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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

I bet once Bigfoot tries cheeseburgers, he’s gonna wanna hangout with us all the time.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Roses are pink. I need a drink.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Things will be fine, eventually—in thousands of years—for rocks.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Sometimes, in the middle of eating a rotisserie chicken, I ask myself “did I just run a red light?”

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Being an adult is when you ask the babysitter when you should be home.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Happy return of “yes of course it’s bedtime, see how dark it is outside” to all parents who celebrate.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Daylight savings is not enough. You need to be daylight investing.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Who called it a heatwave and not a temperature tantrum?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Just because I’m friendly doesn’t mean I like you. It just means that I’m not rude.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

The breathing exercises from the birth preparation course are only needed once the child has reached puberty.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2145 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,307

Funny Quotes Topics

15,034

Funny Quotes Images

12,307

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,450

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I put the ‘no’ in ‘I will let u know’.

Freshly posted on X:

When I was a kid, I never expected the future to suck this much.

Live now on Pinterest:

There is absolutely no excuse for laziness. But if you find one, let me know.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but my doctor says I have an irreversible terminal condition called aging.

Breaking via Facebook:

I think you’re like the cat’s meow, annoying yet sweet.

Seen just now on Discord:

The sun really clocks out for the day before I do. That’s insane.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

A dating app called Unhinged where you agree to meet up and fight each other.

Just landed via Instagram:

Feeling like a bug without his rug.

Spreading quickly via X:

First caveman to see fire: Well, this is a buncha bullshit that no one needs (stomps it out) and I predict that’s the last I’ll ever see of that.

Trending via Reddit:

Money is always a motive for murder. Stay broke.

Home » Funny Investigation Quotes

Funny investigation quotes

Funny investigation quotes bring a hilarious twist to the serious world of sleuthing 🕵️‍♂️🔍 Whether you’re a mystery lover or just enjoy a good laugh, these witty lines add sparkle to any case 🕵️‍♀️✨ Get ready to crack smiles while cracking clues and discover how humor makes every investigation a little more fun 😄📚

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For even more funny investigation quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny investigation quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2145 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,307

Funny Quotes Topics

15,034

Funny Quotes Images

12,307

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,434

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

The easiest way to bundle your home and auto insurance is to live in your car.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

I wish I could Shazam a perfume.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Airport security asked me if I’ve seen anything unusual. I just paid $18 for a coke & a sandwich. Let’s start with that.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Standing on a scale and thinking: so much wisdom and inner beauty can’t be light.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Boss: You’ll never find another job like this. Me: That’d be great.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Sometimes nature makes art, like trees, waterfalls, and the human butt.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Sunday is proof that time travel exists, because it was just Friday.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

If the interviewer doesn’t think it’s cool when you pull a quarter out of his ear, the job wasn’t good enough for you anyways.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

Me: “I should treat myself to something.” My bank account: “Dream on.”

Going viral on TikTok:

My life is just a series of awkward moments separated by snacks.

Breaking via Discord:

I don’t want to sound controversial, but having Monday off is great. We should do this every week.

Making waves on Slack:

It was so hot today, I thought I was going to be cremated.

Breaking via YouTube:

Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Babies first steal your glasses and then bite your nose. I don’t know where they get their reputation.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Grocery stores should have baskets in the middle of the store for those “I really overestimated how much I can carry” moments.

Spotted on Slack:

When people give me directions and they’re like “you can’t miss it,” I’m like, “Oh, you do not know what I’m capable of.”

Freshly posted on Messenger:

There are drug-sniffing dogs, guide dogs, dogs that save lives. And then there’s my dog, who hits the lead when he poops.

Live now on Facebook:

Who is this Rorschach guy and where did he get all the pictures of my parents fighting?

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