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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

I love when my husband says, “correct me if I’m wrong,” like I would pass up that opportunity.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

It’s so hot out, I just hydroplaned off the toilet seat at work.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

My IQ used to be higher than my weight, but now I’m fat and dumb.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Can we all agree that Mini Cooper drivers need to put an extended flag on the back of their cars so the stalls where they’re parked stop looking empty?

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

No one told me adulting would involve trying to avoid so many scams.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

I always wait 3 minutes after each post for the applause to die down.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Don’t invite me places. I was cesarean. I didn’t want to come out then and I certainly don’t want to now.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Yes, I do talk to myself, everyone else just wants to argue with me.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Human hibernation should be a thing.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

If you inject Botox into a raisin, does it turn back into a grape?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,675

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Mambo No. 5, but it’s in a minor key, and I’m naming women who didn’t text me back.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Hate when other parents at school drop off act like they’re better than me just because they remembered to bring all of their children.

Going viral on Messenger:

It’s like my wish isn’t even your command anymore…

Broadcasted on X:

There are two types of people at work: Those who work and those who have become pros at looking busy.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I hope your day is as nice as my ass.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

The opposite of “taking candy from a baby” is “putting sunscreen on a toddler.”

Just shared via Slack:

What an embarrassing time to be alive.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Once you realize I’m an idiot, my posts start to make a lot more sense.

Going viral on Messenger:

The lion doesn’t concern himself with credit card debt.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Eating trail mix should count as hiking.

Funny goth quotes

Funny goth quotes bring dark humor to life with a twist of spooky charm 🖤🦇 Perfect for anyone who loves to laugh while embracing their inner mystery and midnight vibes 🌙✨ Whether you’re a raven-haired rebel or just enjoy a bit of witty darkness, these clever lines will tickle your gothic soul and brighten your shadowy days! 😈💀 #GothGlowUp

New funny goth quotes 👇

All funny goth quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m so old that when I take a walk down memory lane, I get lost.

36 shares on X this month:

Don’t give up on your dreams. Go back to bed.

96 shares on WeChat this month:

As someone with OCD, I can’t help but respect how Pringles are just like, no, this is the order you must eat them in.

50 shares on Discord this month:

Anyone know which wine pairs well with societal collapse?

90 shares on Reddit this month:

Being a toddler’s favorite person is what real love actually looks like.

87 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I like to listen to the national anthems during the award ceremonies. I’m into country music.

14 shares on Facebook this month:

So apparently it’s still a DUI even if you’re the birthday boy.

14 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally.

82 shares on Slack this month:

Wiping my hands on my pants before I’m shaking someone’s hand, so they spend the rest of the day wondering what I just touched.

61 shares on WeChat this month:

Since I’ve stayed away from most people, I get on much better with people.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Your honor, if it pleases the court, here’s Wonderwall.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

First World War. Kind of nervous.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Blowing over it is also dusting.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

People who are on Twitter and put intelligent in their bio, good one.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I can’t help you move, my hands are in permanent air quotes.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

No revenge, but I hope you stutter every time you try to dirty talk with someone.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m an adult in the same way that Katy Perry is an astronaut.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I took some free community martial arts lessons for self-defense, but I’m starting to think Tai Chi is too slow for most muggers.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My tattoo means that I can’t be trusted with $200.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The question I ask myself most often is, “What would a jury think about this?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,583

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

I want someone to look at me the way I look at a travel booking website.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

(lost in the labyrinth and I’m wearing a Fitbit) Nice, got my 10,000 steps.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

I woke up, got out of bed, and had coffee. I think that’s enough for one day.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Teens be like, “This is the worst day of my life,” and it’s just that they were told to unload the dishwasher.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

If the only person you’re competing with is yourself, how could you lose?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Nothing has paid off less than learning to do the Macarena.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

I was always told to eat all my food so that I’d grow to be big and strong. When exactly does the strong part kick in?

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Tonight we shall read a passage from the old testicle.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Imagine if social media closed every day at 6pm like a shop.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Your odds are greater of being killed by a coconut rather than a shark and this is exactly why I don’t swim in coconut-infested waters.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

The Christmas tree I’ve had up all year makes a lot more sense now.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Don’t talk to me unless you are a ham sandwich.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Relationship status: We have changed from “I love you” to “I love YouTube”.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for a cauliflower cake, and I reported them for harmful content.

Live now on Discord:

My friend says to me, “What rhymes with orange?” And I told him, “No, it doesn’t.”

Breaking via Facebook:

At a certain age, all you really want is a good mattress.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Depression is embarrassing because sometimes it makes you miss appointments and not return phone calls, and when the fog starts to lift, you gotta do a whole bloody apology tour.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Ladies, if a man says he will fix something, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Y’all are single because y’all are looking for 90’s love in this sick generation.

Shared recently on Slack:

After all the books are banned, they’ll move on to suggestive fruit.

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