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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

I hate the saying: “Get up, the sun is shining!” What am I supposed to do? Photosynthesis?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

I went downstairs to get my charger. I came back up with a bowl of ice cream and no charger.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

The secret to my success is everywhere I go I wear a shirt that says STAFF on the back.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Being in college when The Chainsmokers dropped Closer was an experience to say the least.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

“I’m at a point in my life where my favorite thing to do is nothing.”

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I’m gonna need everybody to stop living here.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Remember those days when you missed school and you’d check the time and think, “They’re eating right now.”

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

I keep pressing the space bar, but I’m still on Earth.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

I thought I had more straws. Sorry, turns out that was the last one.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,485

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

Whenever an insect rides for miles on my car, I imagine it thinking: “Oh crap, moving again!”

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Don’t give up on your dreams. If cauliflower can be pizza and zucchini can be noodles, you too can be anything you want.

Just shared via Slack:

The only thing smart about you is your wisdom tooth.

Live now on Slack:

If one door opens when another door closes, your house is probably haunted.

Going viral on X:

People should be able to call in healthy: “Look, I’m not coming into the office today. I feel really good and I don’t want to waste it on being at work.“

Spotted on WeChat:

Home is where the Wi-Fi connects automatically and no one chews loud.

Making waves on TikTok:

Films and television have led me to believe that masquerade balls have a higher mortality rate than most wars.

Making waves on TikTok:

I live in constant fear of being asked to repeat what you just said after I say I’m listening.

Seen just now on X:

If you ever think you can solve a parenting problem by doing the opposite of what didn’t work last time, the universe will just be like “Lol, nice try, dummy!”

Going viral on Instagram:

Wearing a condom while she’s on birth control is called two-factor authentication.

Funny Goofy quotes

Funny Goofy quotes bring a splash of laughter and silliness to your day 🐶😂! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up or some lighthearted fun, these goofy gems are sure to brighten your mood 🌟🎉. Dive into the world of this lovable, clumsy character and let his quirky wisdom and playful spirit put a smile on your face 😄🥳! Get ready to giggle and embrace the joy of pure goofiness!

New funny Goofy quotes 👇

All funny Goofy quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on Snapchat this month:

Telling my coworkers I can’t talk in meetings today because I need to save my voice for concerts this weekend.

99 shares on Discord this month:

Note to self: No more bitching about ugly furniture with people at IKEA whose home you haven’t been to yet.

36 shares on Threads this month:

All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

52 shares on X this month:

You know you’re getting old when you’re entering your birth year online and you need to spin that thing like you’re on wheel of fortune.

36 shares on X this month:

I wish more modern politics were about trying to stop the fulfillment of an ancient prophecy.

17 shares on TikTok this month:

If you can stand me, you deserve me!

66 shares on Messenger this month:

Legend says that when you’re overwhelmed and on the edge of a nervous breakdown, a small child will appear and tell you that you made their sandwich wrong.

61 shares on Twitch this month:

Date idea: you hold my hand while I call the dentist and you tell me I’m so brave.

36 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Hey Grok, scan through all my mutuals and find me a girlfriend, thanks!

75 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Monday is already sending me threatening glances from across the room.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t believe I slept good all night. What a rush.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I want to learn scuba diving but I’m terrified of the orchestral music in underwater documentaries.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Being social sucks all my energy.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The real body count is how many people are in therapy because of you.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I withdraw my argument. I didn’t realize you had a meme to back you up.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

People say “go big or go home” like going home is a bad thing. Heck yeah, I want to go home, and I’ll have a nap when I get there.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Writers should get a direct line to the FBI so we can call them and give them a heads up when we’re googling ways to poison someone but just for a story.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

“Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” by “Wham” encourages you to do something you shouldn’t do.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Always be kind. You never know who might own a hot tub.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Actually, this email could’ve been a meeting. We could’ve spent an hour on the clock talking shit and gossiping. Someone could’ve brought bagels.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,454

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Being liked at work comes with so many perks, you could be late as hell, and everyone is just happy to see you.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Is it better to beat someone to the punch or punch someone to the beat?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Stupidity begins where irony is no longer understood.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

A 20% discount sounds great until you realize you can’t afford the other 80%

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

How many cups of coffee is OK to have every day? Is it eight? I’m pretty sure it’s eight.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make one wool sweater. I didn’t even know they knew how to knit.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Once you find humor in any situation, you have nothing to fear.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me using Microsoft Word, losing my revision.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

I don’t always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don’t know exactly what they do.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

The heels stay on during sex because I only painted the toe nails that were showing.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Avocado is just green butter.

Shared recently on X:

“Well, this is no good. How do I turn it off?” – The first primate to experience consciousness.

Spotted on Instagram:

Why do men have birthdays? It’s not like they’re growing up.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

My worst fear is dating someone who loves their ex like my exes love me.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.

Seen just now on X:

Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. Ironically, smoking bacon will cure it.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I’ve shouted so much sporting advice from my sofa already this summer. It’s very tiring but hopefully it’s helping.

Going viral on Twitch:

Phone is a cigarette for eyes.

Just landed via Facebook:

Calling the police when someone unfollows.

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