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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฏ has viewed:

โ€œDamn, youโ€™re tight!โ€ I whisper as I look at my monthly budget.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ช has copied:

Using ChatGPT requires you to actually be smart; otherwise, it just regurgitates your dumb takes back to you.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ช has viewed:

If you ever ask a teen to do something and they just say โ€œsureโ€ without arguing, check that they havenโ€™t been replaced with an android.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has copied:

Automatic doors that donโ€™t open fast enough make me look dumb.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡น has viewed:

I love Pinterest. No opinions. No bad vibes. Just pretty pictures.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡ณ has copied:

Panties is such a weird word. Panties. I can’t say it sexy.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ป has downloaded:

Good friends don’t let their friends do stupid things alone.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ด๐Ÿ‡ฒ has downloaded:

Not now, kitten. Mommyโ€™s destroying and betraying herself for nothing.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ณ has bookmarked:

I donโ€™t need a recipe for disaster. I usually just eyeball it.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡พ has copied:

It’s messed up how us humans have to obey all these laws while bears get to eat whoever they want.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,794

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Going bananas on Slack:

I am losing touch with reality and I couldnโ€™t be happier.

Shared recently on X:

I like running because itโ€™s cheaper than paying for a gym membership. If the gym wants the money I owe them, theyโ€™ll have to catch me.

Going viral on Telegram:

Underrated life skill: only doing what feels genuinely right and letting everything else go.

Going bananas on Discord:

For whom the Fetty Waps.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.

Making waves on Instagram:

They said donโ€™t try this at home, so Iโ€™m coming over to your place.

Just shared via Messenger:

I love when toddlers passionately talk to you about absolutely nothing.

Trending via TikTok:

Iโ€™ll see you in your nightmares.

Breaking via X:

Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I always wonder who makes a more stupid face: women putting on make-up or men shaving?

Home ยป Funny January 1st Quotes

Funny January 1st quotes

New funny January 1st quotes ๐Ÿ‘‡

All funny January 1st quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes ๐Ÿ‘Œ

New Funny Quotes
๐ŸŽฒ Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

๐ŸŽ๐ŸŽ…๐ŸŽ„ Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars โญ

79 shares on Twitch this month:

I never had a year with this much thinking. Iโ€™ve been thinking since the 1st.

39 shares on Threads this month:

Whatever you ask the Universe for under this post, you will get next week.

96 shares on Instagram this month:

The Gulf of Mexico shouldโ€™ve been renamed to Sea Seรฑor.

79 shares on Pinterest this month:

Jehovahโ€™s Witnesses tell the worst knock knock jokes.

60 shares on Slack this month:

What I’ve learned in all these years of marriage is how to open a bottle of beer silently.

54 shares on Telegram this month:

Commas are like garlic, you measure with your heart.

98 shares on Messenger this month:

I wanted to sleep it off, but insomnia said, โ€œNot tonight, buddy.โ€

73 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Handing the bus driver a $50 bill and telling him โ€œJust driveโ€.

44 shares on Messenger this month:

Just being myself is how we got into this mess.

14 shares on YouTube this month:

To everyone who opens the fridge, stares, and closes it hoping new snacks will appear… You’re my people.

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

8 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

If a girl sends you selfies and you donโ€™t compliment her, she should be allowed to electrocute you.

16 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Donโ€™t bother telling me where youโ€™re from, I have no geographical knowledge and no sense of direction.

20 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I learned that when dogs lean against you itโ€™s their version of hugging and now every time my dog leans against me my eyes start leaking.

24 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

โ€œIโ€™m not jealous of nobody but stay-at-home wives who are married to wealthy men.โ€

15 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

A more accurate description would be ‘The Darker Web’.

24 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I donโ€™t get it when people say they are only a โ€œlittleโ€ angry, I am either not mad or will kill you.

23 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I just borrowed some money from a cash app, now I’m about to uninstall it.

10 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

You can tell they named the aardvark early in the week and the anteater on a Friday.

6 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

My card declined at Subway and they started eating the sandwich in front of me.

13 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Yes, I’d love to learn your family card game. I’m sure it won’t be excruciating at all.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,797

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ซ has copied:

Killing me softly with his schlong.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ท has bookmarked:

Using a condom and still pulling out, call that two-factor authentication.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ณ has copied:

The worst thing you can do while cleaning is sit down for a minute.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡บ has shared:

Toothpaste sure knows how to ruin whatever youโ€™re drinking.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ช has copied:

Hotel towels are always the worst. So thick and fluffy that I can’t even close my suitcase.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has shared:

Diabetes was the God of sugar.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ด has shared:

A flat stomach is one of the best accessories.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ท has copied:

Gordon Ramsay is only funny because he’s not talking to me like that.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ง has copied:

No one comes off looking worse than the third party who was asked to interfere in a couple fight.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡บ has downloaded:

Let’s skip the getting-to-know-you phase. Just block me.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Breaking via LinkedIn:

What happened to my ankles tonight mosquitologically can never happen again.

Going viral on X:

Why can’t hackers just delete everyone’s bad debt, credit, and mortgages?

Spotted on Instagram:

Shoulda named my daughter Calculus cause damn sheโ€™s complicated.

Just landed via Twitch:

Pleasing everyone, that’s impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake!

Live now on Slack:

Spotify Wrapped? Next year, maybe you should try to be in the top .05% of listeners to your girlfriend.

Just shared via Facebook:

At some point, my colleagues will manage to get me my own true crime documentary on Netflix.

Just landed via Discord:

Livin’ la vida vodka!

Breaking via Telegram:

My husband was unable to find his coat earlier as heโ€™d accidentally hung it up.

Seen just now on Slack:

You can fake an American accent all you want, but โ€œliterallyโ€ will expose you.

Making waves on Threads:

Girls who leave clothing reviews with their height, weight, and size ordered are going to heaven.

ยฉ 2025. All rights reserved.

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