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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

I literally never want to be the bigger person again. We can both go to hell.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

May life treat you exactly the same way you treat servers, store clerks, senior citizens, children, and animals.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

To everyone I offended this year: do better next year, so I don’t have to do it again.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Only difference between me and someone in a psych ward is I’m outside.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Show me another rule so I can break that one too.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Partying hard on this Friday night, and by partying hard, I mean laying on my bed starfish-style.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Phone is a cigarette for eyes.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Why are plane tickets so expensive? You’re going that way anyway, just give me a ride.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Note: Press the button on the elevator as often as possible to activate the secret express function and speed up the thing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Jan 2, 2026

3,720

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

David Attenborough narrating my life: “He’s still sleeping.”

Spotted on Threads:

I’m tired of being an adult. Therefore, I will be stepping down. Thank you!

Breaking via Messenger:

My boyfriend is mad at me because I keep replying with a fire extinguisher emoji to every girl that comments with a flame emoji on his pictures.

Just landed via Instagram:

There should be bloopers at the end of horror films to relax the viewer before sleeping.

Breaking via Facebook:

I have the patience of a nearly ripe avocado.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

The good news is cannon deaths have gone down dramatically in the last hundred years.

Trending via Snapchat:

Please don’t ask me about my dream job. I would never work in my dreams.

Making waves on TikTok:

Winter hack: Avoid the cold by never leaving your house.

Making waves on Facebook:

Imagine how scary sharks would be if they wore necklaces made out of our teeth.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Whoever came up with “penny for your thoughts,” “don’t nickel and dime me,” and “another day another dollar” sure knew how to coin a phrase.

Funny health insurance quotes

Funny health insurance quotes bring a hilarious twist to a topic we all love to avoid! 😂💊 From mind-boggling premiums to unexpected copays, these witty lines turn confusion into comedy. Whether you’re a policy pro or just trying to figure out your coverage, get ready to laugh your way through the fine print! 🤣📄💉 Say goodbye to boring insurance talk and hello to some lighthearted relief!

New funny health insurance quotes 👇

My favorite part about health insurance is how your teeth and eyeballs are add-ons.

0

2 months ago

add-on, cost, eyeball, favorite, health, health insurance, insurance, insurance cost, sarcasm, teeth, tooth
I’m so hungry, I could eat a full-time job with health insurance.

0

2 months ago

eat, eating, health, health insurance, humor, hunger, hungry, i, insurance, job, joke, salary, work, work humor, workplace
They should invent health insurance that insures your health.

0

2 months ago

health, health insurance, humor, insurance, invention, irony, should, wellness

All funny health insurance quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on WeChat this month:

“Lmao” has survived and even thrived over the years, but its cousin “rofl” has faded into indignity. The cruelty of fate.

67 shares on Instagram this month:

Pleasing everyone, that’s impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake!

16 shares on Threads this month:

That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, knock over a lamp, and land on the floor.

42 shares on X this month:

I was about to stop overthinking, then I thought of a giraffe having a sore throat.

21 shares on X this month:

They should invent a small lifestyle change that has an instantaneous, huge payoff.

62 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

46 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You should be allowed to miss work if you’re not feeling sexy.

87 shares on Messenger this month:

You can’t spell fries without friends. I guess what I’m saying is that fries are friends. Delicious friends.

75 shares on Snapchat this month:

Actually, no one sees you at your worst like your coworkers do.

27 shares on Reddit this month:

I miss when my hardest decision was Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

7 folks are currently checking 👀

No, I wasn’t dancing. I got harassed by a bumble bee.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I should go to jail so I can focus on the gym.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Men love when you ask them to explain something to you. It is considered a sign of deep respect in their culture.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t let me drive if you’re gonna scream every time we almost die.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I alway get the same thing every year for Christmas. Fat!

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Pretty sure the inventor of noise-canceling headphones had a young kid trying to learn an instrument.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

They’re making me do work at work.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Women swear they be broke… Then, all of a sudden, here comes that Shein delivery.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,672

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

You gotta ask people nowadays, are you single single, mad at your partner single, blocked single or single just in your head.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

It’s awesome when people honk at you for not moving when you’re letting people cross. You’re right, bro, I should just annihilate this family of four.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Parenthood is so crazy. We’re really out here getting bullied by the people we made.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Some call it flirting… I call it just being extra nice to someone who is extra attractive…

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Idiocracy wasn’t supposed to be a documentary.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

“Thank you for choosing Amtrak.” No problem. There are no other trains.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

What do you mean it’s Monday? We just had Monday. This can’t be right.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

I don’t always have time to fold laundry, but when I do, I don’t.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Every Friday, I’m like, “This weekend I’m getting my life together,” and then… I don’t.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

I feel so discombobulated when supermarkets switch up the aisles without texting me first.

Seen just now on Reddit:

You want me to sit in the back seat? The thing that killed JFK?

Just shared via WeChat:

If “live each day as if it’s your last” means being paralyzed with anxiety and a sense of impending doom, then I am absolutely nailing it.

Trending via Threads:

I’m a people pleaser, unless you don’t like that. Then I’m not.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Smithereens is the worst way to get blown.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Peter Parker having to juggle a day job with being a superhero feels kinda stupid nowadays. Just launch a Patreon, my man. Throw a PayPal link in that Spider-bio.

Just shared via TikTok:

Married life: Telling your partner the same sentence 7 days in a row, only for him to say, “You definitely never told me that!”

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Only thing that can cure my depression is $500 million.

Spotted on YouTube:

I really admire the suns ability to be exactly where my car’s visor can’t block it out.

Trending via Reddit:

The leading cause for injury in old men is them thinking they are still young men.

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