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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Everything is dishwasher safe if you don’t care enough about it.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

My hair dryer is so powerful that it doubles as my leaf blower.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

I’m naturally funny cause my whole life is a joke.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

“Topless” doesn’t always mean breasts or a convertible. Sometimes it also means the brain.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Giving out false information so I know who the leak is.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Going to all the Halloween parties this year as the Invisible Man.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

I’m nearly qualified to be a weaver. My final exam is looming.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,635

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

“Dairy Queen” is actually the perfect drag name.

Just shared via TikTok:

My transformation into a bitter, angry old woman is almost complete.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

There’s some gifs that I’ve started to act out in real life as responses to situations.

Seen just now on Discord:

Another day without sex, but a mosquito just sucked on my neck and I moaned a little bit.

Going bananas on Slack:

Celery is depressing green water wafers.

Making waves on Facebook:

In the American Bible, Eve was made from part of a McRib.

Going viral on Twitch:

Bands who can’t afford a smoke machine should hire my wife to cook at their concert.

Home » Funny High-speed Quotes

Funny high-speed quotes

New funny high-speed quotes 👇

All funny high-speed quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Why do my fully charged AirPods deplete at different rates? Do I listen harder out of one ear?

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

I’m not really a “glass half full” kind of person. I’m more of a “Where’d I put my glass?” kind of person.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

It’s so funny that people directly compare Dune and Furiosa when all that they have in common is that there’s sand.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

You can always tell when a man is dating someone new. Why you going to the aquarium and the museum?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

I’ve taken a long, hard look at myself. I won’t be doing that again.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

The class: “You want us to do what?” Super Mario: “Jump around, catch and eat the giant mushroom, bang your head against the crates and, if necessary, crush all the critters. It’sa easy!”

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Reverse cowgirl so I can bend backward and look at him like the Exorcist.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

Today, I’m going to give it my almost.

Spotted on Snapchat:

When I die, I hope I’m remembered for my ability to take any bad situation and make it worse.

Spotted on YouTube:

Stay up till 4 a.m. one night, and your sleep schedule is ruined for the next 4 years.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Do men know they don’t have to keep their clothing until it disintegrates?

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

You don’t get to tell me what to do, you’re not my cat.

Making waves on Twitch:

Almost fell asleep while putting on the sweater because it got dark for a moment. That’s all you need to know about my morning state.

Just shared via X:

If you meet me and I’m talking to myself, just keep walking. I’m self-employed and I’m in a meeting with senior management.

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Funny high-speed quotes

New funny high-speed quotes 👇

Think about how many more lovers you’d have if a cross country high-speed rail existed. That’s what they are taking away from you.

We could have high-speed rail that connects the entire country, but instead we get AI porn bots that steal all of our drinking water to entertain the dumbest people alive.

All funny high-speed quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Lost my Thesaurus. Gutted. Really gutted. Like absolutely gutted.

Some people call me crazy. I prefer the term happy with a twist.

People are too casual about the fact that parrots can talk.

Don’t worry, man, we can probably Photoshop the deep and enduring sadness out of your eyes later.

Yes, I’m full of microplastics, but it’s actually been helpful. It’s given me superpowers. I can communicate with Tupperware.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Who wants to do all my adult stuff for me today?

Trying to work outside on a laptop is like sunbathing on a melting ice cube.

Corporate life requires an ass-licking skill set I simply wasn’t born with.

I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets’ whims too easily, but holy shit, these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time, weeks ago, they had a taste of some ‘better’ food.

Welcome to your 50s, there’s a wrong way to stretch now.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Canadians are nice because they’re close to Santa.

Sometimes you just need to eat shredded cheese straight out of the bag.

Practicing how I’m gonna explain to the aliens that baseline and Vaseline do not sound the same.

I’m sorry for setting the impossible standards that the rest of you try to live up to.

Wanted to update everybody on my diet. I’ve decided it’s okay to be fat.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Microdosing bungee jumping by bending over to pick up a hair tie.

I watch “Law and Order” so much that when I turn off the TV, I wipe my fingerprints off the remote.

A female will ghost you, and the whole time she is waiting for you to text back again.

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