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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Old age comes at a bad time. Once you finally know everything, you start to forget everything you know.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Whoever was the first to shorten “Richard” down to “Dick” must have really hated that guy.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

So proud of my ancestors for crawling out of the sea and evolving lungs. Pretty disappointed in them ever since though.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

You can be under 25, just don’t do it around me.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

If she has Bukowski on her nightstand, she will devour you.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Once again, I have fallen for life’s biggest scam: being two hours early for a flight only for security to take roughly seven minutes.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Cursing after hitting oneself can reduce the pain by up to 50%.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Dec 12, 2025

4,017

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

Today is a wonderful day to leave me alone.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Love is like a bird. Sometimes flying around me but then moving on.

Breaking via Reddit:

Pilot is one of the few jobs where you can get fired for going above and beyond.

Spotted on Twitch:

Cleaning the rocks of the earth one load of my kids’ laundry at a time.

Trending via Snapchat:

No one declines an incoming call faster than a 3-year-old watching YouTube.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons, and 85% morons.

Shared recently on Slack:

Did you know that if a unicorn and I were to race, the unicorn would likely win cause unicorns are about as real as my desire to race anything?

Home » Funny Grandpa Quotes

Funny grandpa quotes

Funny grandpa quotes bring a smile 😄 and a chuckle 🤣 to anyone lucky enough to hear them! These witty gems capture the charm, wisdom, and hilarious quirks of grandpas everywhere 👴✨. Whether they’re teasing, sharing life lessons, or just being their lovable selves, grandpa’s humor is pure gold 🏆. Get ready to laugh out loud and appreciate the timeless joy only grandpas can deliver! 🎉💬

New funny grandpa quotes 👇

Our dog snores so loud, we had to rename him Grandpa.

1 month ago
dog, family, grandpa, humor, joke, loud, nickname, pet, snore
Sorry I can’t come today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandpa’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and it was tragic.

2 months ago
brother, died, excuse, fish, friend, friends, grandpa, grandson, humor, i, mother, sister, sorry, today, tragedy, uncle
Not a gold digger, but the other night a woman told me her grandpa owns a Christmas tree farm. That shit had me rubbing my hands like a fly.

3 months ago
Christmas, Christmas tree farm, digger, farm, flirting, fly, gold, gold digger, grandpa, hand, hand rubbing, hands, humor, me, night, rubbing, shit, told, tree, woman

All funny grandpa quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Dec 12, 2025

3,913

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

So annoying that in order to meet new people you need to go out and meet new people. Ideally, I would have known you in a past life.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Where have you been all of my life and can you please go back there?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

I visited my doctor today. He told me my sugar was too high. So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Hey, boy, are you the worst-case scenario? Because you’re all I think about.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

If you’re going through hell, keep going.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

The older I get, the less surprised I’d be if a random body part just fell off one day.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Mind if I crawl into your DMs and stay there for a while?

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Slack:

The Velvet Underground probably wouldn’t have been so influential if I was at their shows with a giant magnet and pulled their guitars out of their hands.

Making waves on Facebook:

My sneeze is the reason people in the middle ages believed sneezing was caused by demon possession.

Just landed via YouTube:

Does anyone else feel like their brain has a hundred tabs open at once?

Going viral on Slack:

If your first child is uncomplicated, then it’s a trick of nature to get you to have a second child. The second will be an unpredictable bundle of energy that seems to get by without sleep.

Making waves on Messenger:

I enjoy driving because it combines my desire to sit with my talent for being angry.

Trending via Twitch:

I just tried to poach an egg and I now understand why Eggs Benedict is $23

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I identify as a weather forecast: Anything’s possible.

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