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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

People used to fly kites. Glad that’s over with.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

They give smokers all those breaks to make up for the time taken off their lifespan.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Lifting my wife’s wedding veil and finding out she’s Darth Maul.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Y’all made fun of Plankton on Spongebob for dating a computer, and look at y’all now.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Channeling my inner pretzel to achieve expert-level bad posture.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Miso soup is such a silly name, like “Yes, you so soup.”

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Don’t donate your plasma. It’s a big scam, and they’re just using it to make TVs.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for cauliflower cookies and reported them for harmful content.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Feeling like a bug without his rug.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

I appreciate the people that interact with me and I really appreciate the ones that don’t.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,323

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Messenger:

Being shy is so annoying. Why is my chest hurting me, because I need to speak in public?

Just landed via Snapchat:

My first thought upon waking up in the morning is “not again”.

Making waves on YouTube:

You’re confusing me with someone who cares what you think of me.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Did it hurt when you forgot your headphones and couldn’t romanticize your walk home?

Making waves on Telegram:

Applying lip balm when you know someone’s watching you is a power move.

Going viral on Messenger:

Shouldn’t it have been called the ‘not answering machine’?

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Marriage is for life. But when that was first said, life was shorter.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Maybe Baby wants to be put in the corner.

Going viral on Messenger:

I don’t procrastinate, I delegate to my future self.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

My funeral better have a bloody merch table.

Funny headlights quotes

Funny headlights quotes light up your day like a pair of bright beams on a dark road 🚗💡 Ready to shine some humor on those trusty car accessories? Whether you’re a night driver or just love clever wordplay, these witty lines will have you laughing all the way to your next adventure 😄✨ Get ready to see headlights in a whole new hilarious light!

New funny headlights quotes 👇

All funny headlights quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You either have a full ketchup bottle in your house or an almost empty one. There’s no in-between.

100 shares on Pinterest this month:

Get a Ring camera so you can yell at your kids when they’re out front and freak them out.

71 shares on Twitch this month:

If my cats are going to insist upon me getting up early, they’re going to have to learn how to make coffee.

36 shares on Pinterest this month:

Therapy is basically me saying, “I did a thing,” and my therapist saying, “Yay, good job!”

91 shares on Twitch this month:

I need a massage for my brain.

74 shares on Twitch this month:

People my age are raising children, and I’m just here trying to bribe myself with treats into doing my own chores.

20 shares on WeChat this month:

Just bought a new umbrella for the person that finds it tomorrow.

94 shares on X this month:

I switched from coffee to orange juice and told my doctor I felt better. He said it’s the vitamin C and natural sugars, but I think it’s the vodka.

45 shares on Slack this month:

If you have ever spent an hour on Twitter then you understand why there’s such an urgency to create Artificial Intelligence.

53 shares on Reddit this month:

A more accurate description would be ‘The Darker Web’.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for a cauliflower cake, and I reported them for harmful content.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Love that every time I finish a snack I have to wave my hands around to prove to my dog it’s all gone, like I’m cashing him out at a casino or something.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Does anyone actually know how to pronounce Worcestershire sauce correctly, or do we all just stumble through it and hope for the best?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If only my bank balance was as high as my daily calorie intake.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes a lover girl, sometimes a dinosaur.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Not being able to fall asleep is so embarrassing. All I’m asking my brain to do is nothing and it can’t even do that?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The sun really clocks out for the day before I do. That’s insane.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer to the end you get, the faster it goes.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Too many types of pasta. I can say my fav is Fliccaroni and not one of you can be sure if it’s real. Look at you googling it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,263

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

My phone storage is full so I guess it’s time to delete the 27 second video I took of a spiderweb four years ago.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Nothing prepared me for the part of adulthood where you look like a baby deer learning to walk every time you get out of bed in the morning.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

You look like you suck at Mario Kart.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

I just want someone who will treat me like a lady and hold the refrigerator door open for me.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

I don’t give people directions. What if no one wants them there?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

I’m tired of adding ‘LOL’ to the end of my texts for sensitive people.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

I’ve come to the conclusion that my guardian angel is very possessive about me.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

For your own sanity, always take mixed signals as a no.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

My favorite recipe is the one where I pick up the phone and order food.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Autocorrect changed ‘are you around?’ to ‘are you aroused?’ and my buddy didn’t want to hang out today.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

I can literally trace the moment my career died back to when my boss said he was in back-to-back meetings, and I said, “Isn’t face-to-face better?”

Shared recently on Discord:

I have no idea how dishwasher tablets work. I’ve already taken five of them, and I still don’t feel like doing the dishes!

Spreading quickly via Threads:

“Nothing burger” is such a funny phrase. Americans when nothing: so imagine a burger.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Marriage is where you gasp while your husband is driving, and he gets super annoyed over and over.

Going viral on Reddit:

I’m in a comfy dress today, but I look like a potato in floral. Call me Nelly Flortato.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

French fries are like the lifeboats on the Titanic. They never give you enough.

Trending via YouTube:

I have noticed something quite worrying: after I buy more things I have less money.

Just shared via WeChat:

Just got revenge on someone who wronged me many, many years ago. Never relax, I’m coming.

Making waves on Threads:

Do married people watch Gen Z dating and feel like they caught the last chopper out of Nam?

Going viral on Snapchat:

All the observable evidence suggests that, if I was much worse at my job, I’d be more likely to get a promotion to senior management.

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