dumb for staring out the window, waiting for birds, but I’d probably stare too, if occasionally a pizza flew by.

Trending via Messenger:

Gambling is all about getting something for nothing and spending thousands of dollars trying to do it.

Live now on Twitch:

Sorry I’m late. It’s just because of who I am as a person.

Spotted on WeChat:

I did 30 minutes of chores, time for a 7-hour break.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I still get so surprised every time someone I find attractive finds me attractive. Like, are you sure?

Funny Goofy quotes

Funny Goofy quotes bring a splash of laughter and silliness to your day πŸΆπŸ˜‚! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up or some lighthearted fun, these goofy gems are sure to brighten your mood πŸŒŸπŸŽ‰. Dive into the world of this lovable, clumsy character and let his quirky wisdom and playful spirit put a smile on your face πŸ˜„πŸ₯³! Get ready to giggle and embrace the joy of pure goofiness!

New funny Goofy quotes πŸ‘‡

All funny Goofy quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes πŸ‘Œ

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on Messenger this month:

The history of mankind would have been completely different if Adam and Eve had been Chinese. They would have left the apple hanging and eaten the snake.

65 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sure, I could keep my thoughts to myself but I can’t see β€œLikes” in my journal.

23 shares on Reddit this month:

The lion doesn’t concern himself with credit card debt.

38 shares on Reddit this month:

My teen is asking for noise-cancelling headphones like I’m going to give him the gift of ignoring me better.

38 shares on TikTok this month:

If I’m ever in a coma, please put chapstick on my lips.

36 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Any cults got something wild planned anytime soon? I’m trying to find the good estate sales.

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can’t remember why I walked into the kitchen.

25 shares on Instagram this month:

Boy, are you a piΓ±ata? Because I have an overwhelming urge to beat you with a stick.

98 shares on Snapchat this month:

Do people still actually eat 3 meals a day, or do we all just survive off of stress and iced coffee?

81 shares on Reddit this month:

If you get drunk and message your ex, don’t worry. When you wake up, send bitcoin ads and pretend you were hacked.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Nobody knows my next move. Not even me.

10 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Just had a salad but it didn’t make me laugh like women in stock photos.

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Sorry about my behavior as of late. I have plastic in my brain.

20 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I need one of those jobs they have in sitcoms, where it pays my rent but interferes with exactly zero of my social plans or situations.

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Adulthood is just waking up tired one day, and then being tired forever after that.

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’m 45% coffee, 40% wine and 6% cheese.

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Sometimes I’ll call in, disguise my voice, and insist on speaking to me, or I’ll take my business elsewhere.

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Having little kids is great because I love spending hundreds of dollars each week to feed my floor and my trash can.

18 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Monday: The only day when you can wear the same outfit from the day before without anyone noticing.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

How did they call Deadpool’s dog β€˜Dogpool’ when β€˜Deadpoodle’ was right there?

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,601

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡¬ has viewed:

I don’t call them exes, I call them whys.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡© has copied:

Do you scroll through Netflix to find a good show for your dog to watch when you leave the house or are you normal?

Someone from πŸ‡«πŸ‡² has viewed:

A song that hits so hard it makes you want a cigarette.

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡΅ has shared:

Wine drunk doesn’t even make itself known. You’re just relaxed, and then, all of a sudden, you feel sexier.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ό has viewed:

If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡· has bookmarked:

If biscuits were slimming and contained every nutrient the human body needs, I’d be in terrific shape.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ύ has bookmarked:

He just walked right into my heart and switched on the lights.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡± has downloaded:

A degree in international law is about as real as a degree in Dothraki.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡± has bookmarked:

I might not be able to speak another language but I can speak English slower!

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡° has bookmarked:

It ain’t easy being America’s sweetheart during these dark times, but someone gotta do it!

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Trending via Reddit:

It’s been a pleasure miscommunicating with you.

Just landed via Telegram:

I was actually a little too thankful yesterday so today I’m going to even it out with some ungratefulness and entitlement.

Just landed via WeChat:

The sexual orientation where you’re attracted to both and men and women but they’re not attracted to you is called Bi-yourself.

Just landed via WeChat:

The cheapest way to fly is off the handle.

Just shared via TikTok:

I get it dogs, I wish I could also bark at strangers approaching my house.

Going viral on Discord:

Many people love saying, “Get these away from me,” after eating a few chips.

Making waves on YouTube:

I used to be cool and now I say things like β€œIt’s so loud in here, I can’t hear myself think”.

Making waves on Discord:

Passwords are like underwear: You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

So proud of my ancestors for crawling out of the sea and evolving lungs. Pretty disappointed in them ever since though.

Seen just now on Threads:

Sometimes I wish I understood what some of you said and sometimes I am happy that I don’t.

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