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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

I really hope that I look like the mirror version of me, and not the camera version.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

True luxury is sleeping until you wake up by yourself.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Wake me up when I’m rich!

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

The shitshow must go on.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

If I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online, it’s not that I lied; it’s just that I failed.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Nobody victim blames more than my oldest son when he’s in trouble for punching his little brother.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

America is like that TV show that’s been on for too long, and the writers don’t know what to do, so they just make anything happen.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Your boos don’t mean anything to me. I’ve seen what you people cheer for!

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

You may find my attraction to Goofy weird, but I don’t give a hyuck.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,422

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Discord:

Combining breakfast and lunch: Brunch. Combining wine and dinner: Winner.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Weekends now feel like short commercial breaks in a stressful movie.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved staying up really late, hanging out with myself, and thinking about stuff and things.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

No one ever talks about the 6th love language (being annoying).

Trending via Slack:

What an embarrassing time to be alive.

Just landed via Facebook:

A man will beg you to take him back just to act right for 5 days and 24 min.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Sometimes a lover girl, sometimes a dinosaur.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I hate taking my pants off at the dentist. So humiliating.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Glory hole but for forehead kisses.

Trending via Reddit:

I’m just saying, no dog has ever ghosted me.

Funny guarantee quotes

Funny guarantee quotes bring a splash of humor to promises and warranties, turning serious commitments into lighthearted laughs 😂✨. Whether you’re sealing a deal or just love clever wordplay, these quirky guarantees add charm and chuckles to everyday assurances. Ready to smile while you seal the deal? Let’s dive into some guaranteed giggles! 🎉😄

New funny guarantee quotes 👇

All funny guarantee quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on Reddit this month:

I fondly remember my days as a younger man when I didn’t care what the weather was going to do.

39 shares on TikTok this month:

Of course, because I’m wearing a white shirt, my coffee chose violence.

51 shares on Messenger this month:

I love saying “my man” and not his name, so when I get a new one, nobody knows.

55 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you don’t buy any snacks, you’re proud for a moment and then incredibly sad.

23 shares on TikTok this month:

People say opposites attract, but I say find a partner who’s deranged in the same ways you are and double your capacity to be annoying.

42 shares on Instagram this month:

The earlier you wake up, the more time you have to think about why you wish you were still asleep in bed.

78 shares on Discord this month:

Girls are happier when their dress has pockets, it’s science.

64 shares on Reddit this month:

I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on.

66 shares on Slack this month:

Your ex is ruining someone else’s life now. You are safe.

13 shares on Telegram this month:

Baby for sale. Refuses to wear shoes.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Prepare your kids for social media by putting their artwork on the fridge and writing a bunch of mean comments under it.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t study, get slutty!

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t even check my bank account no more. I just swipe my card and if it’s god’s will, money will be debited.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I respect the moon’s unwillingness to be photographed on a phone.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting paid to sleep would be such a dream job.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Just worked out for 2 hours straight and 1 hour gay.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

“I don’t do politics.” Politics will do you, my brother and sister. Politics will do you like mad.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Ruin a perfectly nice trip out with your child by bringing your child.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The fewer the people, the greater the inner peace.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I told my computer I needed a break, now it sends me reminders to stretch while I’m lying on the couch.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,288

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Sometimes I want to sleep, but my brain decides to do a little tap dance through every mistake I’ve ever made, instead.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

My goal is to do one thing each day that could prevent me from being elected to political office.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Love how you can hear the crowd constantly forgetting the queen died and singing “God save the Quing”

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

One thing I miss about the pandemic is getting to rip my mask off like I just botched a surgery.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Imagine sex with me. No, not like that, you’re doing it all wrong!

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

I wish I was a moose. No work, no school, just eating grass and wrecking cars.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

There is no sex. I lied. You are gonna lay here and take personality quizzes with me.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

The introverted urge to spend a week alone at home after many holidays and family gatherings.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

“This too shall pass.” And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never f**king ends.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

My favorite hobby is withering away.

Just landed via TikTok:

Home: Where I can look ugly and not care.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

People don’t hate working, they hate working and still being poor.

Live now on Slack:

No, I’m not depressed. I’m sure there’s just something wrong with the planets or stars or something.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

You know it’s a fancy restaurant when you have to point at what you want on the menu because you can’t pronounce the name.

Just landed via Twitch:

The early bird gets to cry for a little bit longer in the work parking lot.

Making waves on Snapchat:

My apologies to the Goodreads reviewer who found my novel about vampires on a submarine, “unrealistic.”

Going viral on Facebook:

Life so stupid, I just want a burger and to be held.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Netflix will help you finish the name of the movie you’re typing, and then tell you they don’t have it.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I like listening to podcasts because it’s basically getting to enjoy a conversation without having to participate in it.

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