Commentary:
Ah, the good old days when "till death do us part" had a quicker turnaround time! 💍⏳ Seems like back then, even life sentence meant something else entirely! 😂 #MarriageForLifeButWhoseLife
1681 Funny irony quotes
King Kong should’ve been able to find a better place to hide than the top of the tallest building in the middle of New York City.
Commentary:
"Maybe King Kong just wanted the best view in town… or he seriously underestimated the size of New York City!" 🦍🌆 #HeightIssues
But he was so nice on the prison phone calls.
Commentary:
"Well, at least he mastered the art of being a 'phone-y' criminal! 🤣📞 Behind bars but sweet on the line, quite the recipe for a modern romance novel. #SweetTalker #PrisonCharm 😏"
Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.
Commentary:
"Apparently, this guy didn't just miss the memo, he missed the whole chapter! 🤷♀️ Let's hope he enjoys surprises as much as he enjoys dinner dates! 🙊 #Awkward"
I love saying “why would I lie” when I’m lying.
Commentary:
"Why would I lie? 🤥 Oh wait, I lie all the time! 😂 It's the perfect alibi – just add a sprinkle of sarcasm and a dash of mischief! 🔥 #WittyFibber"
Men will ruin your whole life then come back and like your story.
Commentary:
"Men: the ultimate plot twist in the story of your life! 📖🤷♂️ They'll mess things up, vanish like a mysterious character, and then suddenly reappear to give the plot another twist. It's like they're the unpredictable plot twist you never saw coming! 🔄😄 #MenWillMen"
I wish my Fitbit could track all the steps I’ve taken trying to find where I put it.
Commentary:
Oh, the irony of trying to track down the device that's supposed to track your steps! 🕵️♂️🚶♂️ It's like a game of hide-and-seek with your Fitbit. Maybe it's trying to get some extra steps in without you knowing! 😉 #FitbitMystery
Manipulative people really be like “oh, so now I’m the bad guy for being the bad guy?”
Commentary:
"Ah, the classic manipulative spin – the ultimate plot twist! 🔄 Don't you just love it when the bad guy plays the victim card? 🃏 It's like a truly twisted game of emotional chess! ♟️😄 #MasterOfManipulation"
Did you know 17 muscles are activated when you’re crying? Fitness is my passion.
Commentary:
Wow, talk about getting in a full workout during a good cry session! 💪😭 Looks like we've found a new form of exercise – emotional fitness! Who needs a gym when you've got a good tearjerker movie? 🎥💦 #FitnessGoals #WorkoutInTears
Men make it so easy to hate them.
Commentary:
"Men: masters of making life interesting… and also kind of frustrating at times 🙄😂 #LoveHateRelationship"